Notes from the Burrow

Fourteen years down the drain.

2012-01-10T16:17:00.006-05:00

I throw up alot. Multiple times a day. Morning. Afternoon. Night. Any time.

Usually it's a smell that hits me. Like chicken or fish or cologne or poop or basically any smell that is strong. Good or bad. My husband is forbidden from wearing cologne for the next four months because I just can't take it. I hugged a woman at church on Sunday and almost threw up down her back because the perfume smell was sickening.

If Chris wants a kiss, he knows the drill. He must scrinch up his lips really tight so not one bit of air or saliva can escape. He can lightly brush my lips but must never ever exhale when he is close to me so that I don't get a whiff of his breath and have to make a mad dash to the toilet.

I threw up at Kroger outside the pop can return area. I threw up at Meijer at the Lobster tank. I threw up while driving the car, inside a bag. After, I hoped the bag just had some trash or something unimportant in it. It had Calvin's scriptures in it. He got new ones for Christmas.

I was going to throw up yesterday and Cameron could tell the signs. "Hurry, Mom," he says, "put a wipe under your nose. And use this cup." As I threw up in the cup, he ran and got me a can of coke, which settles my stomach. Lizzie rubbed my arm and said, "It's ok, Mama. It's ok." Emily laughs at how I can lean over the sink one minute, throw up and then turn and finish making dinner. But sometimes I just can't finish it. And then Chris is wonderful and brings home pizza.

I'm going to be 24 weeks on Friday and I wish, wish, wish that this throwing up would end. But I have a feeling that it's going to be with me all the way to May 5.

Soup and snowpeas

2011-12-19T06:09:00.003-05:00

Yesterday in church I was watching a father and his teenage daughter. For some of the meeting he had his arm around her in a nice comforting, fatherly way. For a while she had her head on his shoulder. It was very sweet.

There's nothing quite like a dad and a daughter. I was thinking of my dad and how it was a treat when he would sit on the couch and you could sit next to him. He didn't sit on the couch very often because he was usually in his wheelchair. But once in a while, he would transfer over to the couch and I would hurry next to him and snuggle up to him and it was wonderful.

Anna would sit on the back of his wheelchair, kind of like a bird on a perch, and watch TV with him. I can remember when he was in bed, I would sit on the wheelchair next to him and talk and talk. Anna liked to sit on his pull up bar and talk and talk.

I wonder if he ever got tired of all of our girl talking and talking.

If he did, he never let on.

See you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation

2011-12-09T08:46:00.007-05:00

Many years ago, back when I only had 4 children and was still reasonably sane, I was sitting in a Primary presidency meeting. We were discussing issuing a calling to someone. It was brought up how this person was so great at everything they did but they were a little scatterbrained and needed a lot of reminding. We would need to call and remind them of meetings, classes, activites, etc... We might even need to remind them to show up on Sunday to teach. I sat there in the meeting and totally judged this person. I couldn't believe someone could be so dumb that they would forget to show up places.

This past week, I missed a Visiting Teaching appointment. I also missed one last month. It just flew out of my brain and I totally forgot. I did have several sick children home from school and so my schedule was out of whack. Also I didn't enter the appointments into the Cozi. If I don't enter them in the Cozi, I don't remember them. The Cozi is my brain. If you need a brain, go to www.cozi.com for help.

So the moral of the story is, I will become everything I judge harshly. I need to stop judging people. It doesn't do anyone any good.

I feel terrible about missing my Visiting Teaching appointments. I genuinely like and love the women I visit. I like seeing them. I have been a horrible visiting teacher lately. Hopefully I'll get my brain together.

They whisked us backstage, the media is sworming, champagne is flowing...whooo! I can't describe how great it is to win.

2011-11-16T11:43:00.002-05:00

Anna from Annadotes sent me this award. Thank you! Anna is definitely my favorite blogger and it's nice of her to think my blog is great even though I am not very good at updating it.

So the rules are I have to tell you seven things about myself. And then I am supposed to pass this award on to 15 other bloggers. I know I'm not going to make it to 15. Maybe 3 or 5. We'll see.

Seven things:

1. I am pregnant with baby #8. I am pretty sure this is my last baby. Typing this sentence makes me really really really sad. I want more babies. I want infinity babies. But my body doesn't like being pregnant anymore and my wallet is beyond empty and my time is already stretched as thin as it can go. So I think I'm done. And I am going to savor every second of this baby's babyhood.

2. I have a really good memory for things that happened to me as a child. I can remember very minute details. To keep my memory good, I will go over events before I go to sleep and try to remember everything about it. Birthdays...my bedroom as a child...Chris' and my first date...conversations with my mom. I think I was blessed with this because there would be no one left to remind me of these things.

3. I really like to plan ahead for big events. Holidays, birthdays, parties...I like the details all ironed out and the supplies purchased well before the event is supposed to happen. And I really like to have parties. I'm always thinking of reasons to have a party. I wish my house was bigger so I could entertain more often. Chris, on the other hand, likes to plan the event the morning of the event. It drives me crazy. At this very moment our Thanksgiving plans are up in the air and it is making me nuts.

4. I appreciate how easy it is to communicate with other people in 2011. I love texting, email, Facebook, Twitter, etc. I do not love talking on the phone. I also do not love it when people do not text back right away. It REALLY bugs me.

5. I really have no idea how much expensive things cost. I do most of my shopping at Salvation Army, Aldi and Walmart. This past weekend we went to Chicago and Chris and I went to the mall. I don't go to the mall ever except to play at the play area with the kids for playgroup. We went to the bathroom at Macy's and while Chris was in there I looked at the menswear. There was a tie for $185. It was the cheapest one I could find. Seriously? $185 for a piece of silk that goes around your neck. I wonder if I had money to burn would I spend that much for a tie. I don't know. I get mad when I have to pay full price at Target. It seems like a ripoff.

6. I will pay a lot for a really good meal. Thanks to Chris, I have been to some of the nicest restaurants in the country and I have developed a discriminating palate. Sometimes I wish I could go back to when I thought that eating out at Chili's was really something special.

7. If I had a million dollars, the first thing I would do was to buy two houses next to each other. One for me and one for Anna. And I would buy her a car.

Ok so I'm nominating Michelle at So Wonderful, So Marvelous. And Emily at The Emily Diaries. And Tiffany at The Wicked Washburns.

Thanks, Anna!

Aah, French fries.

2011-10-23T22:30:00.006-04:00

I went to Cedar Point on Saturday. We took Chris' Teachers Quorum and Christopher, Emily, Spencer and another friend. It was really fun. I was a little bummed at first because I couldn't ride anything. I am a super coaster lover. I had not been to the Point since 2002. That's a really long time. Growing up, I used to go a couple of times a summer. It was my favorite thing. So it was a little disappointing to watch the Dragster blast off and not be on it and the Millenium Force go plummeting down and not be a part of it. Maybe I'll get a trip next summer.

Here's some things that made it experience worth it for me:

Handcut French Fries with cheese, vinegar and ketchup. I had two servings.

Cheese on a stick.

Going really slow on the Cadillac Cars so Christopher would run into me.

Hearing all the screams.

Running my hands on the railings of the wooden fence at the Gemini. Just feeling the smooth, wooden railings worn down by 30 years of riders made my whole day. I seriously love the Gemini. I know its not the biggest or the fastest but it is definitely my favorite coaster of all time.

Watching all my boys love the Mine Ride.

Boneville

Taffy

Being with Chris and laughing and talking while we waited for kids on rides.

It was a great day. I can't wait to go again and actually ride stuff!

I dont know why Im so carried away!

2011-10-08T11:12:00.001-04:00

For those of you who aren't following me on Facebook, I just wanted to let you know that our family is expecting a new baby due in early May. Wonderful news, huh?

The reaction I wish other people had is Kimmie's reaction to finding out Julianne is fake-engaged in "My Best Friend's Wedding." She claps and screams and jumps up and down. I looked for a clip to post but I couldn't find one.

I wasn't feeling so enthusiastic when I first found out. I still have a baby! I'm going to have a 3 year old, a 1 year old and a new baby. Plus 5 others. Seems a little overwhelming. Also, I was pretty sick with Genny for the entire 9 months and I was not really looking forward to that again.

Then I heard Elder Andersen's talk on the Saturday session of General Conference. It was like Heavenly Father said to him, "There's a lady in Plymouth and here's what she needs you to say." He reminded me why Chris and I started our family right away even though he was still in school. His talk reminded me why we choose not to limit our family size for worldly reasons. It reminded me that I'm doing the Lord's work on a daily basis in my home. It was just what I needed.

I find it so interesting that women often tell me that they wish they could have another baby but it's their husband that won't budge. Sometimes men are so logical and can't work out how another baby will work in their life. I am so blessed to have married a man who lets his faith determine the course of his life. Chris is a man with the courage it takes to follow the Lord's plan for our family. I was raised around some excellent examples of these men, many uncles and fathers of good friends, who share this faith.

I have been feeling pretty sick. Zofran and coke are this pregnant girl's best friends. I hope it's just going to last a few weeks and not 9 months.

I can't wait to find out if we are having a boy or a girl. I don't have a feeling either way. The only feeling I have is that this baby is meant for our family and we will love it with all our hearts.

misty watercolor memories

2011-09-16T11:35:00.003-04:00

This post is for Anna. The rest of you will find it really boring.

Grandma Ballard's house. I don't want to forget the details. Fill in what I have missed and correct what I have wrong.

You pull in the driveway and a rusty mailbox is on the right. Big yard on both sides of driveway. Some big rocks on the left? There's a cherry tree near the driveway and a plum tree that grows little tiny really dark plums. Push doorbell. It's round and white. Garage door opens. White and wood paneling station wagon on left. Golf cart or El Camino or empty on right. Lots of tools and grease. Smells like dirt and grease and cars. Open door that has like a frosty diamond pattern. Shelves on right. Oh man, what I wouldn't give to go through all that stuff now. I'll bet there were some awesome treasures in there. (I have a feeling I'm going type those two above sentences over and over in this post.) Laundry and freezer on left. Messy and cluttered but I never really gave the mess a second thought when I was growing up. Stairs going up, were they gray? I think they were gray or brown. White walls. Was every room in the house white? Did they not believe in color?

Up the stairs. Railings were wooden and smooth. Kitchen on right. Dark cupboards. Light counters. Hexagon rugs on floor? Octagon? Orange and brown? Cheap table with vinyl chairs that had a big vinyl button in them. Am I remembering that right? Old stand mixer. Giant salt and pepper shakers on the stove. Super old stove and fridge. Freezer on bottom. Stuff piled up. Dishes were white with blue flowers. Wish I knew the name of the pattern. Pans were hung on the wall. Remember that pantry built in the wall with the doors? There was a hanging on the wall that I can't picture. Grandad always said the prayer. Something like, "For this food we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly grateful. Amen."

Outside kitchen, hallway to bedrooms on left, living room on right. Mirror on wall. Full length. Wall hanging with owls? Living room had big gray? couch. Two chairs. Table between them with a lamp that looked like the glass was cracked in it. But that was just the style. Mail on table with letters Grandma would save for other people to read. Organ. Fireplace. Pictures of grandkids on mantle. Red recliner across room next to something old. Some kind of cabinet. Picture on wall was people getting married with big old frame. Another table with pictures of grandkids. Next room had big clock that I would give my first born to see again. (Sorry Emily.) Grandma's chair and yarn. Couch with flower slipcover. Remember those vinyl pillows stacked up in bright colors? A TV. Another organ. Bookshelves with books and photo albums. Toys. Red truck toy that was like a wrecker or something. I can't picture the other toys but I know there were more. Was there a picture of a duck and a gun? Or was that in big room? Sewing plant room. Bench next to window to sit on. All windows with lots and lots of plants. More shelves with stuff and sewing machine. Ironing board. Hanging plants. Exercise bike.

Dining room with most beautiful dining table and chairs. Give second born to own that. Side table. Hutch. Wish I could go through that. More plants. Chairs by window. Can't remember what they were made out of. Chandelier was glass.

First bedroom was small. Double bed? White chenille bedspread. Several dressers and a closet all of which I wish I could see what was in it. Second bedroom two twin four poster beds...third born for those. White bedspreads. Two dressers. Fourth born for the mirror and brush set that sat on one of the dressers. LOVED that mirror and brush set. Fifth born for the old electric alarm clock that sat on the bedside table. What was in those dressers and closet? Treasures untold, I'll bet.

Grandma's room fuzzier. Didn't go in there as much. Big bed. Dresser. Grandad's coin purse on dresser. Grandma's jewelry behind door.

There was a book there about a little girl named Penny that goes to church. I would give sixth born for it. Glad I have so many kids.

Bathroom had weird hanging light. Rug on floor. Doorstop was baby food jar with water and fake flowers in it. Mirror on wall. Fancy towels and shower curtain. Mint green?

Saving yard for another post.

One Unit, One Team, One Family

2011-09-08T19:40:00.001-04:00

I wrote this article for the Plymouth-Canton Steeler newsletter.

We've been hearing every week about what it means to be a Steeler Dad. It's very wonderful how you all love the smell of leather and the sound of helmets bashing together.

But, what does it mean to be a Steeler Mom?

Being a Steeler Mom means that at any given time there are cups floating in the suds in your bathroom sink. I don't mean drinking cups. Sometimes they can be found on the floor of the family room. Even in your purse.

Being a Steeler Mom means that at 4:30 at least 4 days a week, you will spend at least 15 minutes trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle of protective gear in pockets that don't seem designed to hold them. You will also break your nails threading a belt through very small holes. Obviously men designed this system.

Then at 4:45, your kitchen will look like it was napalmed with ice and water as your kids get their water buckets ready for practice. And your ice maker will forever be empty from this day forward until the end of practices.

At 4:50, boys will start getting nervous because they don't want to be to be late even though they are on time every time.

Around 7:30, they re-invade your home smelling like a combination of sweat and dirt and other stinky smells and dump their stuff in their gear buckets and are famished. Your kitchen table must look like a Hogwarts feast in order to satisfy their appetites.

Being a Steeler mom means you are always doing laundry because gear always needs to be washed. It also means constantly looking for long black socks and hoping they never get lost in the shuffle.

It means standing at the fence and watching them run around the field and seeing your son trying to keep up and hearing him cry a bit as he approaches you and you make eye contact and know at that moment you have two choices: a.) Run out there and grab him and tell him "lets go for ice cream" and never make him do anything hard again or b.) Cheer him on and swallow option a, knowing that quitting never helped anyone.

It means watching your 13 year old son diet to make weight and run with a sweatsuit in the middle of August to sweat the extra 2 pounds out of himself on game day.

It means their fingernails are never clean.

It means their arms and legs are full of bruises.

It means your car is full of mud and dirt and old newsletters and wrappers.

It means your wallet is empty because they need cleats, football haircuts, athletic supporters, Steeler sweatshirts and food from the Snack Shack each week.

It means saying a prayer every time your son is snapping, catching, or carrying the ball or hitting another person or being hit by other people.

It means standing up in the stands when a player is down and hoping to God it's not your son and feeling bad because then it means it's some other mom's son.

It means listening to loooong discussions on paratroopers, 40 40's, burpees, bull in the ring, black 0, gold 0 and what mood Coach Lanava was in at practice.

Being a Steeler mom means after the game they come and find you first out of everyone and you can tell immediately how they did. Sometimes their faces gleam with happiness and they hug you so hard and tell you this is the best day of their lives. Sometimes their eyes are brimming with tears they are trying to hold back and they hang their heads and tell you they are so disappointed they lost.

Being a Steeler mom means knowing that your boys are in the most competent hands five days a week learning what it means to be a man because they have some of the most excellent examples around.

Being a Steeler mom means loving the game of football even though sometimes it makes no sense and seems a little barbaric.

Most of all, being a Steeler mom means being willing to make sacrifices for your children. Sacrificing your time and energy and money so that they can participate in a program that does a most excellent job at turning them into dependable, hard-working, polite and respectful young people.

Being a Steeler mom means holding your head high and having a certain amount of pride knowing your son has what it takes to be a Steeler player.

I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Sooner or later, we all go to the zoo.

2011-09-06T14:52:00.005-04:00

I love the Toledo Zoo. It's my favorite zoo that I've ever been to. For our family to go to the zoo, it would cost more than we have. I've been wanting to go. Cameron has never been to a zoo. Poor child! Last week, the Toledo Blade gave Chris 10 free tickets to the zoo. I was beside myself with excitement. I would find myself singing the Raffi zoo song at odd moments. I fantasized about the flashlight fish. And the baby elephant! The baby elephant! I was jazzed.

We decided to go on Labor Day. It was a wonderful, fun trip. We took our own lunches and didn't spend any money on anything else. We saw orangutans, polar bears, giraffes, tigers, lions, elephants (baby and big), snakes, hippos, birds, fish, turtles, penguins, sloth bears, apes, cheetahs and bald eagles.

The Toledo Zoo has changed a lot over the years. I was walking around remembering so many things that were different when I was younger:

Entering the zoo through the subway tunnel and yelling to hear the echo

Hearing the sound of the peacocks all over the zoo

The train tunnel that had a black light

The seals where the penguins used to be that would swim and play all the time

The smell in what is now the "Carnivore Cafe"

The petting zoo that had more than just goats

The giant tortoise

Sunday night symphony concerts at the Amphitheatre

I know there used to be another ride besides the train and carousel. Does anyone remember what it was?

I'm so glad we got to go. It was a great day. Thanks, Toledo Blade!

You can see some pictures of our trip here.

Who built the ark? Noah! Noah! Who build the ark? Brother Noah built the ark!

2011-08-28T02:22:00.005-04:00

I'm a bad aunt.

Our family looks so weird in this picture.

My nephew, Noah Patrick Henry Onofrio, was born a month ago today and I haven't posted about it.

He is blonde. And soft. And quiet. And alert. And cute. And he smells soooooo good.

And I love him so much.

My sister has recovered incredibly fast. She seems back to her old self. Lucy has adjusted well to having Baby Brother in her life.

Happy One Month Birthday today, Noah! I love you!

Well, I almost did once, and I blacked out. When I came to, the car was in a ditch, and the tank was full. I don’t know who did it.

2011-08-25T14:11:00.004-04:00

I ran out of gas today.

I was running around so busy so early in the morning. Our power went out last night with the storm. We decided to go to sleep at Carol's even though I really didn't want to. It's such a hassle transporting the kids and making them sleep in a strange place and sleeping on the couch. I got a horrible nights sleep. I had to have Calvin at Smith by 7:40 so he could catch the bus to West for his orientation. When they say 7:40, they mean 7:40. We got there at 7:41 and watched the bus pull away. So I hurried him to West. I was supposed to meet Jodi at Einsteins for breakfast and because I didn't read her text close enough, I went to the wrong one. I knew I was on E but I thought maybe I had a few more miles.

At Hartsough, I felt the van tremble a little and sputter and then it died. I just couldn't believe it. Seriously, what I would like the car comanies to invent is a red light for gas. I have the yellow light. That means: get gas soon. The red light will mean: Lady, Get Gas NOW! I would really listen to the red light. Maybe.

So I walked back down Sheldon to the Speedway and bought a gas can and filled it. I started to walk back when Mari saw me and gave me a lift back to my car. A policeman showed up just as I did and helped me figure out the gas can. It was confusing. I filled up and made my way up to Einsteins. All before 8:30! What a fun morning!

Calvin got his classes for middle school. He's excited because he has a good friend in all of his core classes. I hope they don't get kicked out of 6th grade together. They can be pretty crazy. I wonder where Calvin gets that from...

It's like swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine

2011-08-24T14:42:00.002-04:00

Last night we had a really fun Relief Society activity. We all met at Carol's for a ladies only pool party. We had snacks and desserts and didn't have to share the pool with 10 kids or worry about getting splashed if we didn't want to or have to save anyone from drowning. It was heavenly. A whole bunch of ladies came and I'm so glad I got to talk to new members of the ward. They are a really great bunch of girls. It could have been a tiny bit warmer outside. That would have made it absolutely perfect. Next year, I think we'll have the party a little earlier in the summer season that way we will get a warmer night. Even with the chilly air, it really was a super fun time.

You want to hurt me?

2011-08-23T12:50:00.004-04:00

Go ahead if it makes you feel better.
I'm an easy target.
Yeah, you're right.
I talk too much.
I also listen too much.
I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me.
I'm not changing.
I like--I like me.
My wife likes me.
My customers like me.
'Cause I'm the real article.
What you see is what you get.

Feeling better today. I went to bed still feeling weighted down. Chris took me to The Box Bar to cheer me up with some mediocre food. We know one of the waiters there and when I jokingly told him I wanted to see the beer menu he said he wouldn't serve it to us even if we wanted it. Cupcake Station was closed by the time we got there to get a cupcake so I settled for a Magnum bar. I sat in bed on my 800 thread-count sheets, watching Seinfeld and eating my Double Caramel Magnum bar. What more could I ask for?

I hate all the cutbacks the school district is making. I have to drive Cameron one way to school this year. The buses will only run one way. The bus taking teams to sporting events will only go one way. It costs $230 to play a sport at the high school. Our swim team is totally handicapped by the fact that we have to share a pool. I know that there are countless other cutbacks that are being made all over the district this year. I hate taxes but I would vote for a millage should it be proposed now. Wish I could have raised my kids in the 80s/90s. This is what we talked about during our mediocre dinner at Box Bar.

So I woke up feeling like I can't make everyone happy and I can't do everything. I'm just going to do what I can do. If that doesn't work for other people, in the words of Blair Ballard: "Bun 'em!"

**Name the movie quote at the top of this post and you'll win one million dollars!***

Random Thoughts from Jennifer Vos

2011-08-22T13:11:00.005-04:00

I'm in a really bad mood.

It's really hard to have so many kids and today I'm really feeling it. My calendar over the next few weeks is incredibly busy. I feel like bricks are piled on my shoulders.

I have a lot of car seats. One is for Cameron that can move all over the place cuz it's really light and just uses the lapbelt. Lizzie and Genny's seats belt in with the latch system. Those latch hooks are so hard to get in and out. I really hate moving their seats around. I like to keep their seats on the ends of the first two benches closest to the doors because when I have to get them in the van it is so hard to hold on to both of them and climb in the van at the same time to get to the farther seats. If I let go of one of them, they will run away from me. So by putting their seats on the ends of the benches, I quickly and easily pop each girl up into their seat and then buckle them. I say quickly and easily but I really mean a little quicker and a little easier. It's still pretty slow and hard. I'm sorry to all the high school and middle school kids who I give rides to that have to climb over car seats to get to a seat. You are welcome to move them if you want to reattach them for me after you get out.

I have to say that I'm sorry to Tamara Howard for not being friendly when she first moved in to our ward. I am really scared to talk to people I don't know. I am worried what they might think of me. I'm fat and I don't dress cute. I had an experience about 13 years ago. We had just moved to Toledo and I didn't know too many people at church. I went to Relief Society and I told myself I was going to sit by someone who was alone and talk to her. I did but she was not receptive to my reaching out. She didn't reach back. It was awkward and uncomfortable and I told myself that I wouldn't do it anymore. I would just talk to people I knew from then on. And that's what I've done pretty much ever since. I wait until I get to know someone from playgroup or book club or a calling and then reach out. Tamara didn't do any of these things and I never got to know her. I didn't reach out or try to get to know her at all until we had to serve together in Young Women. And then I found out what an awesome person she is. And now she is moving away. What a waste. I vowed I wouldn't ever do that again.

I have put that promise into practice by reaching out to people who have come to our ward from the old Westland Ward. I've met lots of really great, nice women because I was willing to say, "Hi, my name is Jennifer Vos. Who are you?" Somehow I'm able to forget that I'm fat and frumpy. I try and focus on looking into their eyes and letting them know that I am sincerely welcoming them. It seems to be working ok. I wish I had a smile like my mom's. She had the greatest smile. It was so welcoming and reassuring. How could you not love her?

Facebook and social media and blogging is not the devil. I was really surprised when our Bishop used my name in his admonition yesterday that social media is a scourge. It really could have been taken wrong by members of the ward. I knew what he meant. A few years ago, he gave a talk about social media being bad and said he would call it "T squared W." Said to tell him if we figured it out. I figured out that it meant "total time waster." So he tells ward to beware social media and that it's a "T squared W" and just ask Jennifer Vos. Someone could take that to mean that Jennifer Vos wastes all her time on social media. Just ask her how that's working for her. It really took me aback. I wish he hadn't said my name. And I really don't think social media is a scourge.

I am doing the snack shack for Steeler Football again. I really love doing it. It's so much work. But I love helping and being involved. The boys had their first scrimmage on Saturday and their first game is this coming Saturday. I'm excited for it! They love playing so much and are really dedicated to it. The parents who participate as coaches and volunteers are some of the best people I have ever met. I'm so glad our family is involved in such a worthwhile organization.

Emily was moved up to the senior level of the varsity swim team. I'm so proud of her. Yesterday we were singing primary songs on the way to church and I picked "The Books of the New Testament." When it came to "Timothy, Timothy, Titus and Philemon," somehow I pronounced "Titus" as "Spidus." We all cracked up and then Emily held out her hands like Spiderman and yelled "Spidus!" We are going to add that to our "KISHKUMEN" joke.

I love my family.

Thankful Thursday 8/11/11

2011-08-11T18:24:00.001-04:00

1. Hitachi

2. The Miracle of the Air Conditioner

3. Uglies Swim Suits

4. Drop7

5. A Brand New Dishwasher

Random Thoughts from Jennifer Vos

2011-07-15T15:42:00.005-04:00

I don't like Fred. He drives me nuts.

Tomorrow is Spencer's baptism. Last night I was quiet and Chris could tell I was thinking about something. He asked me what was going on and I told him I was worried about the baptism. I was freaking out because I don't have an embroidered white towel for him to dry off with and I don't have a sign in book for people to wish him well and I didn't get all his relatives to write their testimonies down for him and then scrap them in a keepsake book... I could tell Chris thought I was crazy for a second and then he reminded me that it's the ordinance that's important. My mind went to this talk. Chris is right. It's the ordinance and not all the other junk. Why do I put such an emphasis on the junk sometimes?

Anna is due in 2 weeks. Due to have a sweet, delicious baby brother. I am super excited. We decided that society needs to create special pre-labor retreats for mothers to be. You can go your last two weeks of pregnancy and be pampered. Manicures and pedicures. Room service. Movies and TV on demand. Full library. You can have visitors upon your request. Sounds heavenly. I am in full support of a portion of my tax dollars going to fund these retreat locations. It's definitely better than paying for this. Who's with me?

My friend Jodi had a baby on July 4. He's a firecracker! He weighed 5lbs at birth and is the tiniest human I can remember holding. His mouth is delightful and he is too adorable. I just want to gobble him up. Jodi had some complications after his birth and is doing better now. I was watching her boys last Friday when her husband showed up at the back door with tears in his eyes and said that Jodi needed to see me right away. I raced around to the front of the house, thinking it was the baby. But it was her that had something wrong. I was relieved! Sorry, Jodi! I love you too but was just so happy Nolan was ok. Jodi is doing better. All is well! Hooray!

Our stake dissolved one of our wards due to the fact that attendance is so low. The economy here is so bad and people are moving out looking for better prospects elsewhere. Our ward is getting new families and I am really excited about it. I can't wait to meet everyone!

Go eat this. Now.

Chris went camping with the Boy Scouts from church last weekend. One of the leaders put the keys to another leader's truck in his pocket. Then he swam in Lake Michigan. And was pushed off his raft a zillion times and covered a lot of territory on the beach full of people. Everyone got back to the truck and the keys were gone. You knew I was going to say that, right? So they looked everywhere. No keys. So they said a prayer. Chris and five boys stood on the beach and walked out into the water in a straight line. Did I mention its Lake Michigan? I looked it up. Lake Michigan has 1.2993182339658045 quadrillion gallons of water. They walked a little ways out and then one of the boys steps on something. The keys. Unbelievable. Don't tell me prayer doesn't work. I won't believe you.

When you control the mail, you control information.

2011-07-12T23:41:00.006-04:00

I used to love to write letters and get letters. I had an expanding file folder with letters and cards that I wanted to send. I spent lots of money at Hallmark picking out cards that said the exactly right thing I wanted. I bought stamps by the roll. I wrote to my aunts. I wrote to my best friend and her brother in Michigan. I wrote to kids I met at smart camp. I wrote to my grandma. After I went to BYU, I wrote to Anna and my dad. After I got married, I wrote to the lady who was so nice to me at the temple when I got sealed to Chris. After I moved to Toledo, I wrote to my friends in East Lansing. I wrote to everyone.

And I loved to get mail. The mailman used to be my favorite person in the whole world. I loved him and the wonderful letters he brought to me from people all over the place. Was it a love letter or a cute card from my Aunt Mary or just a nice note from my friend Nancy? I would wait all day for the mail. First thing I did when I got home from anywhere was check the mail.

I'm ashamed to say that the internet and email and Facebook ruined me for letters. I haven't written a letter in months. I think the last letter I sent was to my grandma before she died and I had to borrow a stamp from my MIL in order to send it. I have no idea when I bought a stamp last. Why take the time to write a letter out by hand when I can just type a few lines out?

Lately I've noticed that I need to send more letters. My sister is a good letter writer, tho she too uses email alot, she still takes the time to keep in touch with people that are important to her. I need to be more like that. So many of my friends have moved away. I miss them so much and I need to take the time to say hi and find out how they are doing. Today in the mail we got a letter from Chris' cousin, Jay, who is fighting in Iraq. He took the time from fighting a war to send us a letter. I feel really ashamed that I have let this go.

So get ready. Get ready for mail from Jennifer Vos. Cuz it's coming to your computer and your mailbox and your phone inbox. It's headed to you wherever you are...

They were women who idolized their children..and esteemed it a holy privilege to efface themselves as individuals and grow wings as ministering angels

2011-06-15T19:46:00.004-04:00

When I was a senior in high school, I really loved my English Lit teacher. She was young and newly married and funny and interesting. I pretty much listened to everything she said and took it as gospel. One time she told us about going to the grocery store and watching a mom push her baby in the shopping cart and singing the "ABC's" out loud to try and keep the baby happy. Mrs. Rode told us she would never do that when she had kids and that we should be careful to never lose our identities in our children. I think it had to do with the book "The Awakening." I was right there with her. Wrote it down in my notebook: "Never lose your identity to your children."

And I thought about it today as a pushed a cart with three small children through Randazzo's singing rather loudly, "Lucy Lucy bo Bucy banana fana fo fucy fee fie mo mucy...LUCY! Let's do Genny..."

That was interesting music, Marty.

2011-06-13T10:47:00.005-04:00

Chris' 39th birthday was last Wednesday and we celebrated in a very unique way.

Lately he's been getting into a genre of music called trance. He's always really liked electronic music. Trance is a sub genre of electronic. Usually it has no words. Being a fan of techno and dance music, it's ok. I prefer words in songs. And breaks. Trance has no breaks. So he finds out that his favorite trance dj's are playing at a club in Detroit on his birthday. It's a sign. He gets tickets and I freak out a little.

I have not been dancing at a club in 17 years and 100 pounds ago. I used to love going dancing. Ladies night at the Palace in Provo. Seriously did not leave the Modern Room ever. The Bay in Salt Lake City. Loved it. East Lansing was a little trickier. Lots more drinking and unsavory-ness going on. I tried out some place kinda by El Azteco. I can't remember the name. So Chris wants me to go dancing now...I had serious reservations. The last dancing I've done was at Lizzie's dance party in the basement to "California Gurls."

What am I going to wear? I'm pretty sure I couldn't wear crocs and a t-shirt. I still have the black Girbaud jeans that I used to rock in. I remember buying them with a roommate at BYU and when I tried them on she said, "Your butt looks hot." Of course I bought them. It's been a long time since anyone (other than Chris and he has to say it) has told me that my butt looks hot. I consulted several friends on what to wear and came up with something.

We arrive at the club and seriously at first it was like a church dance. Everyone was hugging the walls. I guess they had to let the alcohol take effect. The owner of the club wanted to buy us drinks because it was Chris' birthday. We talked with her at the bar for a bit. She was shocked and I'm talking "YOU DON'T EAT NO MEAT??" shocked when we told her we don't drink alcohol. What the heck are we doing there then? Seriously hook up speakers in the living room and dance for free. She gave us our Sprites and we sip on them. Chris was super excited. He really loves the music. Pretty soon people are dancing. More and more people come and it's really crowded. It was like trying to fit my whole ward in my living room. Girls are walking around with some kind of glowing drinks in test tubes. There's bottles of vodka with some kind of sparklers on them. I don't know. It was crazy.

Chris danced the whole time. He loved it! The DJ's that he wanted to see are called Above and Beyond. I danced a little. I liked it. I wish I could have sat down somewhere. There were no seats unless you purchased a booth and in order to purchase a booth, you had to purchase an entire bottle of alcohol for $275. Some of the bottles were $1000. I'm not kidding. It was a nice club. Not that I am a qualified judge. It just seemed nice.

We stayed until 2AM. I was dead tired. It was fun and I'm glad that Chris had a great time and loved it. I'm glad I'm married and happy and don't have to go out and do that every weekend.
Happy birthday, Chris! I'm glad we got to go do something so fun for your day!

Remember what your parents said, James... Try looking at it another way!

2011-05-27T12:43:00.003-04:00

Has anyone read the book "James and the Giant Peach?" It's one of my favorites. Remember the part where James is given the back of green, squiggly crocodile tongues and told that they are magic and he starts running with the bag and (if memory serves) he trips and rips the bag and the little green squiggly things fall all over the ground and they start to disappear into the ground and James is frantically trying to get them back but it's too late and pretty soon they are all gone. I remember that part. I remember feeling so sad for James who tried so hard to catch the magic but it was gone.

I feel like James trying to catch those squiggly green things.

My babies are growing up so fast. Emily is almost 16. She wants to drive and talks about college. My older boys are modest about dressing in front of me. They like privacy now. Cameron is starting Kindergarten in the fall. Genny took her first step on Tuesday. I don't want this magical time to be gone.

I am frantically trying to keep up with them. I am pleased and proud with every new step they take yet I become a bit sad too as they move from stage to stage and progress. I am amazed by how these two opposing feelings can both be present within my heart. Grieving over what I am losing and yet delight with what is gained.

James didn't know when he dropped that bag that something wonderful and magical was about to happen in his life. I can't see it yet either. But I know it's there.

"Well and what are you three dears up to? Up to? Up to? Up to?"

2011-05-18T12:50:00.004-04:00

What we've been up to...

Emily received her Patriarchal Blessing last month. It was a wonderful experience hearing the words of the patriarch meant just for her in her life. I'm such a proud mom. She's swimming four days a week for the Bulldog Aquatic Club. It's hard work. She went to Mormon Prom with some friends and had a super great time. And she looked super beautiful. She wore one of Anna's formal dresses from high school. It looked amazing on her.
9

Christopher swam for West this season. He did great and now he is running on the track team. Running isn't his favorite sport, but he's doing it to get in shape for football season which is fast approaching. So far this school year he's played football, wrestled, swam and done track. What an athlete!

Calvin is playing baseball for the first time. We are finding out that he is super fast. I asked him if he liked baseball as much as football and he stole a look at Dad and whispered, "Maybe." He must really love baseball!

After 3 years of struggling with reading, we have finally discovered the root of Spencer's problem. He has several defects in his eyes. He sees 20/20 but his tracking and convergence are not right. We have had preliminary tests run on him and he goes for further testing and therapy at the end of the month. The therapy should really fix the problem that he has. I am so grateful to a observant teacher and reading specialist for figuring this out.

Cameron, Lizzie and Genny are usually just along for the ride. In the mornings, we do chores together. Ok...Mom does chores and they make more messes. Then we play and watch TV and go to the park and have fun.

We had a very nice Easter spent at Chris' mom's house. On Easter Sunday, I really wanted a nice picture of all the kids in their nice clothes. On the way home from church, I spotted a forsythia bush in an out of the way location and I pulled over because I wanted to take their photo in front of it. Chris and I drove separate that morning and I didn't have my cell phone for some reason so we sat on the side of the road and waited for Chris to drive by and then we would honk and hopefully he would pull over. My plan worked, even though he thought we were a little crazy honking and waving our arms at him. We got the kids out to take the picture and then I realized that Lizzie had been given chocolate candy in nursery for Easter and she decided to be a good sister and share it with Genny. Genny loved the treat very much. It was her first taste of chocolate. She had it all over her face, dress, hair...everywhere. And I was out of wipes. I told Calvin to lick her off. He gave me a weird face but did it. She was mostly clean except for the dress. It doesn't really show too bad in the photos.

My day gets so busy around 2:15. I have to pick up preschoolers and high schoolers and get them home. I drive girls to swimming. I have kids coming home at various times on the bus. I have to pick up from track and go to track meets and baseball games and wherever else. I spend alot of time in the car after 2:15. Usually I don't mind. Some days, it really gets to me. I love Tuesday because there is no preschool and Emily gets a ride to and from swimming. I don't usually have to leave the house until 5:00 to pick up Christopher from track. Tuesday is my favorite day. I love going to playgroup with the babies (Cam, Liz and Gen are the babies) on Thursday. I've noticed lately that I don't fit in to any particular group of women. I'm not just a mom of older kids. I'm not just a toddler mom. I have a wide variety of ages in my house and I don't feel like there are many women out there who are having similar experiences as I am. If they are, I'd like to hear about them!!

I've read some good books lately that I can recommend. Anything by Gary D. Schmidt. "Okay For Now," was my favorite. I read, "The Hunger Games," and loved it and the subsequent books in the series. I don't recommend, "The Stand," by Stephen King. And I don't know if I recommend, "The Handmaids Tale" by Margaret Atwood. It was weird.

We have done some moving of kids and offices in our house. Chris had his office in the basement toy room. I laugh even typing that sentence. You can imagine how much work he got done in the toy room office. Not too much. We toyed with many solutions but finally decided to move his office to his mother's basement where his dad used to have an office. It worked perfectly. All his stuff went over there and he has a nice, quiet place to work and think.

When he took his stuff out of the toy room, we put up an Expedit. This is the boys dresser now with bins for all of their clothes. Chris and I installed a closet bar for their shirts. It's a great walk in closet/toy room. The bunk beds have been ordered and as soon as we get them up, we will disassemble their room upstairs. They will have a nice little mancave in the basement complete with TV, Wii, Xbox and leather reclining couch. They have a bathroom, too. It's a great set up for them. Emily will be moving into their old bedroom on the first floor. We need to paint it and repair some wall dings first. Lizzie is going to have Emily's old room and Genny will be on her own too. All the girls get their own rooms. This really gave us more life out of our tiny little house. If and when we have another baby, we have space for him/her now too. That is not an announcement!!

Anna and I are going to plant our garden this week. She's been growing seeds in her house for a month and they need to go into the ground!

This is reading like a traditional Christmas letter. Sorry about that. Just wanted to keep my faithful readers informed on our lives.

It's my porcelain Udder Buddy

2011-05-10T10:41:00.004-04:00

My house has cut-out hearts and I don't care.

I'm confessing it to the world.

Any of you who have been to my house already know it but I need the rest of the world to know.

Why the need for this confession? A few years ago, I went to a RS conference and took a decorating class. The teacher, who was extremely well-meaning, had a list of decorating don'ts. I'm fairly certain that my house broke each rule. It was an eye-opening experience for me. It was the first time that I realized that my house decorations are out-of-date. I started to feel really mad at the teacher. And terribly embarrassed by what was in my house.

I came home from the event and walked around my house. I looked from one wooden shelf with cut-out hearts (Don't #1) to another. I looked at hunter green and country blue (Don't). I looked at out-dated rafia (don't) and needlepoint and hats and wreaths. And I felt bad about my stuff.

I decided I would make some decorating changes. I started with my bathroom. In the bathroom for decorations, I have a hat hanging on the wall. I have some painted hearts hanging on two ribbons, one gray and one blue. And a tiny wooden shelf with a blue heart on it. I took down the hat. And the hearts. And the shelf.

I put the stuff on my bed and went back into the bathroom. I tried to imagine what else I could put on the walls in place of the things I had taken down. I stared at my treasures hastily tossed on the bed. I felt the tears welling in my eyes and I hurried to lovingly place my things back where they belonged. The hat, made by Anna at Girl Scouts, given to me as a gift from my sweet sister. It had to go back up. The painted hearts hanging on two ribbons. I chose the ribbons for my mom. She bought the hearts somewhere. Probably ordered them from a Home Interiors catalog because when she got them she was too weak to go out. She sent me to the store with my dad and told me to pick out a ribbon to go with the hearts. Something that would go with the blue in the hearts but also the gray of the bathroom trim. I stood in the store in front of the ribbons for a long time. I didn't know which color to buy. So I bought blue and gray. I took them to her and she declared them perfect and put them together with the hearts and hung them on the bathroom wall. The shelf was made by my grandpa and painted by hand by my aunts. Taking these things down, for me, was like taking the people they represented right out of my life.

The things on my walls and in my home represent love. The needlepoint design on my wall that my mom did. Her fingers touched that thread. Part of her is in that picture. The picture cut out from the Ensign of Emma Smith playing with her children that Chris gave to me because he said it reminded him of me with our children. It's framed and hanging over my desk reminding me of the good that I do each day. The artwork that my children and my sister have done over the years is placed around. A shelf full of Wades collected for me by my dad. Framed art from Carol, each picture she chose has special meaning for me. Hansen Statues and Willow Tree mothers (headed and headless) mingle with dollar store "Mom" plaques. Things I had in my room as a child, things from our first apartment, things that were my grandmother's...I could go on and on.

In my mind I am walking around each room in my home and I am seeing everything I have as decoration and everything has a special meaning for me. Taking it down is like taking down a piece of me. And to what end? So my house is updated? I don't care. It's my house. It's my home where I want to sit and feel the safety and love it affords me each day.

So come on over and look at my stuff. I welcome you with open arms. And cut-out hearts.

I'm bored. She's boring, I'm boring, we're both boring. We got out to eat, we both read newspapers

2011-04-12T11:39:00.002-04:00

I don't know why I haven't been in the mood to blog lately. Maybe it's just too much going on and I am not making time to do it. Then when stuff happens, I let days or weeks go by and it feels too overwhelming to do all the catch-up work.

Here's some things that have happened that I should have reported:

The New Beginnings program that I planned back in January went really well. I was pleased with the turnout of girls attending and with how strongly the Spirit could be felt that night. And I'm glad it's done.

Christopher turned 13 in February. Emily turned 15 in March and Calvin turned 11 last Sunday. We now have two teenagers in the family. Emily has been asking to talk drivers ed. I pretend not to hear her.

I planned a YW activity last month incorporating the game of Clue and Personal Progress. This activity was fun to plan and I think the girls had fun too. It was too short for the night, though. I should have had other stuff planned too.

I just remembered why I haven't been blogging. All the stuff I think of to say is really boring.

Society has rules and the first rule is: You go to college. You wanna have a happy and successful life, you go to college.

2011-03-28T10:28:00.006-04:00

Emily is giving me a lot of grief for giving BYU fans a lot of grief over their sad loss in the NCAA basketball tournament. She keeps telling me I don't like the Lord's school and calls me a hater, etc... I really can't defend myself because it's true. I didn't have a great experience at BYU. Sometimes I tend to blame the school itself even though it was really my own fault.

I'm writing this post to help her understand why I didn't love it there.

I had a difficult time deciding where to attend college. I applied to and was accepted at four universities. They were all at least two hours from home. I was so nervous about leaving my dad and my sister all alone. I really wanted to give BYU a try because my mom told me that she really wanted me to go there. My stake president told me not to worry, that the ward would step up and take care of my family. (And they did in such an incredible way, but that's another post.) So, I prayed about going to BYU and I really did feel like it was where I was supposed to go. My dad was very disappointed in my decision and I don't really know exactly why. But he did not lend me any support after I made my decision. I'm not talking financially. I mean he distanced himself from me in a way that was extremely painful. I had a great friend take me to BYU after I was accepted and tour it. I remember my dad was so upset that I was going just for a visit. He wouldn't look at the pictures I took after I got home. I have felt like since that decision, I have never done anything to make him proud of me. (Again, probably an entire additional post.)

So while most kids had parents who were taking the reigns and helping their kids with financial aid and housing and choosing classes, I had no one but me. I didn't fill out the financial aid stuff right. I didn't choose wisely on my housing decision. All of you BYU grads are going to think this was my biggest mistake: I lived off campus my freshman year. I can hear you all going, "Yep, that's it." I choose extremely difficult classes for my first semester. Stuff like Honors Advanced Chemistry and Honors Advanced Calculus. I was a smart girl but didn't know that the first semester is for figuring things in life out and spreading your wings a little and having fun.

I left my house in Toledo for BYU on August 2, 1993, with my little Chevette crammed full and a dear friend by my side. A sister in the ward volunteered to caravan with me to Utah. Again, I had terrible disappointment that my dad wouldn't go with me. I know he had MS and that it was hard for him to travel but deep-down I think he really could have done it if he had wanted to. I saw him do incredible things when he wanted to. I cried myself from my house to the Indiana-Illinois border. Looking back, I just can't believe I left them-my poor dad and sister. It feels like a horrible, cruel thing I did.

I lost the sister from the ward that I was following outside of Chicago. Stacy and I were on our own-an 18 year old and a 17 year old-in the middle of the country. We drove ourselves from Chicago to Lincoln, Nebraska. In a car that would repeatedly overheat. And without cellphones or GPS or anything like that. If that was Emily, I would be beside myself. I would have police helicopters finding her. National Guard would be called in.

Anyways, I got to BYU on August 4. I found a job at the MTC in the cafeteria. I hated it so much and quit and found another job at Krystal Kreations in the University Mall. That was better. I lived at Roman Garden's Apartments. I moved my stuff in, knowing no one. We had three bedrooms. Two of them had girls in them that were friends with each other. They met living on campus their freshman year. (I know, I know...) The other room had one girl who was not a student. She was old...like 22. She taught me some very interesting ways to disobey the law of chastity while still being "technically" a virgin. It was awful. I will never forget my first night there, on the top bunk, crying myself to sleep. But I thought things would soon get better because I had orientation things coming up and then I would meet people.

I went to the orientation things but all the kids had friends from their on-campus buildings. I was extra. I didn't feel any guidance. No one was there to help me figure out stuff. I had to do it on my own and I was not well equipped for it. When I talked to my dad, I would try to be excited about the things I was experiencing. Here's how conversations would go: "I was studying in the Lee Library and it's huge, Dad. It's really incredible." Him: "The library at MSU is the largest and greatest library on any campus on the planet." I know now that I was depressed and trying anything to make myself feel better. This included spending way too much time dancing at The Palace and The Bay in the modern room and too little time studying. And spending way too much money on things to cheer me up and not being wise in the use of my resources.

I was floundering.

I had one friend and I told him how unhappy I was and what should I do? He suggested we fast together and maybe that would help. Such a good friend. So we did. We fasted and I remember sitting on the grass with him outside the library after fasting and we shared a turkey sandwich and I felt better. I hadn't decided what to do, but I felt better. This friend had an aunt who lived really close to me and I walked to her house one day just to talk. I needed someone to talk to who could help me. She was kind and wise. It was so nice to be in a home. I hated my apartment. I hated the stupid guys all around like sharks sizing girls up. I hated not feeling like I belonged anywhere. I hated being lonely. I failed at being away from home.

I decided to go home. I re-applied and was accepted to MSU. I secured an apartment at the LDS Living Center there. I felt happy. I felt like this was going to be a good thing for me.

I left BYU on December 16, 1993. Good riddance, I said. I left Utah having made one friend. The best memories I have of being there are of food I ate. I haven't been back since I left almost 20 years ago.

I moved into the Living Center right after January 1, 1994. I made friends right away. I met my future husband on the first Sunday I attended the university ward there. The rest is history.

I vowed to help Anna when she applied to school and be supportive no matter where she chose to go to school. I helped her fill out her forms and made sure she had everything right. She chose MSU too. But I didn't pressure her in any way. She was just a really smart girl.

I don't really hate BYU. What I hate are the bad, sad memories that my experience left me with. Those four months were pretty awful for me so in my mind BYU is synonymous with a bad, disappointing experience. What I hate is that so many LDS people feel like it is the only valid option for LDS youth. And it's not. Just thinking quickly, I can name 16 couples that I know who met each other at the ELSLC and were married in the temple and are still married today. It's a wonderful place. I want my kids to know that they can go anywhere...MSU, OSU, Schoolcraft, even BYU (But not U of M. I couldn't stomach that one.) and they can be happy and successful. I will do my best to help them. And if they get 1600 miles away from home and have given it a good shot and hate it, I will go get them and help them find another place that fits them better. That's probably not a love and logic mom, is it? But its what I would do.

The only recourse I have to use against BYU is to root against their sports teams. It's just a little thing and probably a little petty but it works for me. This post has been extremely therapeutic for me. I feel much better.

Jerry, it was a whirlwind. They whisked us backstage, the media is sworming, champagne is flowing...whooo! I can't describe how great it is to win.

2011-03-24T09:58:00.003-04:00

Last Thursday, we held the 2nd Annual Mom's Academy Awards.

We had some good food and good conversation. We played a couple of "mom" themed games. We watched a fun "mom" video and then handed out the coveted 2011 Golden Goblet Awards.

I hope that everyone who attended felt uplifted and had their decision to be a mom reaffirmed as the best decision they ever made.

Here's the list of the winners:

1. Most compassionate mom—Rachelle Beer

2. Most musical mom—Bethany Swalberg
3. Most athletic mom—Rachel Clawson
4. Fashion Plate Mom—Esther Rogers (2 time winner)
5. Most patient mom—Ramona Bertrand
6. Renaissance Mom (Great at everything)—Mari Noble
7. Beauty Queen Mom—Teresa Strum
8. Best Juggler (I mean her schedule)—Sue Barfuss
9. Best seamstress/crafty mom—Anna Onofrio
10. Mom that always greets everyone with her beautiful smile—Kimberlee Jensen
11. Most out of the box mom—Cathy Sullivan

12. Most organized mom—Teresa Murphy and Buffie Christensen
13. Mom most often found taxiing kids—Jennifer Vos
14. Mom with the best sense of humor—Melissa Farnsworth
15. Greenest Mom—Becky Soubeyrand

16. Newest Mom--Nettie
17. Most Plugged in mom—Patti Banka

18. Saavy Shopper mom—Becca Winder

19. Mom Happiest to Volunteer—Lisa Nielsen

22. Most punctual Mom—Angie Gardner

Oh, hey, you know...I had a piece of whitefish over at Barney Greengrass the other day...

2011-03-18T10:43:00.006-04:00

On Saturday, Chris and I were ~~arguing about~~ discussing our Pack and Play. It is a brand new purchase and I really love it. It came with a little changing station and a bassinet and a hood. It has giraffe fabric on it and little giraffes that hang down. I really love giraffes. We needed it because Genny shares a room with Lizzie and sleeps in a Pack and Play in her room and then also in one in our room for naps. The one in her room was a freebie and I really wanted another one so that I didn't have to constantly take it down and put it back up during the day. (Why hasn't someone invented one that can go through doorways?) So we got this little giraffe one for our room. Chris sees all the extras, the bassinet, changing station, etc...as annoyances that we don't really need for this baby. His thought is, basically she's just sleeping in there so lets get rid of the stuff. And by rid he means toss in the trash. Let me repeat that. He wants to toss the brand new accessories to a brand new Pack and Play in the TRASH.

Ok...so I'm a little upset. You don't just toss stuff like that in the trash. I don't care how much you don't want to store it. You find a corner and store it. It's brand flipping new! But things are about to get a whole lot worse because then he says to me:

"Who even knows if we will have another baby and will ever need it again."

My heart stopped and my tear ducts opened and sobs escaped my lips.

What if I don't have another baby?

There is a certain feeling that can only be caused by one thing. It happens when the nurse puts a bloody, squirmy, red, squealing baby on your chest. You've just spent hours bringing this creature into the world and now it's here and you reach for it with your arms that are so tired and you feel it's little soft head and you look into it's eyes and it is yours. That moment, that feeling cannot be recreated, replicated or manufactured. It is eternal...it is what I imagine heaven will feel like all the time.

So what if I never get to feel this feeling again in this lifetime? What if there are no more babies for me? I think there are. I want there to be. I want a Mitchell and a Maggie and a Grayson. Or maybe a Jeremy and a Suzie and a Sarah. I don't want to be done with my babies yet. I have a feeling that this might be something I am going to struggle with for the next several years.

I had a discussion with a seasoned mom about knowing when your family is complete. I don't "know" yet. I'm not ready for it to be complete.

Chris statement really brought it to the forefront of my mind and I can't stop thinking about it. I wish I could put it away for a while. Maybe in a bag in the corner of the attic and keep it there with the parts to the Pack and Play. Yes, he finally agreed that they could stay.

Random Thoughts by Jennifer Vos

2011-02-25T13:48:00.005-05:00

The game "Axis and Allies" is truly the hardest and most ridiculous game ever. I am a smart person and I cannot understand the BOOK of instructions. I don't know why Santa thought this would be a good gift for our family. Not only is it impossible, but it comes with a billion parts that could get lost or stepped on or eaten. I wish I could take a class on how to play it.

"Mommy, guess what this owl does?"
"I don't know, you tell me."
"No, you have to guess."
"Um...flies?"
"No, guess again."
"I have no idea."
"GUESS!"
"Eats?"
"NO! Mommy, guess right!"
"I really don't know."
"Ok, I'll whisper it into your ear."
What I hear in my ear: "spit...spit...spit some more...spit...a little bit more spit."
"Mommy, what did I say?"
Crap.
"Um...Spit?"
"NO!!"
"Ok..."
This conversation goes on for infinity.

Yesterday, I woke up with a bump on my index finger near the knuckle and my finger was quite swollen. It hurt all day and bothered me. Finally, at bedtime, I googled pictures of "swollen finger bite bump." Big mistake. I could not sleep after looking at all the pictures of wolf spiders, recluse spiders and their horrible bites. I pulled the covers over my head and tried to sleep. This morning my finger is even more swollen and it hurts very much. I really don't know what to do. Could it be a bite? I didn't injure it. I am concerned.

I really like my kids' friends.

Our 16th wedding anniversary was on Wednesday. Hooray for us! Tonight we are going to Toledo to stay over at a hotel and go to some of our favorite places there. Thanks to Anna for staying with our kids. I'm really excited!

It bugs me when I hear a song on the radio that I really like and I'm singing along and maybe dancing a little and thinking how cool and hip I am and then I realize that the song is almost 20 years old and I am old and unhip.

Yesterday during the nightly kitchen clean-up, something got lodged in the garbage disposal. The disposal came to a grinding halt. My job is always the disposal unclogger. After a 10 minute hunt for the unclogging tool, I tried to turn the thing to unclog it but it won't turn. So then I realize that the thing clogging it is one of my new measuring spoons. It's a really nice one. Unlodging this spoon is going to require Chris' help. We work on the disposal together and somehow the entire disposal unhooks itself and ends up on the floor under the sink. Kerplunk. Dirty, stinky food water is all over the bottom of the cabinet. Ugh. We work on this spoon, finally unlodging it. It's bent to heck. So then we get the disposal hooked back up like its supposed to. Clean up all the water. Hooray. I don't know why this story seemed better before I typed it out.

Yesterday, Spencer went to a friend's house. I wasn't home when he left. He couldn't find his tennis shoes when he left, so he grabbed the closest pair he could find. They were a brand new pair of shoes that Grammy bought for Calvin but they were two sizes too big for Calvin. They still have a giant tag on them. So Spencer wore out in public a pair of shoes that are fives sizes too big for him and have a tag on them. Not just a little tag, the store display tag. Sometimes I'm surprised child protective services doesn't show up and take all the kids away.

If you iron your sheets, I can no longer be your friend.

We just tease someone 'til she develops and eating disorder

2011-02-16T11:32:00.003-05:00

I went to an all girl's high school that I loved loved loved. My senior year, the school had an agreement with one of our brother schools that some of their boys could come to our school and take an art class. I hated those boys. They would stand outside the art room and call out mean things to the girls walking by. I altered my route so I wouldn't have to walk past them. They were awful. It made me so mad! I loved my safe school where you might get teased by girls but never the yucky way that boys do it. I hated that they were there and taunting us. So....I wrote a letter. I wrote a letter to the editor of our newspaper outlining the reasons why these boys shouldn't be allowed to come and take the art class.

Apparently the principal at our brother school read the paper. He didn't like my article so well and I got called to our principal to explain. Seriously, I should not be in trouble! The teacher over the paper should be in trouble for allowing my letter in there if it was going to be so inflamatory. I didn't really get in trouble; just admonished to bring up complaints to the main office.

So it's over, right? Not quite.

Emily was hoping to get a Flower-gram at school on Valentine's Day. She didn't care who from. She just wanted one.

It reminded me that we had flower-grams and candy-grams at high school too. We could send them to friends at our school and boys at our brother schools. Valentine's Day my senior year I got a whole ton of candy grams from boys at one school. I was shocked! I had no boyfriend there. Who could they be from? And then I started to read them.

They were awful, horrible letters calling me a lesbian and worse because of my article in our newspaper. I just wanted to cry. It really hurt.

Now it was over.

Emily got three flower-grams on Valentine's Day and not the kind that hurt.

Happy Valentine's Day to all my sweethearts and even to those thoughtless Frannies who hurt my heart so long ago.

It's a wonderful time to live, it's a wonderful time to grow...

2011-01-10T12:01:00.004-05:00

I was released from my calling back in November and called to be the ward Personal Progress leader. I have been going to Young Women now for about a month and I am loving it. This is not the first time I served in Young Women. I was a young women myself once. A long time ago and I'm sure I gave more than one leader grey hairs with my drama and neediness. Then when Chris and I were first married, I served in the stake YW presidency. That was fun except that you don't interact with the girls really, mostly just the leaders. We did do one really fun activity that I have never seen another stake do. It was a Mother/Daughter overnight. We went to a cabin somewhere. It was fun. The best thing was I was 9 months pregnant with Christopher and I had to dance in long, footie pajamas to some song with the other adult leaders. One of them started swinging me around and around. My water broke the next day.

I served in the stake YW again when we lived in Toledo. That was my very favorite calling ever. Not because of the work, but the women I got to serve with were IN.CRED.I.BLE. Karen Eckel. Stephanie Southam. Suzanne Wadsworth. Karma Terry. Great, awesome, wonderful women who I would serve with in any calling, anywhere, any time.

When we first moved to Plymouth, I got to serve as an advisor and a counselor and that was my first taste of actually working with the girls. Those girls are now 21-23. Unbelievable. You know my first love is Primary, but being with the YW is really fun. They get jokes and are so dramatic and silly and just fun. I am really liking it.

I've been working on planning New Beginnings. The theme I came up with is "Now is a Great Time to be a Young Woman." I've got the program done and am really excited to see if everything works like it should. The only thing I have to worry about is if the girls will follow through and actually do the parts of the program that they are assigned to. I think that is probably going to be the most frustrating part of YW for me. Letting go of control and letting girls take over even when I know they aren't going to do the kind of job I would do. Wow...that sounded really snotty. You know what I mean, right?

But you know the best part of my calling? It's being with Emily and Anna every Sunday. They are my favorites.

'Tis the season to be merry.

2010-12-26T17:32:00.007-05:00

Emily is ready for the chili-mac!!

Things I loved about Christmas this year:

1. Caroling at the nursing home. There was this one old lady. When I saw her, I just knew she would love to see Genny. I took Genny over by her and the lady took my hand and smiled so big. She laughed at Genny. I put Genny on the ground in her bucket right next to the lady and while we were singing, the lady tickled Genny's feet. Genny gave her the cutest smiles. Finally, I took Genny out and held her on the lady's lap. The lady held my hand and told me that Genny is the cutest baby ever. It was the sweetest thing. I'm so glad we did it.

2. The children's reaction to their gifts. They seemed to really love everything. I'm so glad when they are happy.

Calvin just noticed the xbox 360!

Lucy likes her camera!

3. Lizzie dancing with Pa playing the harmonica.

4. Making cookies with my sister. Cooking snacks with my sister. Eating chili-mac with my sister. Picking out Wixey's danishes with my sister. Hugging my sister. Talking to my sister. If it involved my sister, I liked it.

5. The mimosas that Chris made for Christmas breakfast.

6. Playing The Game of Things with Jodi and kids. Best game ever! Lots of poop! And a little pinworm.

7. When we were leaving Carol's and I just knew that she shouldn't be alone and we left Calvin to stay with her and distract her a little from her heartache.

8. The video that Emily made.

9. Eating Wixey's danishes Christmas morning.

10. Shrimp

Merry Christmas everyone!!

It's a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club. Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving

2010-12-16T10:06:00.003-05:00

So no mailed Christmas cards again this year. I still wrote the letter though. Enjoy!

December 2010

Merry Christmas to you, our dear friends and family! We have had a busy year and are so excited to be receiving your news and sharing ours. We so look forward to everyone’s Christmas news. Here’s our rundown:

Emily is in the 9^th grade but her teachers tell us that she is reading at the level of an average 50 year old. She plays concert piano every week at local nursing homes to lift the spirits of the residents there. She was recently contacted by the USA Olympic swimming team and is so talented she gets to bypass any kind of tryouts. Look for her in London in 2012! Emily never wastes time watching TV or with Facebook. Instead, she spends her time volunteering at local soup kitchens and knitting hats for unhatted babies in foreign countries. We love Emily so much and her bright smile is so bright that it is brighter than the noonday sun.

Christopher is in the 7^th grade. He was awarded the “Best Student in our School” Award last semester. He gets A++ in every class and will be teaching next semester instead of learning. He has wrestled every available wrestler in the area and simply cannot be pinned. We are currently in negotiations with the WWE for him to become the youngest wrestler ever. Christopher abhors the Wii and all computer games. Instead he would prefer working in the garden, washing the car or writing in his journal. He will be performing on his Bass at the National Theater in Washington DC over the Fourth of July holiday next year. He became an Eagle Scout earlier than was thought humanly possible.

Calvin is in 5^th grade and is the youngest person ever to be recruited by Ohio State’s football team. He will probably skip high school completely and go directly to college where he will be on the varsity football, basketball, ice hockey, track and baseball teams. Calvin is a very serious young man who loves to write poetry and was contacted by President Obama to write a poem to be read at his inauguration in 2013. Too bad that’s not going to happen. Calvin prefers playing with his baby sisters to being with his friends and can often be seen having a lovely tea party with them. After homework and his nightly 1000 push-up and sit-ups are complete, of course.

Spencer is in the 1^st grade and he lost all of his teeth this year and they all grew back in within a week. His doctor said he is a miracle of modern orthodontia. Spencer keeps his room so clean that we eat off the floor in there every night. His classmates love him so much that they bow in his presence and spread rose petals on the floor for him to walk on. In addition to all of this, Spencer will be awarded the Nobel Prize for Mathematics next year.

Cameron goes to preschool where he has mastered crafts, blocks, magnets, stories, gym and snack. He is the best student they have ever seen at Tiny Tots! Cameron loves to help me do the laundry and can often be seen begging to hang shirts and match socks. Cameron has learned to tame wild animals and often I will find a chipmunk or squirrel nestled next to him on his pillow at night. What a dear!

Lizzie is 2 and has been contacted by Baby Gap to be the face on their new ad campaign. So in addition to her already rigorous competitive gymnastics schedule and her traveling dance troupe, we now can add modeling to her schedule. Lizzie started playing the tuba last year. She just picked it up one day and we were all amazed! Lizzie has the most beautiful hair that we suspect that Pantene will begin calling any day needing a new hair model. Be on the lookout for her sweet face everywhere.

Genny was born in June. She was born reciting the ABCs and had all the Articles of Faith memorized before she was four weeks old. Genny started eating solid foods at two weeks. She was also born potty trained! What a blessing! Genny has never cried. She uses her words to tell us when she is hungry or tired. She is literally an angel sent from heaven. We are planning on starting her on piano lessons next month. She loves to sit at the piano and play Emily’s music. I think she’s ready to start.

Chris has had a rather eventful year. Not only did he complete one of his life goals of reaching the summit of Mt. Everest but he also ran in a marathon every month. Chris makes so much money it is absolutely ridiculous. We just don’t know what to do with all of it. He stopped speaking in regular sentences this year and now will only quote scripture to communicate. In Chinese. He was elected president of the local Rotary Club, Lions Club, Civitan Club and Optimist Club. He re-sodded our entire lawn this summer, build an addition on our home, taught all the local children to ride two-wheelers and reads for the blind twice a week.

Jennifer has a cleaning lady that comes daily to make sure her house is always clean and organized. In addition, she drops off her van for a daily detail while she shops and gets a massage. Jennifer pays her nanny really well and that’s why she has so much time for the hair salon, mall and volunteering. She is room mom for every child including the older ones. The schools said they didn’t really need room mom’s in high school and middle school, but Jennifer is proving them wrong. Jennifer’s scrapbooks are so up to date that she has already scrapbooked the future. Jennifer bakes her own bread with the wheat she grows and never serves her children anything artificial or store bought. She prays daily that any future pregnancy will bring twins. She lives a storybook life.

We have a pet dog, Nala. We love her so much. She recently won the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. And rescued a family of 6 from fire.

Our house is just full of love and never a cross word is spoken. Share our joy with a visit this year!

Merry Christmas from the Vos Family! Chris, Jennifer, Emily, Christopher, Calvin, Spencer, Cameron, Lizzie and Genny

So self-absorbed and egotistical, it's like those hip musicians with their complicated shoes!

2010-11-24T11:56:00.004-05:00

It's a good football weekend. The Plymouth Wildcats are playing in the Michigan high school state championship game at Ford Field on Saturday. Chris and the kids are going and are looking forward to whooping Lake Orion. Go 'cats!

Michigan State is playing Penn State at Penn State. I'm hoping for another Spartan win.

Wisconsin is playing Northwestern. I know it's a long shot, but I'm hoping for Wisconsin to fall.

The most exciting game this weekend will be Ohio State v. Michigan. The are playing at the Horseshoe in Columbus.

I am feeling terribly conflicted.

I hate Michigan.

But I haven't always felt that way. I once was a Michigan fan. I used to wear the Maize and Blue. I learned the fight song on the piano, recorder, clarinet, bass clarinet and electric saxophone. I went to a OSU/UM game wearing the Maize and Blue with OSU fans sitting in the OSU section cheering for UofM. I almost was killed. I was die hard.

And then I visited a little place on the Red Cedar River. A place that bleeds green and white. A place I call home. A place that sets couches on fire when they lose games. Or win them. Aaahhhhh yes...Spartan Country.

There's nothing like Michigan State. I love it. I love every inch of it. I hope all my kids go there. I wish I had a diploma from there. I'm looking at Chris' on the wall right now and pretending it's mine.

So growing up I hated OSU with a passion. I hated them. And now, I continue to dislike them alot. However, my son Calvin, loves them. He chose to be their fan because he was born in Ohio and he feels he shares a connection with them. He is also a lot like me and my dad and has to pick something to like to be different from the pack. We are all State fans--bun us--he's going to like OSU. My dad, while he also loathed OSU, would have secretly loved Calvin's affinity for them. Me too.

So I've been rooting with Calvin for OSU this season. Luckily, they didn't play State this season. Next year we will crush them.

But now they are playing U of M. Under normal circumstances, I root for everyone who plays Michigan. But if OSU falls and Wisconsin falls and State wins then we will be better positioned for a bowl game.

Can you see my dilemma? Will my hatred for U of M win out over my love for State? I don't know the answer yet. Right now I'm saying "Go State!" And "Go Bucks?"

mmmmmmm donuts...

2010-11-23T10:00:00.002-05:00

I love a good donut. Always have. I really like a lemon filled with the powdered sugar outside.

But Krispy Kreme...those are good donuts. I remember the first time I ate one. We went to South Carolina on vacation with Chris' family. All the way down, Jeff and Jamie were talking about Krispy Kreme donuts and how wonderful they were. I kept thinking..."It's a donut. Get over it."

And then I ate one.

Have you had a fresh, warm Krispy Kreme donut?

It is aurora borealis in your mouth.

I ate a lot of donuts that week. It seems like there's a Krispy Kreme on every corner in Myrtle Beach. And they flash that "Hot Donuts Now" sign. It's like the batman symbol for fatties.

Imagine my delight when they built a Krispy Kreme store in Toledo just minutes from my home. The line was out the door on Saturday morning. That place was always busy.

And then it vanished. Now I can only get Krispy Kremes from the corner gas station and they aren't hot and they aren't aurora borealis in my mouth. Where did all the stores go?

I wish I had a hot donut now.

And, then we're going to slaughter 'em. And, after the slaughter is over, we're gonna come back here and ring that victory bell.

2010-11-16T06:02:00.005-05:00

Calvin's football coach wrote and article about him and another boy on his team that don't play in Sunday games. Here's a copy for all to enjoy. It's the article on the far right, titled "Dedication and Commitment." I am so proud of him.

Poor Pinkus, poor little Pinkus.

2010-11-12T12:31:00.002-05:00

On Tuesday, I ran some errands with my mother in law. I took her clothes into the dry cleaner for her. I had to give her phone number so the dry cleaner could look up the account and after he found it he said, "Hi, Carol." I said hi back without correcting the name.

I immediately remembered going to the dry cleaner for my dad when I was young.

We had to go the the cleaners every Saturday. We drove 6.22 miles every Saturday morning to my dad's favorite cleaners, Adams Laundry and Cleaners. There was a perfectly good One Hour Martinizing about 5 blocks from my house and why we never used it, I'll never know.

I always put the laundry under my dad's name, Blair Ballard. Pretty soon, one of the guys that worked there started calling me "Blair." He thought I was Blair Ballard. I could have been. Blair is a gender neutral name. And I was too embarrassed and silly to correct him. So I was Blair Ballard to the Adams Laundry and Cleaners for several years.

One time, one of my dad's friends went to pick up my dad's laundry. He gave the name "Blair Ballard" and the guy working there wanted to know how SHE was doing. My dad's friend blew my cover and told him that I was Blair's daughter named, Jennifer. The next time I went to the cleaners and every time after, the guy always said (with great enthusiasm), "Hi, JENNIFER!" Made me feel so stupid.

I wonder how long it will take OK-Cleaners to figure out that I'm Jennifer and not Carol.

Yes, you can. Rub some unicorn oil into it. Whoever hopes to marry the Prince must be perfect.

2010-11-08T06:21:00.000-05:00

"Wherefore, be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you; succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees."

My hands hang down and I am ashamed.

They hang down because I can't seem to do everything perfectly and I get discouraged.

They hang down because I set goals for myself that I don't attain and I get discouraged.

They hang down because I am bombarded with messages all the time that I'm not good and I get discouraged.

I hear

You're too fat. You're late. You're messy. You're disorganized. You slept too late. Your dinner isn't healthy. You went to bed too late. Your sheets are dirty. Your laundry isn't put away. Your hair is ugly and needs to be cut. Your house is ugly and has too many cut-out hearts. You have shoes by the front door and someone is tracking in leaves. It smells weird in here. The baseboards are dirty. Someone wrote in crayon on the door...wall...bed. Your dog is bad. Your kids are loud. And disobedient. And unappreciative. Your Family Home Evening is not focusing on the talks from General Conference. Your scripture study was not meaningful. You are not trying hard enough. You need to be a better example. You need to invite a friend. You need to watch what you say. I want to watch a show. Put on a show for me! I want to eat McDonalds. Get McDonald's for me! Get me a treat! I forgot my money, parka, shoes, books, project, food, card...stop what you are doing and bring it to me right now. That area we just cleaned is messy again because you didn't keep it from getting messy. There is no room in here. The baby is crying. Feed the baby! Family Home Evening didn't happen this week. I'm not going to have it ready for you. You can't have the one you want. Your mom is dead. There's too many car seats in this car. I don't know where it is. I can't find it. Your account is overdrawn. He hit me, kicked me, yelled at me. I'm not going to do that. Your lawn needs to be mowed. Your garden was a miserable failure. You're not attractive. Stop texting! Your son can't read. Your daughter has a messy face. And her nails aren't trimmed. And her shoes are one size too big. Where's your coat? You are a bad driver. If you forget the take the pill, you WILL get pregnant again. Your books are overdue. That cupcake has a lot of unnecessary calories. I drank your last coke. You have HOW MANY children? You're done now, right? We always, always, always use a hot pad.

Every word I hear is like a brick being thrown on my shoulders. I picture my hands flopping on the ground. Hanging as low as they can go.

BUT...

I don't want any help.

I don't even want anyone to lift them up.

Isn't that weird? Because if someone helps and lifts them up that makes me feel worse. Then I feel even more worthless. It confirms my inability to take care of myself and my family. Yet I probably need someone to lift them.

Satan has really figured out how to get me. Just plant a seed of doubt about my abilities in my brain and I'm cooked. I focus on that doubt for days, weeks, months. I get down and discouraged. I flounder around doing not much of anything worth anything. I can't figure out why I can't hear the good stuff. I must be doing some good stuff. Why are the negative messages so much louder than the positive?

I don't need my hands lifted up. I need a kick in the butt.

My visiting teachers visited and ~~kicked me in the butt~~ reminded me to refocus my priorities. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Elder Uchtdorf's talk from General Conference has been knocking around in my brain for two weeks. At first I got mad at his talk.

Imagine telling me to cut back! What the heck can I cut back??? In order to cut back, I'd have to get rid of a child.

But then as I've been thinking about it...I don't really need to cut back. I need to do more. I need to do more of the big rocks. The essentials of life that will get me back to Heavenly Father and help me lift up my hands.

I need more temple worship.

I need more meaningful prayer.

I need more feasting on the word and less nibbling.

I need to put these big rocks in every day. Then maybe as the stresses of life hit, I'll be better prepared to handle them.

I heard a really great talk last night about this very thing. Heavenly Father seems to be telling me that life is a process. A continual process that probably isn't going to end for a really long time and so suck it up and do a little better each day and it's going to be ok.

So what should I do now?

I'm going I've decided to make a list of everything I need to do and figure out each thing's priority in my life.

That's my first step. I'm going to take this one step at a time. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Don't you know what happens on Halloween?

2010-11-02T12:26:00.003-04:00

Parties

Pumpkins

Yummy dinners

Trick or Treating

That's what happens on Halloween!

This year we had a silly girl band member, Mark Dantonio, Jim Tressel, Mario, Luigi, Abby Cadabby and Elmo join us for the fun.

My favorite house to go to is on Woodland Place. They give out hot dogs and warm cider. Awesome!

Happy Halloween to all!

I love Lucy!

2010-11-02T12:22:00.003-04:00

Lucy turned 3 on Halloween. I love living so close to her and being a part of her life. She is so bright and funny. I find delight in every moment I spend with her.

Happy Birthday, Goofy Lucy!

Iris Myandowski is a hand-walking queer!

2010-10-20T12:06:00.002-04:00

Does she know that I'm sorry for when I wouldn't ride home with her on my first day of first grade? I wanted to ride the bus home and she came to pick me up. I told her to go home. Does she know I'm sorry?

Does she know I'm sorry for every time I complained about having to clean the basement with her?

Does she know I'm sorry for dropping my library book in the sink full of water? I was reading it while I was doing the dishes. She had to pay for it.

Does she know I'm sorry for lying to my dad?

Does she know I'm sorry for the times I was mean to my sister? I didn't know she was going to be my best friend someday.

Does she know I'm sorry for the time I made her so mad at me that she bit me on the hand? Why did I push her to the point of being so angry? What was wrong with me?

Does she know I was wrong when I told her I wasn't going to get married and have kids? I told her that I was going to be a brain surgeon career woman and not end up in (my exact words) "out of date, ugly clothes with a mom-hairstyle."

Does she know I'm sorry for embarrassing her by telling one of my aunts that I thought she and all my aunts and cousins were red-neck hicks?

Does she know I'm sorry for not waving at her when I walked to school? I was so mad. I should have turned and waved but I didn't.

Does she know I'm sorry for the time I embarrassed her in front of Joe Vetter? I'm not going to say what I did. It's still pretty embarrassing. I'm really sorry. Does she know?

Has she forgiven me for every thoughtless comment and missed opportunity?

Does she know that I am currently living the best life ever as a mom in out of date, ugly clothes with a mom hairstyle? Does she know that my sister is my best friend and I love my aunts and cousins so much? Does she know that I am trying to raise my kids as well as she raised me? Does she know that I think about her almost every minute of every day and am trying to live up to the example she set for me?

Does she know I love her and miss her so much it takes my breath away?

I hope she does.

Happy Birthday!

2010-10-15T07:28:00.003-04:00

My sweet Lizzie turned two last week. It's hard to believe she's two!

Some words that describe her are: little, snuggly, obedient, curious, loving, blonde.

Lizzie likes to play with her babies.

Lizzie doesn't like to have to take a nap.

Lizzie likes to eat snacks.

Lizzie doesn't like to eat peas or beans or anything green.

Lizzie likes her binkie and a soft piece of fabric for bed time.

Lizzie doesn't like putting pants on.

Lizzie likes to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle, little Star," "Itsy bitsy Spider" and "Jesus wants Me for a Sunbeam."

Lizzie doesn't like being put in the car to run errands.

Lizzie likes to play "Ring Around the Rosie."

Lizzie doesn't like being wrapped in a blanket by her brothers and then tickled to death.

I like everything about Lizzie.

Weekly Top Five 10/4/2010

2010-10-04T07:40:00.002-04:00

Top Five Things I Like About October

1. Children's Primary program at church

2. Oktoberfest

3. Cider and Donuts

4. Trick or Treat!

5. Fuzzy, warm baby pajamas

Give Away

2010-10-02T20:05:00.001-04:00

Don't we all love a giveaway?

Free stuff?!

Free stuff is good.

Free good stuff?!

Good stuff that's free is even better!

Which is why we're giving away a super cute nursing cover,

3 coordinating burp cloths, and a coordinating tote bag!

These genuine mama-made burp cloths are made out of 100% cotton fabric and a 70/30 poly-cotton microfiber that is naturally antibacterial, super-absorbant, and very soft!

This super-stylish mama-made nursing cover slips over a nursing mama's head easily with an adjustable strap. Boning in the neckline makes eye contact with baby a breeze.

No longer nursing? No problem! This would make a very sweet baby gift (and you don't even have to wrap it- just put everything in the tote).

You have 4 chances to win:

1. Follow Sew Many Mamas.

2. "Like" us on Facebook.

3. Repost our give-away on your blog and leave us a link in your comment.

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Random Thoughts by Jennifer Vos

2010-09-29T15:50:00.004-04:00

How can you cancel a tv show after just two episodes?

Around 2:15pm my chest starts to feel tight. My head feels like it is ready to explode.

If I had three wishes right this second, I would wish for our house to be complaint free, thicker skin and that I could never lose anything.

I need three more wishes.

A house keeper, one meeeeellion dollars and a wardrobe entire made of clothing by Sigrid Olsen who is currently no longer designing clothes but I would wish her out of retirement.

Is that technically four more wishes?

I need some cider and donuts from Parmenters. Really fresh ones. Not the old hard ones that are on my counter. I also need a Coke. I wish that all the fountain pops here were like in Provo. Caffeine free. That's all I wish that was like Provo here. Except for fry sauce. And Sconecutter. But I think, technically, Sconecutter was in Orem. But that's it.

How many wishes am I up to now? 7?

If Jon Stewart ever quits television, I am too.

Not really.

Come visit me in the snack shack on Saturday. Bring me valium. Or anything you may have that is stronger. And doesn't transfer through breastmilk.

It's conference weekend. Big breakfast. Conference bingo. Hip Hip Hooray! Oh yea, and the only living prophet on the earth today will counsel us. Just a small detail I forgot.

Genny peed in my bed this morning. I still haven't changed the sheets. I'll know if Chris has read this by tonight if he asks be about it before he gets into bed.

Calvin has a project due tomorrow to display his family tree. We are supposed to work on it as a family which I think is teacher code for, "Mom does it." I found a cool picture of a tree and mounted it on posterboard. I printed out pictures of ancestors to glue on tree. We are writing names and details by the pictures. I think it will be cool. I talked to Calvin about it last night. He said a girl in class turned hers in already. Its a real tree with faces hanging from the branches. Its really cool, he says. I'm ready to disembowel myself. Chris whispers to me, "She's an only child." Sometimes he knows the exactly right thing to say.

Sometimes I'm pretty sure my children don't think of me as a real person.

Sometimes I'm pretty sure I'm really stupid.

Weekly Top Five 9/27/10

2010-09-27T10:48:00.001-04:00

It's back.

Top Five Famous People I Would like to Be Friends With

1. Mother Teresa

2. Oprah

3. Dane Cook

4. Katie Holmes

5. Nienie

Zoinks!

2010-09-21T07:45:00.005-04:00

So, I don't even know where to start.

Kids are back in school. I have five kids in four schools. Emily is a freshman. She is loving it and I am so glad. Her school consists of three high school buildings on 500 acres. The total student population is over 5,000. I went to her open house and was not loving walking between the buildings between classes. She gets 10 minutes "passing time." I was the only parent with a baby with me. What's up with that? Emily died of embarrassment when I told her that I nursed the baby during math class. She said her teacher is going to mark her down now. If anything, I think she would get a higher grade. At least out of sympathy for having such a kooky mom and krazy family. My Emily's mornings consist of trying to make it to Seminary on time and fighting with the kids to get the front seat in the van. My Her afternoons consist of trying to make it to swimming on time and yelling at everyone when we don't. She is doing a great job with swimming and her team has won all their meets so far. Way to go, Wildcats! Emily is supposed to take the bus home, but she cannot make it all the way from the far west end of Plymouth to the Salem bus loop before the bus leaves. I was picking her up every day at 2:15 and interrupting naps and getting very annoyed. A friend and I devised a carpool for that and I am not so annoyed any longer.

Christopher is in middle school with no other Vos' there ~~to torment~~ for support. I didn't make it to his open house because
~~I am a bad mom~~ I didn't have anyone to watch the four babies I would have had to take with me that night. Four babies is just too much to take to an open house. His mornings consist of getting to Orchestra on time and being happy he is the first one in the van and gets to choose his seat. His afternoons consist of complaining that he doesn't get to go to Grammy's house and FOOTBALL.

Calvin and Spencer are in elementary school. Spencer is learning how to ride the bus and how to eat lunch at school. He leaves each morning repeating the lunch choice over and over so he doesn't forget it. "Chicken sticks and mashed potatoes, chicken sticks and mashed potatoes..." Their mornings consist of hurrying to eat their chocolate cheerios and make the bus. Their afternoons consist of FOOTBALL.

Cameron is going to preschool. He seems to really enjoy it, although the only details I've gotten from him so far are that he does nothing there and the school has a gym in the basement. He is lucky to have three church friends going with him to his same class. He spends his mornings trying to figure out how to get fruit snacks out of the bin on top of the fridge and his afternoons sleeping in the van.

Lizzie and Genny are along for the ride. We go to the park sometimes and play. Sometimes Lizzie and I play outside while Cam is gone and Genny is sleeping. Lizzie and Genny spend alot of time in the van, as well.

As for me, I'm great. I get up at ~~5:55 to holler to Emily that she is going to be late for Seminary and then run around the house finding her missing sock and shirt~~ 5:30 to see Emily off to Seminary. I get CV up at 6 and we leave to pick up the Seminary kids at 6:40. I come home ~~and fall back asleep until 8:30 when I frantically race around getting Spencer and Calvin out the door~~ and do laundry and dishes until it's time to get up Spencer and Calvin. I get them on the bus and then Lizzie and Cam are ready for breakfast. Somewhere in between all these comings and goings, Genny usually eats once or twice.

Some days I can stay home all day. Like today. I don't have to go anywhere until it's time to take Emily to swimming and the boys to football. I get to ~~watch TV all day and order pizza and drink coke and read books and eat chocolate and play Plants vs. Zombies~~ catch up on cleaning and laundry.

I am in charge of the ~~volunteer job from hell~~ snack shack again this year. I've spent a fair amount of time shopping for food and the like. Our first game was this past Saturday. We did a great job in the shack and sold $2300 worth of non-organic walking tacos and other tasty treats. We did have a couple of crazy moments like when the grill caught fire. Repeatedly. And when some of the Styrofoam cups had holes in them and coffee and hot cocoa went all over the floor. And any time Seth came in the building. Other than that, tho, it was great. The boys did a great job on the field. Spencer and Calvin's teams both won. Christopher's wasn't so lucky. The team they played was bigger and faster and just tougher than they were. I didn't get to see much of the games but I did take a break for a second to watch Christopher snap the football. I couldn't have been prouder of him. It brought tears to my eyes.

Some random notes:

We held our 2nd Annual Outdoor Movie Night. Tony made an awesome screen! It was so great. We watched "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" outside on the coldest night of the summer. It was super fun.

Jodi and I had our annual chocolate party that ~~celebrates~~ mourns the loss of our children for 6-7 hours a day. We had some really yummies like homemade fudge, fondue and fruit, chocolate lava cake, chocolate trifle, Irish coffee cheesecake and something else really yummy with a crust, chocolate and apricots. It was delish.

The Entertainment Weekly Fall TV Preview arrived. I love it. Fall TV season is here!

I ate my first Parmenters donut on Saturday.

You should try Ichiban Japanese Steakhouse on Ford Road. Yummy.

Fall Festival was a little lame this year. What's up with that? CV won a fish which ~~thankfully~~ sadly died in two days.

Unlove-ed?

2010-09-16T07:18:00.002-04:00

Jennifer
Daughter of Blair and Gloria
Wife of Chris
Mother of Emily, Christopher, Calvin, Spencer, Cameron, Lizzie and Genny
Had a super hard busy day yesterday
Got up at 5:30
Went too many places
None of them were for me
Nursed the baby in four different parking lots
Had to go to Open House with three babies
Met the teachers
Found Calvin's desk
Read his bio-poem
"I want less brothers and sisters and more money"
Left the school blinking back the tears stinging my eyes
My life's work to nurture and love seems to be for naught
Finally fell into bed at 11:45
Feeling like a failure
Vos

Settle Down

2010-08-31T10:22:00.005-04:00

Settle down.

My dad used to say this to me all the time. Not in a mean, angry way. But in a calming, kind parent way. Usually I was in a panic or sobbing or ranting and he would look at me in a soothing way and say, "Settle down." He always knew that whatever it was that I was in a tither about was going to be okay. After the "settle down," we would talk and his words always made me feel better.

I can remember crying about something when I was very little and he said this to me while sitting on my bed. I can still see the sun coming through my Holly Hobbie curtains and sitting with my dad and knowing that he loved me and whatever I was upset about was going to be ok.

I remember sitting in the library parking lot with him crying over a boy that broke my heart. He said those words, "Settle down." It was going to be alright. There would be other boys.

I remember holding onto him after Mom died and sharing tears with him. Crying so hard that no sound was coming out. But, Dad could make it better.

The last time I remember him saying these words to me was when he was in the hospital and I was upset about it. I was very pregnant and worried and he simply said, "Settle down." And I did.

I realized recently that I say the same thing to my children when they get worried or upset. They come to me with their fears, so giant in their tiny little lives, yet so small in the grand scheme. What if they don't like their teacher? What if they aren't good at swimming on the Varsity team? What if they get tackled really hard at football? What if they get yelled at for forgetting their scout book? What if there's nothing good to eat? What if they lost their DSi? What if they need new school clothes? What if we have to clean the house and go to piano and football and pick up the big coat? What if we're late? What if their foot, chest, finger, back, *insert body part here* hurts?

And first I say, "Settle down."

And then I listen and try to solve.

Usually it works. They calm down and we talk and resolve the issue.

I imagine that Heavenly Father is the same. I come to Him with my fears looming so large in my life, yet tiny in eternal perspective. I cry and stomp and sob. I tell Him that I can't see how this problem is going to possibly work out. I make quite a production.

Yet He knows all and he can see the resolutions to all my worries. And He simply and quietly tells me, "Settle down. All is well. "

And He's right. Every time.

Did you see "Alien"? When the creature was in that guy's stomach? It feels like that. Freshman

2010-08-29T03:27:00.000-04:00

My baby girl is starting high school in 10 days, 15 hours, 33 minutes and 57...56...55. Not that I'm thinking about it at all. Maybe just a smidge.

She went to school today for Freshman Orientation. She found out her schedule, got some books, got her picture taken. She said it was fun and she ate lunch with her swimming friends. Yay for swimming friends!

She had several outfits picked out to wear. I shouldn't call them outfits...I think that would make her gag. She had several really cool shirts picked out to choose between. In the car going somewhere yesterday, she asked me what I wore for my freshman picture day. I told her my uniform and a John Lennon pin that said "Give Peace a Chance." She made a face and thought the pin was really dumb. Why did I wear a pin?

I explained about the old St. Ursula uniform. Try to imagine this. It could be any fabric you wanted. Anything. I had a red one with bears, I had plaid, I had one with frogs...I can't remember the rest. It was a dress, three pleats in front, three in back, long sleeves and knee length, matching belt around the waist. If that wasn't hideous enough, we wore a white detachable collar with a pin that connected the two sides. It could be any pin as long as it wasn't offensive. When I googled "old st. ursula toledo uniform," no pictures of the uniform came up. This one did however, which I thought was HI-larious.

I had to scan my freshman yearbook to get these beauties. I had also forgotten that we could wear a matching sweater over our uniform. We were a collective hot mess.

Here's me in my monstrosity complete with ugly hair and cool John Lennon pin. Why did someone not tell me to wax my eyebrows?? I'm holding all the women in the Toledo 1st Ward responsible for not giving me this tip. I look like a Yeti.

The next year, we got much better uniforms. Traditional pleated shirt, oxford shirts and blazers. I loved wearing uniforms and I wish my kids wore them now.

I don't know if my John Lennon pin story wore off on Emily because she wore her Abbey Road t-shirt and Beatles hoodie. You can't really tell it's Beatles-wear but it is. She thinks the picture looks stupid. Honey, you think you look stupid?? Take a look at my beautiful mug two inches up. You are gorgeous.

Two most important tips for first day of Freshman Year:

1. Wear enough deodorant. I didn't and I felt like I stunk all day long.

2. Go to the correct classes. If you end up going to the wrong Biology class that is full of Sophomores, they will laugh at you and you will feel stupid.

I'm out there Jerry and I'm loving every minute of it!

2010-08-28T00:57:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago, I was at Steeler practice with Cameron. He had an accident on the track. A #2 accident. The only toilets available there are porta-potties. Ugh. I go over with him to the facilities armed with tons of baby wipes. I started to clean him up but the underwear was impossible so I just tossed it in the gaping toilet hole. He had to go commando for a few hours during practice. No harm done, I figured.

On Wednesday, we went to practice again and he was running around the track. This time, no accident, but he wanted to go to the bathroom. I didn't want to go into the potty with him cuz it smells so bad so I stood outside armed with wipes to disinfect him when he got done. He came out and got cleaned up and looked at me and said, matter-of-factly, "I threw my underwear away." I was floored. I guess he thinks that standard procedure in a porta-potty is to throw your underwear away.

I'm still laughing about it.

Well, now, guess what, this is happening.

2010-08-27T13:00:00.000-04:00

My mom died on August 4, 1990. It's a painful day for me to get through. I don't know why it is so hard because I think about her on all the other 364 days of the year too. It's not really any different. It just feels different.

I have a good friend who has commemorated her death in some way every year since our friendship started. One year she gave me a lilac bush which is thriving in our yard. She usually gives me flowers. It is very sweet. I have known this friend for only about 8 years which isn't terribly long but she's the kind of friend where it feels like we've been friends forever. I knew I wanted to be her friend when we were rehearsing a skit for our church group in which about ten women sang "I Feel Pretty," in shower caps and bathrobes. She and I laughed and laughed about it. It was really funny. I knew I wanted to be her best friend when we went to see "Anchorman" together and my head almost burst from the pain of laughing so hard with her.

She and I almost share the same brain. We say the same things. We think the same way. We laugh at the same stuff. Sometimes we think we were separated at birth because we are so much alike.

Our friendship struggled several years ago. We had some issues and some fights. I had never fought with a girlfriend except one other time in high school when I yelled at Marybeth Bauer to stop acting like my mom. I don't know how to fight...I don't like conflict especially when I can't see how there can possibly be a comfortable resolution. So I run.

I ran from this friend. I sent her an email the day before her 30th birthday...a week before August 4th. An email that said I couldn't be her friend right now but maybe someday in the future we could be friends again. Goodbye.

And then I cried. She was such an important part of my life and I cut her out just like that.

She still sent me flowers on that August 4th. She remembered that it's the hardest day for me.

And then life started to go on. I would think about her all the time and wonder how she was and if she made new friends. I looked for her everywhere...the spray park, Kroger, Target, Maya's. She was never there. I had a new baby and hoped and prayed that she would walk through the hospital door with a hug for me and my new little one. I dreamt about her all the time. I would wake up so disappointed because we weren't friends in my real life.

August 4th approached again. The hardest day for me of the year. And in the afternoon, the doorbell rang. It was the flowers from my friend. She signed the wrong name on the card because she wasn't sure I would want flowers from her but I knew the handwriting. The flowers were yellow because she knows it's my favorite color. My heart was bursting with sadness at missing my mom and yet this gesture from this friend at this moment had a great healing effect. The pain I felt was diminished that day.

I went to my computer almost immediately and sent her an email thanking her for the flowers and telling her how much I missed her. She sent one back and pretty much said the same things. She missed me too! She didn't hate me. I had been afraid that she did.

We continued to email for a few weeks and finally I got some courage. I dressed Lizzie in the outfit that my friend had given her before she was born and we headed to her house. I pulled in the driveway and my hands were shaking and my heart was pounding. I rang her bell and I heard her voice say, "Who is it?" I heard her son say, "It's Jennifer." I saw her come down the stairs and I could not contain the tears. She opened the door and opened her arms and I fell into them whispering, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I cried and then we sat on her porch and talked for a bit. She had to leave to go somewhere, but in those few moments we were together again, I knew it was going to be ok. I knew our friendship could be repaired and ultimately overcome our year of silence.

It took some time to iron out the issues that had led to me withdrawing my friendship. We worked through it and I am happy to say that she is my best friend again.

This year on August 4th, she gave me flowers. Yellow and white. She remembers that day and how painful it is for me.

This year on August 4th, I gave her flowers. I remember her gift of flowers a year ago that were the catalyst for bringing her back to me. It is our friendship anniversary of sorts.

I love that I have something joyful now to share on that day.

But at ten they start the aquasonics Thirty-five geriatrics throwing elbows. It was like I was swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine.

2010-08-26T18:07:00.002-04:00

Great news! Emily made the varsity swim team at Plymouth High School! I am so excited for her.
She's a great swimmer. She started when she was 7 swimming for clubs and has worked so hard to get where she is. I am just thrilled!

I can't wait until she gets her team suit and the "big coat." I found out that the "big coat" is actually called a "swim parka," but I am probably still going to call it the "big coat."

I had a lot of swimmer friends growing up and for some reason I was so jealous of that big coat. I just loved it. They would wear it before and after meets. I was so cool. So I keep telling Emily that while she's in school, I'm going to be going around the house wearing her big coat. She just rolls her eyes. Like it could even come close to fitting me.

Come out and see Emily swim in her meets. She's going to be great! Way to go, Emily!!

Please don't take my sunshine away.

2010-08-16T13:01:00.003-04:00

Summer Platte Party:

Saw Gwen and Amy and Jeremy...LOVE THEM!

Saw all aunts but one...LOVE THEM!

Kids played and played and played...LOVE IT!

Heard beautiful singing and guitar playing...LOVE IT!

Got homegrown sweet corn...LOVE IT!

My family is the best. It's filled with happy, positive, God-loving, caring, wonderful men and women...LOVE THEM ALL!

***Please pray for my cousin's baby, Brody Smith. He has leukemia. Visit his care page at www.carepages.com. Search for brodysmith.***

Because I'm REFRESHED. I finally found a way to sleep in my office. Under the desk. I lie on my back. I tuck in the chair. I'm invisible.

2010-08-14T14:33:00.003-04:00

My grandad took a nap every afternoon. He took it on the davenport, which is an old person's word for couch, with a red pillow and covered himself with a homemade afghan. You could almost set your watch by Grandad's nap. I didn't play in the den when Grandad was sleeping even though that's where the toys were at Grandma's house. Sometimes I would lay down with him. I'll bet he just loved that. He probably got the worst naps ever when I was there.

My grandad had a huge garden and grew everything. I was especially adept at helping him harvest strawberries, raspberries and blueberries. In the fall, I was good at relieving him of his concord grapes. He worked in the garden wearing a straw hat, navy work shorts and a t-shirt. He wore the hat because he was bald and the sun would burn the top of his head.

There was a pool at Grandad and Grandma's. It was a round, above ground pool. I wanted to swim in it all day, every day. Grandma would sit inside and crochet and watch me through the window. We used tire inner tubes as floats. They were great because they would rarely get a hole. You had to be careful though because the valve stem poked inward and you could get a bad scratch from them. Grandma would give me a handful of pennies and I would spend all day throwing them in and diving for them. The best was when Grandad would put on his swimsuit and swim with me. It was such a treat!

Grandad was a beekeeper. If a honey bee got into the pool, you carefully scooped it out and put it on the grass so it could fly away. You NEVER killed a honey bee! Grandad would wear his beekeeping suit sometimes when he worked with the hives. I can remember making honey in the basement at his house.

When I was little Grandad had a blue truck for his "work/junk" car. It was a Ford. I can remember tracing the letters F-O-R-D on the back gate. He had a really cool El Camino for his junk car too. I LOVED the El Camino. I wish we still had it. It was pretty awesome.

Off he rides, on his noble steed, a valiant figure, straight and tall! To wake his love with loves' first kiss! And prove that true love conquers all!

2010-08-04T21:14:00.005-04:00

When I was little, my favorite movie was Sleeping Beauty. I loved Aurora and her charming Prince Philip. I hoped someday I would grow up and marry someone brave and handsome like him.

Most of the time, my husband is every bit the charming Prince Philip. And that's quite a feat considering that I more resemble the evil Maleficent over Sleeping Beauty.

I fell in love with him on one of our first dates when he told me that he always wanted ten kids. A man who wants ten kids is a rarity. I've only met one other guy that wanted ten kids. I knew I couldn't let Chris get away when he shared this desire with me. I just loved him from that moment on.

When Chris was getting close to graduating from college, I was starting to dread his job search because it meant we might have to go far away. I didn't want to leave my family. I didn't talk to him at all about it because I was so nervous about what he might say. One day he comes to me and tells me he's decided to look for a job only in the Toledo area because he knows we'll be needed there by my dad and sister. I was relieved and so happy. I didn't think I could love him more that I did at that moment! We started sending out resumes. I think we sent well over 100 to every company in Toledo we could find. He had some interviews but no offers. We were both starting to get nervous. Here he was graduating with a wife and two children and has no prospect of income. Finally, he gets an interview with a radio station based on a recommendation of his boss at the Wharton Center who is friends with a manager at the station. He was offered a job and the same day we leased an apartment about 2 miles from my dad's house. It was divine intervention that brought us to Toledo. Two days before we were supposed to move, my dad had surgery on his bowel that caused him to have quite a long recovery in the hospital and nursing home. He was never the same after that and wasn't able to live at home with my sister. We were really needed there. Chris listened to the Spirit and put his potential career to the side to care for family. He's such a great guy.

He was a hero to me when he was able to recognize someone in need and struggling and rescue them from peril. Again, he listened to the whisperings of the Spirit and did as prompted.

Again and again, time after time, he has come to my aid. He has never had to fight dragons or Maleficent's Goons but he yells at mean neighbors for me and mean people on the phone. He tells the kids to stop fighting and be nice to me. He gets me out of jams and picks me up when I am falling down. There are times when I ask him for something that seems impossible for him to deliver on and I bug him about it and he says, "Have I ever let you down before?" And I think and think and I can't think of a time.

He's not perfect but he's perfect for me. And when it comes to the big stuff he is perfect. It's the big stuff that counts and he always delivers when it counts.

Genny Genny, You're the Girl For Me!

2010-07-09T12:20:00.006-04:00

The birth story. People have been asking so here it goes:

It was Monday morning (June 28) and I went for my regular appointment at the OB. Chris dragged me there. Lucky for me, both of the doctors were not in so I got to see the nurse practitioner. They hooked me up to the monitor for a while to see how baby was. Baby was great and I was having very mild contractions about 10 minutes apart. I didn't really think anything of it because I have a lot of false labor at the end of my pregnancies. We left the doctor's office planning on being induced the next morning.

I spent the day doing regular stuff. I went to the grocery store, did laundry, cleaned, etc... The contractions stayed with me getting a little stronger as time passed. My mother in law went with me late in the afternoon to pick out a new dishwasher (hooray!) and by that time, the contractions were quite a bit stronger. Chris researched the dishwashers online so I knew which one to get when we got to ABC Warehouse. I was so uncomfortable by this time, I could have cared less what features it had or what color it was. We got the dishwasher loaded in the van and a good friend came and installed it for us. By this time, Chris came home and I pretty much installed myself on the couch with a Coke while he took care of everything. I could tell he was getting panicked with each passing contraction because he kept thinking of last minute things he needed to take care of before we went to the hospital like paying bills and vacuuming. I think both of us expected the contractions to just stop like they had in my previous labors. But they didn't...they just kept on coming stronger and stronger.

Finally, around 11:30 I had Chris go get Anna so we could head to the hospital. The contractions were 3-5 minutes apart and strong enough that I could not talk through them. I found the coolest app for my Blackberry that kept track of them for me. We arrived at the hospital at 12:30 and they checked me. I was at 4 cm and had a bulging bag of water. So i thought they would break my water. By 4cm, that's what all my other midwives/doctors did. But not this hospital. If you admit in the middle of the night and water is not broken, they let you labor through the night and break water when your doctor gets there in the morning. I guess the delicate genius needs his sleep. :)

So I got my epidural and I labored. It wasn't so bad. I went from a 4 to 9 in 4 and a half hours. By 5am I felt like pushing. I also felt like the epidural wasn't as strong as it should have been, which was upsetting. They paged the doctor and, since it was middle of the night, it was a fill-in doctor. She ended up being really great. I had her and a midwife on staff at the hospital and two great nurses. The doctor finally broke my water, which was full of meconium. Started pushing and I could tell that it was not going to be good. It reminded me a lot of Calvin's birth in which I pushed for 2 hours and thought I was going to die. I was really scared I was going to have to go through that again. Then, her head turned in a more favorable position and I pushed twice really hard and she was out!!

There is nothing in the world like the sweet relief of pushing a baby out.

She had three knots in her cord, which the doctor said was very unusual and that it was a miracle that she was healthy. They took her and checked her for meconium aspiration. She did not aspirate it. It took a while for them to give her to me. I am used to being handed the baby right away on my belly. She weighed 9lbs and was 21 inches long. I nursed her for a bit. She had dark brown hair and a perfect little round head. Her ears weren't smooshed at all. Her little face looked just like her daddy's.

Then they took her away to the nursery for bath and other checking. This was also very unusual for me. Usually, they do this right in the room where I am. She was gone for several hours and I was getting impatient. I took a shower and ate breakfast but I wanted to have my baby! Finally they brought her into my room.

She had lots of visitors the first day: Jodi, Anna and kids, Grammy, Trish, Uncle Jeff...

Funny story: Anna brought all the kids up to see us Tuesday afternoon. She had mine minus Christopher plus Lucy, so six total. When she went to leave, Chris walked out with her to help and a desk lady told him, in a snotty tone, that only siblings can visit new babies. He said these are the baby's siblings. She looked at Anna holding Lizzie and said, even the little one? Her too, he replied, they are all mine. Love how proud he is of his kids.

We got to go home on Thursday. I missed all my babies so much and was so relieved to be home with them again.

Tomorrow Genny will be two weeks old. Where did the time go? I feel such a weird mixture of happiness, sadness, exhaustion, overwhelmedness, joy and loneliness. My emotions are taking me for quite a roller coaster ride. It is hard to explain and I'm hoping that it will pass soon and leave me with just the joy and happiness.

So I have 7 kids now. 7. It seems like a lot but also not quite enough. I love my little Genny and feel so happy snuggling her and playing with her little fingers and toes. Being a new mom again is wonderful.

I think I just upset the wake up guy.

2010-06-25T10:37:00.007-04:00

So what happened to me yesterday?

Yesterday I went to my normal doctor's appointment. My doctor checked my cervix and it had not changed since last week. He put me on the monitor and monitored the baby's heart for a while. Everything looked great he said. Lets have a baby today he said. Those were his exact words. He said he was sending me to the hospital to be induced. He said they would give me two pills to soften my cervix more and then start pitocin and then baby. He said the hospital can be sticklers about letting people in for induction so he wrote up an order for me on a prescription pad and said to tell them I was to be admitted for induction as soon as there was an open bed. He said this in front of Me, Chris and a nurse. The nurse hugged me and said congratulations and good luck. I asked the chance of me being sent home. He said no chance.

I was ecstatic.

We went home, got our bags, got Anna, got the kids all settled, said our goodbyes and see you soons.

We arrived at the hospital. The triage ladies were just like hostesses at a fancy restaurant. "Are you sure you belong here?" "Who sent you here?" "You aren't getting in." I started to worry. But they took me to a room and set me up on the monitor. Baby still looked great. A midwife checked my cervix. It hadn't changed. Still a 3 on outside and 1-2 on inside. Very long. Which the doctor knew when he sent me in. She left the room. She came back and said that she had consulted with the other doctor in my doctor's partnership and he was sending me home.

We asked to speak to my original doctor. He is unavailable. He went up north. He doesn't own a cell phone. A pager. He has dropped off the face of the earth.

New doctor tells me that he spoke with my original doctor and original doctor agrees I should be sent home.

I think new doctor is a liar. I don't think new doc talked to old doc at all.

Chris talks to new doctor. Chris is angry. Chris basically tells new doctor that he doesn't believe him. Chris demands to speak with original doctor. Chris is stonewalled. After much discussion during which new doctor does not listen to a word Chris is saying, finally new doctor says: "I have an office full of patients and I am hanging up now." And he hangs up. He hangs up on Chris. A professional doctor.

There's nothing we can do.

I start to cry. I get dressed. I'm pissed and sad and so upset.

They schedule me for induction on Tuesday morning at 7:45. I ask chances I could get sent home. There's still a chance.

They remind me to go to my regular doctor's appointment on Monday. In my head, I'm thinking, there's no chance and if Chris forgets about it, I'm not going. If I can feel Genny moving, I don't care what they have to say about it. What they say means nothing. They don't say what they mean. Or keep their word. They don't really care about patients. They care about insurance coverages, hospital policy and their precious schedule.

Last three labors for Jennifer Vos:

Dilated to 1-2. Unfavorable Cervix.
Induced on due date, one week over due, two weeks over due.
Induction takes a while to kick in. Takes 12-24 hours.
Finally get to a 4. Break water.
Go from 4-10 in about an hour.
Push 15 minutes.
Baby born.

My cervix isn't going to change in 4 days. What does it matter to them if they did it yesterday or Tuesday?

It mattered to me.

I've been on an emotional roller coaster for the past 3 months. To say that I am in a fragile state would be correct. I was ready. My kids were ready. The baby is ready. She is and don't even try to say for one second that she isn't or she knows best because she doesn't. My body doesn't work right at the end of pregnancy.

This doctor has met me once. I'll bet he didn't even read my history or care. I'll bet he doesn't know that I have had several big baby's with one breaking his shoulder during delivery. I'll bet he had tickets to something last night or reservations at some restaurant that he didn't want to mess up so he sent me home. Don't become an OB/GYN if you need your free time or like to have a schedule. You signed up for this.

Can I request that whatever staff doctor is on to deliver my baby so I don't have to see the other doctors? Because I really don't want either of them to deliver her now. I don't have any faith in them or their abilities. I don't think they care about me or my baby. Also, can I go somewhere else for my 6 week postpartum check up?

I'm not hard to get along with. I'm a nice person. I don't cause fights or problems when it's unwarranted. I'm not picky. I have had the same midwife care for me and deliver my last 3 children. If it weren't for an insurance change, I'd have them again. And I'd be happy.

Things could be different this time. My water could break. I could suddenly go into labor. I would LOVE that. But for now, I go Tuesday at 7:45am to be induced. But I'm not counting on it. I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm not going to take my bags into the hospital.

I'm having a really hard time smiling and saying everything is alright. Right now it just doesn't feel alright to me.

the delicate genius has a policy!

2010-06-19T09:52:00.001-04:00

On monday, I found out that the baby was still breech. I was scheduled for a c-section on Thursday. We went on Wednesday and made all the funeral arrangements based on a three day hospital stay. We arrived at the hospital on Thursday AM to find that she had turned head down.

Here's where Jennifer goes berzerk.

My cervix was a three and long. The doctor on call (my own doc not even there. Hate hate hate docs. Miss my midiwfe) says we can try the pills to ripen the cervix but it would take a long time and that's all they'll do for a "social induction."

Ok. I have a few issues with what she said. I tried to express them but they were falling on deaf ears. Of course the delicate genius knows so much about my labor and delivery since she's experienced the last SIX I've been through. I'm not an amature. I know what happens for me.

A. I have not gone into labor on my own with last 4 babies.
B. I don't consider wanting to have this baby so I can be guaranteed to be at my fil's funeral comforting my husband and children an induction for social reasons. Its not a party I'm missing. This is our life.
C. If I go overdue and have a 9lb 9oz baby that breaks his clavicle, I'm suing someone.
D. I've been induced from a completely closed, long unfavorable cervix. It turned out fine. They just didn't want to do it.
E. Don't tell me to trust my body. My body doesn't know what the heck its doing.

Can you tell I'm upset? I am really upset. Upset no one really listened to me and my feelings and fears. Upset that I may be sitting alone in a hospital on wednesday while my family grieves without me.

My faith is waning. I'm sorry.

Grandpa

2010-06-19T09:43:00.001-04:00

Its been a busy, crazy, emotional few days. Chris' dad got an infection that claimed his life. He died on wednesday afternoon. It was unexpected and expected at the same time. The children were shocked and miss Grandpa so much! We all are so concerned for Grammy and helping her through this hard time. Everyone has been so supportive and helpful. We've spent the last few days helping her with arrangements and flowers and food and all those little details that are so important. Grandpa, you are missed!

Happy Birthdays!

2010-06-08T17:41:00.006-04:00

I've got two special birthdays to celebrate today!

First, my little Cameron is 4 today. It's hard to believe that he was born four years ago. Seems like yesterday. My due date was June 2 and as I went overdue I was so worried about having him on June 6 because then his birthday would be 6-6-06 and then maybe he would be a devil child. Some days, I think he might just be. :) But most days he is sweet and lovable. He has grown so much this year. Here are some of his accomplishments: completing a year of preschool, potty training, learning to pedal his bike, putting on his shoes by himself, creating multitudes of Spore Creatures and helping put away the laundry. Good job, Cameron! I love you!

Second, today is my dearest, darling Christopher's 38th birthday. I couldn't ask for a better husband, friend, father, counselor, partner and sweetheart. I love him so much! He makes me laugh every day. He comforts me when I'm down. He's patient with me when I screw up. He puts up with all my quirks and failings. He makes me happy! Happy Birthday, Chris!

Oh, woo. Look at the time. I gotta get to bed. I still gotta brush my teeth, feed the hog, still got some homework to do, still got those bills to pay

2010-06-06T11:39:00.003-04:00

I taught Christopher how to mow the lawn on Friday. He was an eager student and did a really great job. He is hoping to gain some lawn mowing clients and earn money.

Mowing the lawn was my job since I was in the 4th grade. I HATED it. Our lawn was tiny but I still hated it. I remember when we bought our new lawn mower. I had really short hair and the salesman said that the mower would be perfect for me, "Right, Son?" I wanted to kick him.

I used to pray for rain so I wouldn't have to mow. I remember in the 7th grade, I'd be lined up in the bus line waiting for Mrs. Bauer to let us go and asking her if it was supposed to rain that afternoon. I think I asked her every day. Finally she quizzed me on why did I want it to rain so much. I told her and she gave me some "fun" tips on lawn mowing like mow patterns into it. The tips ended up being not really that fun.

When I got married, I knew I would never have to mow the lawn again. Mowing the lawn is the man's job. I think that since we've been married, I've done it maybe 5 times. Under protest, of course.

Now it's Christopher's turn to carry the mantle of "lawn mower" for the Vos house. Luckily for me, I've got 4 boys in a row that can hand down that mantle for the next 14 years. By then, maybe I can afford lawn service.

BABY PREP UPDATE: Cradle is in and cleaned! Garage is organized. Check one off my list and one off Chris'! Hooray for us! And I'm on AOGG book 3. I hated book 2. It was so boring. Can't believe I never noticed before.

There are a few provisos, a couple of quid pro quos

2010-05-29T12:21:00.003-04:00

A few updates to last post plus one addition.

1. I must purchase gifts for Genny to give to the children when they come to visit her in the hospital. In the past, the gifts have been Beanie Babies or Webkinz. I'm feeling a little silly giving a 14 and 12 year old stuffed animals. Yet this is just a small gesture. Nothing big. Any other ideas?

2. Anne of GG is off and running. I can't wait for book 6.

3. Baby girl clothes are washed and put away. So DONE!

4. I'm a few steps closer to new sandals. I'll keep you posted. I know you're waiting with baited breath.

I know I chatter on far too much... but if you only knew how many things I want to say and don't. Give me SOME credit.

2010-05-26T14:44:00.004-04:00

I have entered the pregnancy phase best known as the "Anne of Green Gables" phase.

I have 27 days until my due date and there are certain things that must be done before I can deliver this baby.

1. I must have a new outfit to bring the baby home in. Each of my babies have been brought home in their own new outfit. I have looked and looked and looked for something that I love. Today I found something that I like alot. I was lucky enough to be the recipient of a Von Maur gift card and so I went there and found a little one piece pink flowery outfit. It's sweet and perfect for a tiny new baby girl. Poor Anna had to endure my indecisiveness. Thanks for sticking it out with me! Also while at the mall I looked for a new pair of sandals. Nothing is as comfortable as Crocs. Nothing is priced as cheap as Crocs. Anna's like, "So just wear your Crocs." But I feel like such a loser in them. I need new sandals that are wide, comfy, brown, cute and under $40. Dream on, right?

2. I must read the 7 books in the Anne of Green Gables series. I have done this with each baby previous. I don't know why I have to do it, I just do.

3. I must find a body wash fragrance that I like. For each baby, I took a different body wash with me to the hospital and felt so awesome after that first shower with fresh jammies and good smelling skin. For Emily, I had "Eternity," Christopher was "Cucumber Melon," Calvin was "Freesia," Spencer was "Lauren," Cameron was "Sweet Pea," and Lizzie was "Clean Cotton." Any time I smell these scents, I remember each child as a newborn. I have been looking online at Bath and Body Works scents. Bummer that you can't smell them through the computer. I was lucky enough to go to the store today and find out that I really like Butterfly Flower. Now I just have to buy it.

4. I must pack my bag for the hospital. I'd like a new pair of jammies for me but I think I will have to make do with an old pair.

5. I must have all baby clothes washed and put away.

6. I must bring in the cradle and put clean sheets and blankets in it.

7. I must buy newborn diapers and binkies.

So those are my priorities for the next 27 days. I know Chris is reading this and going, "What about the regular laundry and cleaning? And organizing the laundry room and garage? And your office closet?"

I still do as much of it as I can. After Anne is done. :)

Well, you know what they say: if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!

2010-04-21T00:00:00.002-04:00

Twenty Seven of My Favorite Things About My Twenty Seven Year Old Sister

1. She only remembers the good.

2. She is forgiving.

3. She gave me the sweetest niece on the entire planet.

4. She will do anything for me.

5. She is the greatest cook and is always experimenting.

6. She fed me pears on my last birthday.

7. She doesn't scrapbook.

8. She isn't embarrassed to be herself around me.

9. She is so crafty which is not a trait I usually admire but she does it in such an endearing way that I admire it in her.

10. She has a strong testimony and is always striving to be better.

11. She loves my kids alot and treats them well.

12. She loves to play games and cards with me.

13. She is happy where she is. She blooms where she is planted.

14. She genuinely cares about the happiness of those around her.

15. She hates the phone as much as I do.

16. She worries about things and I find her worrying adorable.

17. She is such a good mother and is raising an adorable and wonderful daughter.

18. She is unselfish.

19. She has big feet.

20. She doesn't judge me.

21. She doesn't mind my messes.

22. She always greets me and leaves me with a hug and a kiss and an "I love you."

23. She always thanks me for the little things.

24. She will lend me anything even knowing there is a great possibility that I will lose it.

25. She laughs with me.

26. She cries with me.

27. I can tell her anything and know that she will only tell one other person. Her husband is a given.

Anna, I hope you have the happiest birthday!
Love you bunches and bunches!

Lemons and melons and pears, oh my!

2010-04-19T14:12:00.001-04:00

On Saturday, Anna and I went to see "Wicked" at the Stranahan Theater in Toledo. She gave me the tickets for my birthday in December and I have been looking forward to going to see it ever since. It was fantastic! I loved the sets, costumes, music...loved everything. I have looked up the schedule for the rest of the tour and it is coming to Kalamazoo in December. I already told Chris that I want to see it again for my birthday. I wish they would make a movie of it so I could have it and watch it over and over again. I especially loved being there with my wonderful sister. She's the best for getting such a wonderful gift for me. I love her!

In the midst of the wonderful event...I was missing a milestone in Emily's life...read on...

Love to! Love the bag, love the shoes, love everything. Love to!

2010-04-19T14:11:00.001-04:00

On Saturday, Emily went to the Mock Prom at the Bloomfield Hills Stake Center. This dance included kids from four stakes in the area. It is a really fun event for the kids to be able to get dressed up and know that everyone is going to be modest. Since she just turned 14 last month, this was her first church dance. I was really excited for her!

She found a really pretty black dress at Target for $3.98. Unbelievable! Anna made her a shrug to go over her shoulders and a black cami filled in the blanks. It was perfect.

Since Anna and I were both gone to Toledo, my friend Jodi stepped in and took her to get her hair done. Unfortunately, Emily and the stylist interpreted the picture she took in very differently. I got a panicked call from Emily during intermission. She was crying and very upset because she said her hair was awful and she hated it and her day was ruined. I felt so bad being so far away and unable to help her. Jodi stepped in and saved the day with her can of hairspray and bobby pins. She came back to the house and fixed the hair so it was less Princess Leia episode 4 and more messy chignon. Lifesaver!

Chris made it home from the hospital in time to take pictures of Emily and her friends that were riding together. She looked beautiful.

From the accounts I received, she had a wonderful time and danced with five different boys. That is quite a success for a church dance. My first church dance was youth and young single adults together and one person that danced with me was 26. That was frightening. I hope they don't still do that. What a mistake! I didn't tell Emily this, but I only enjoyed one church dance I went to and that was at Youth Conference with another stake. Our church dances were always really LAME. Probably because there were 26 year olds there.

Trying to help Emily during her crisis, I was discreetly texting her after the show came back from intermission....read on...

Maybe some mental defective put something stupid on her leg.

2010-04-19T14:10:00.002-04:00

Most of the commotion with Emily was taken care of during the intermission, however, there were a few loose ends that I needed to tie up with her after the second half started. I was discreetly trying to text her. Also Chris was updating me on some changes to his dad's condition. And, Jodi was letting me know that Emily was alright. I was not talking. I was not making any noise. I was holding my phone low and texting. A guy two seats over leans at me and tells me to put "that phone" away. I just turned it over and stopped. Inside I was seething. The little light from my phone was not deterring from him being able to enjoy the show. Seriously. In addition, our seats were second from the back row. Obviously he takes his theater-going a little too zealously for someone who is buying the cheapest seats possible. There is NO way any of the cast members could see it and be distracted. What was his deal? I had to stand up three times so he and his stupid girlfriend could go empty their tiny bladders and buy some iced coffees. Did I tell him to "sit down and stay put?" Certainly not.

We live in 2010 not 1980. Technology exists so that we can be connected. I am thankful for the connection that my cell phone gives me with people around me. I was glad I could talk Emily down from her crisis that afternoon. I was glad Chris could share with me what was happening with his dad. I was relieved when Jodi said she was heading back to my house to help Emily. I was glad my boys could reach me at a seconds notice in case of emergency. There is once place that I will not use my cell phone and that is in the temple. Otherwise, call me rude or whatever, but I don't care. In emergency, crisis and so forth...I will text. During a movie, dinner, at the theater, church, on a boat or with a goat.

I will not just randomly text friends during this time. But if the need arises for me to take care of an issue, I'm going to.

Maybe there should be a texting seating area where you can text in case of emergency. I'd buy my tickets in that section every time.

And for my last little rant...read on...

I know nothing stays the same. But if you're willing to play the game, it will be coming around again.

2010-04-19T14:09:00.002-04:00

Anna and I rode to Toledo with some friends who just happened to be going to the same show. Anna and I had planned on eating at Tony Packos after the show. We narrowed it down to Ideal Hot Dog and Tony Packos and Packos won out. But not by much. :) So, I had to tell our ride that we had to go to Tony Packos after the show. Luckily they didn't seem to mind too much. Something is wrong with you if you don't like Packos. Really seriously wrong. You should get checked out.

Driving into Holland and then Toledo toward the theater was really sad for me. SO many memories on those streets! St. John's High School, location of a very disappointing homecoming dance. (Josh, if you read this, I'm sorry. I know it was disappointing for you too.) Chuck Muers which is now some lame Mexican place. And Reynolds Road...what happened to Reynolds Road? Has South Toledo just fallen apart?

The saddest by far was the parking lot that once was Southwyck Mall. Southwyck Mall contains a million memories for me: Santa's Lap, the Easter chicks, the giant fountain and stairs to sit on in the middle, the carousel, Anna's ear piercing(s), Lions store. Lion's Store! That's where I got my first Liz purse with the vinyl sides and the L stamped in it. That was the "it" bag at my school. Everyone had one. And Midnight Madness at Lions. And that's where my mom took me to the Clinique counter for my first makeover. Everything cool came from Lion's. Can you tell I just loved Lion's Store?

My best friend and I would walk from her house (she lived in the neighborhood behind the mall) to the mall all the time. I think Eliza and I saw "Three Men and A Baby" there five or six times. One time I gave her a birthday gift in a bag and the ticket taker either looked in it for contraband candy or asked her if she had some. I can't remember exactly why but we thought it was hilarious. Southwyck Mall was where I went to the movies with friends to see a specific movie that my mom had forbidden me to see. Don't do that, Emily!

In high school, we pretty much stopped going to Southwyck and spent most of our malling at Franklin Park. Which I'm pretty sure isn't even Franklin Park anymore. Where has my Toledo gone?

I almost cried in the car seeing the sad dilapidation for an area of town that was relatively bustling 10 years ago. I guess things change fast especially when you aren't around it every day to experience it slowly. I was glad we didn't head out the other way on Heatherdowns so I would have to pass my old Churchills. That would have reduced me to tears.

Blow! It's time for a showdown! You and me. I'm right here. Come and get me! You'll never sink this boat!

2010-04-14T17:33:00.006-04:00

My dad had lots of opinions and words of wisdom that I remember from over the years. Some of it was good advice like always buy the heaviest head of lettuce you can find. Some of it was silly like never order a large ice cream because your taste buds will freeze half way and then you can't taste it anymore. (I googled that one and NOT TRUE!)

Today as I drove down Canton Center Road I was reminded of another piece of his advice. Never plant a Bradford Pear tree. The street I grew up on had a ton of these flowery trees lining the roads. You see them all over and they really look beautiful for the spring. Whenever I would comment on their beauty, my dad would tell me this: Communities plant them because they are cheap. They will look good for about ten years and then they get weak and fall apart. One good storm will break them down. He would say to get a Redbud or a Dogwood. Still pretty and much sturdier. When it came to plants and trees, my dad knew his stuff. He was a landscape architect by profession. He knew everything about every plant and tree there was including their Latin names. When I was at BYU and MSU and would find an unusual plant, I would mail him a leaf and he would identify it for me. I loved his plethora of knowledge on this subject.

Now when I see the Bradford Pear I get mad at the stupid weak trees. What a waste! Sometimes I think about how some people are like the Bradford Pear, unable to weather the storms. Maybe that's why my dad didn't like them. He wasn't weak and he NEVER bowed or split during the storms in his life.

Happy Birthday, Calvin!

2010-04-10T12:58:00.003-04:00

Happy 10th Birthday to Calvin!

Here's the top 10 things I love about him:

10. He has got the cutest little behind. It is adorable.

9. He is very sensitive.

8. He loves babies and little kids and playing with them.

7. He works really hard when you give him a job and Rarely complains.

6. He is interested in all kinds of interesting topics and shares his knowledge with me often.

5. He loves going to church and being a part of scouts.

4. He has the greatest laugh. Seriously, if you hear it, you will laugh too.

3. He works hard to choose the right.

2. If I am sad, he gives me a hug and tries to make me feel better.

1. He's my son and I love him very much just because he's him.

I'm so hungry I could eat a whole elephant

2010-04-07T12:28:00.003-04:00

I finished the second set of real foods baby sizes. Enjoy!

Customize a picture slideshow

Are you stupid or something?

2010-04-07T10:46:00.004-04:00

You may remember my dilemma with Spencer last summer with his delay in reading skills. He repeated kindergarten this year and is doing great in everything except reading. It continues to challenge him. It's like there is something blocking his ability to understand the relationship between the letters, sounds and words. Reading is frustrating for him and for me.

I met with his teacher last week to talk about his needs. They are going to have Spencer evaluated for possible learning disabilities. He will continue to get extra support from the reading specialist at the school and he will be moved on to first grade in the fall. He will go to the summer school program during summer to get extra help. We are looking into getting some tutoring help for him. I don't think he has a disability. I think he is just at a slower pace than other kids his age. Poor Spence. I really want this skill to "click" in his brain. I know it is so important for him to have good reading ability because it is the foundation for so much in his future. I am confident that we are on the right path of support for him.

Sometimes I worry that this problem is caused by our large family. I worry that he is lost in the shuffle. I don't have as much one on one time with any of the kids as a family with less kids would. Is that what Spencer needs? I expressed these concerns to his teacher. Her response made me feel so great. His problem isn't because he has lots of brothers and sisters. She said some wonderfully positive things about the joys of teaching children who come from large families. I don't hear things like that very often and I left the conference feeling so validated and joyful. I'm so thankful that we have been blessed with such a wonderful teacher. I know there are so many people on Spencer's team rooting for him and he will catch up thanks to the efforts of all of them.

There is more than one way to spread your wings.

2010-03-30T08:04:00.005-04:00

Saturday was the YW broadcast at church with the Mother/Daughter dinner beforehand. I had fun with Emily. I embarrassed her by getting in line for food before she thought we should. She gave me the blackberries from her dessert. I love blackberries. We made baby blankets as a service project.

We sat in the chapel and listened to the speakers tell the YW some very important things. I sat there hoping that Emily was taking the things they said to heart. I was also listening for things that pertained to me. Things that I could do to draw closer to the Lord. I was struck when one of the speakers talked about girls and mothers and grandmothers all working on personal progress. This was something I could do! While Emily is working on her personal progress, I can do it too.

I've completed the personal progress program twice in my life. Once as a youth and once as a leader. Now I'm doing it as a mother. I've decided to do it in a very straightforward way. I am going to choose a value and do all the experiences in order and then do the project. I am doing the values in alphabetical order starting with Choice and Accountability.

I'm excited about this opportunity to grow spiritually using a tool I hadn't considered necessarily for me. I'm also excited that this is something Emily and I can do together. Maybe we can team up on a project. That would be really fun to do together.

PS: If you want to find a picture of the YW logo to put on your blog, don't google the words "young women." It's really sad and yucky what comes up.

Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor...Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor....Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor...Doctor. Doctor. Doctor. Doctor..We're not doctors!

2010-03-26T14:13:00.005-04:00

On Tuesday, I reach the 28 week marker in my pregnancy. For me, this is one of the most important milestones in pregnancy. At week 28, I know that the baby will live if something is wrong and it has to be born early. I know this because my sister was born at 28 weeks. She was a tiny little thing, just 2 pounds. For several months leading up to her birth and for many months after, we spent a lot of time at the hospital. I've been thinking about that time lately because my father-in-law is having some health problems and he is in the hospital. We have spent considerable time there keeping him company.

Going to the hospital to visit anyone always makes me remember all the time I spent at the hospital visiting my mom as a child.

Before Anna was born, my mom was hospitalized for several months. This must have been when doctors actually determined your medical needs and not the insurance industry or the federal government. At that time, she was in the University of Michigan Hospital and for some reason, she was in a ward. I wonder if hospitals even have wards anymore. For her, it was a big room with beds lined up and a curtain that separated each bed. I remember she hated the ward. My dad and I drove to Ann Arbor from Toledo each evening. He would pick me up from whatever friends I was staying with and we would drive an hour and see Mom. Sometimes we would stop on Washtenaw for Arby's and bring Mom a sandwich. Back then, it was the only fast food restaurant on the way to the hospital. I knew my way around the hospital incredibly well. I would walk ahead of my dad, rushing to get to her and once there I would sit on her bed with her and tell her all about my day and do my homework. Then we would pack up and head back home for another hour drive in the car. We did this every day. Saturday and Sunday, we left early in the morning and spent all day with her. To me, this is what you do when someone you love is in the hospital. YOU STAY WITH THEM!

I don't know the technical reasons why my mom had to deliver Anna early. I remember hearing someone sometime after say that her placenta was dying, so that may have contributed to it. Anna spent over a month in the hospital until she was strong enough to come home. Guess what? We visited her every day just like my mom. My mom was actually discharged from the hospital before Anna was so eventually we all would go to the hospital together. About two weeks after she was born, I got the chicken pox. I wasn't allowed to go into the NICU where she was. I had to sit in a waiting room. I would read and color. I hated being by myself and not getting to see my new little sister. The highlight for me was when my parents would bring her to the door and hold her up and I would wave at her through the glass. I was sure she knew me and was happy to see me.

Last Saturday, we took the kids up to the hospital to see Chris' dad. He looked relatively good. He did have oxygen and an IV and I think those things threw the kids off. They hung back and were very leery about approaching him. For several of them, it was their first experience in a hospital besides going to see a new brother or sister. I watched them and contrasted it to my own experiences with my mom. It didn't matter what she was hooked up to, I sat on her bed and laid by her. I can distinctly remember when she was in the ICU once, I don't even know if she was conscious but I laid next to her in the mess of all her wires and IV's. A nurse came in and tried to shoo me away and my dad gave her a piece of his mind. I stayed put next to Mom.

This post seems a jumble of weird thoughts and memories. I guess it's just stuff I'm thinking of because I have been visiting the hospital so much lately. I know you are going to say, What's New?, but it just makes me miss my mom so much more.

Random Thoughts by Jennifer Vos

2010-03-19T13:39:00.002-04:00

We've had varying degrees of flu badness in our house over the past week. Poor Lizzie had it the worst, having thrown up three times all over herself in her bed. Poor girl! I spent most of Thursday sick in bed. Did absolutely nothing except cuddle Lizzie.

Chris' dad had unexpected surgery on Wednesday. He is recovering and goes back into the hospital on next Wednesday for a valve replacement on his heart.

I hate my ob. I went for an appointment today. She made me do the glucose tolerance test even though I did it already at my previous doctor. It is so hard to gag down that drink when you are already feeling nauseated. She also said that my previous doctor didn't perform the correct tests and so I had an unexpected pelvic exam. Not sure how many pelvic exams I've had in my life...I'm gonna guesstimate 20ish...I've never had a painful one. This one was awful! She poked and pinched and stretched. I hated it. Lizzie hated it too. She was sitting her in her stroller and the minute I laid down, she started screaming. Must have known it was awful. Then the doctor listened to baby, measured me and done. Didn't ask me how I am feeling. Nothing. I miss my midwife who gives me a hug and chats and cares. I think maybe the doctor doesn't like me. (Jerry, don't say that!) I know it's hard to believe that someone wouldn't like me.

On that same note, there's someone else who doesn't like me and it's really bugging me. I don't know why I care so much. She's not in my circle of friends. I don't really interact with her that much but when I do, I can feel the disdain she has for me. She hasn't accepted my friend request on FB even though she has accepted all of our mutual friends. I just can't figure it out. Maybe I'm not as great as I thought I was. ;)

Tonight I'm going to play Bunco for the first time at a friend's house. I can't even describe the level of excitement I have over this event. I'm serious. I am so excited. The funny thing is, I have no idea how to play. I know it involves dice. That's about it. My mom used to play Bunco. I remember when it was her turn to host, we made all kinds of goodies and she would go to the store and buy special tally sheets and prizes. She would put me to bed and then her friends would come and I would sneak down the hall and watch them. My mom loved playing so I'm sure I'm going to too.

My Blackberry officially died. I feel very disconnected to the world.

I am rooting for Big Mike and Siobhan on American Idol. I wish Siobhan had straighter teeth though.

How will I know?

2010-03-13T12:31:00.003-05:00

I just heard the song, "How will I know?" by Whitney Houston on the radio. That song totally reminds me of being in the 5th grade. I got a boombox for Christmas that year and my first tape. It was Whitney Houston's first album aptly titled, "Whitney Houston." I had the job of dusting and sweeping our living room every Saturday and every Saturday I would bring my boombox with me and play that song and make up my very own cool dances to it as I dusted and danced. FYI: I am not a very good choreographer and if Chris ever got his hands on the video of my attempt at choreography for Senior Halftime Show, my reputation as a semi-normal person would be over.

I love songs that bring back fun memories.

Lucky

2010-03-10T18:41:00.002-05:00

Dear Lucky,

I feel you in there kicking around. I know you probably think that since you are #7 that you are going to have to work extra hard to make your presence known. Don't worry. We already are all excited about you becoming a part of our family.

I haven't bonded with your name yet so I'm still calling you Lucky. I might call you Lucky after you are born. I hope you don't mind. I think it's kind of cute. I am going to try and call you Genny. Probably Genevieve when I'm mad at you. And Gen when you grow up and we become friends.

Your grandma was a lucky #7 too. All her family loved and adored her as yours will.

I knew you were coming before you came. When Lizzie was born, I knew another baby would come soon after. I secretly knew it would be a girl too but I never told anyone. When I first saw you on the ultrasound screen, wiggling around, I felt like I already knew you. I could tell that you belonged to me.

I think you are really lucky. You are being born to a great family. We are fun and happy and wonderful. But we aren't perfect. Sometimes you might get mad at us. That's ok. I can't promise that you will ever have your own room or be given money to go to college. I can promise that I will give you a hug and a kiss every day and tell you that you are wonderful. I can promise that I will always love you.

I can't wait to meet you. Sometimes I imagine those first moments when they put your slimy, squirmy body on my chest and I can hear your tiny cry. I have experienced that six times before and each time ties as number one for the most blissful, wonderful moment in my life.

See you soon.

Love,

Mom

And the award goes to...

2010-03-07T10:53:00.003-05:00

Thursday was the 1st Annual Mom's Academy Awards. Moms from all over Plymouth, Canton and Livonia gathered to eat and gab and receive their special Golden Spoon award. It was a fun night and I think we could have partied into the wee hours of the morning if it weren't for kids that still needed to be put to bed. It was such a fun time. I can't wait to get together again.

Here's the winners list:

1. Mom most likely to be found in the service of others: Angela McFadden

2. Most musical mom: Becca Winder

3. Most athletic mom: Dianna Maisano

4. Mom with the best fashion sense: Laura Galbraith

5. Most patient mom: Valerie Mercado

6. Best blogger mom: Jennifer Vos

7. Most Web Savvy Mom: Natalie Farrell

8. Mom with the best decorating skills: Angie Gardner

9. Most creative cook mom: Mari Noble

10. Best seamstress/crafty mom: Anna Onofrio

11. Mom that always greets everyone with her beautiful smile: Valerie Williams

12. Mom best at being "herself": Patti Banka

13. Most organized mom: Teresa Murphy

14. Mom most often found taxiing kids: Sue Barfuss

15. Mom with the best sense of humor: Lisa Nielsen

16. Mom never seen without her makeup and hair perfect: Esther Rogers

17. Most well-read mom: Melissa Farnsworth

18. Mom most often seen holding other mom's children: Carol Vos

19. The Renaissance Mom: Rachel Clawson

Happy Birthday, Emily. I guess.

2010-03-05T10:26:00.002-05:00

Dear Emily,

I would appreciate it if you would please stop having birthdays and just stay how you are. The thought of you getting older and leaving home some day brings tears to my eyes. I don't know who came up with this "having a birthday every year and becoming older" thing but they are really stupid.

Please give my request some thought.

Love,

Mom

Garbage chute. Really wonderful idea. What an incredible smell you've discovered! Let's get out of here! Get away from there...

2010-03-04T07:47:00.000-05:00

Spencer is a crafty little kid. He loves to make things. Give him some paper and glue and scissors and he's set for hours. It's fun that he is so creative. Lately, he has been taking items from around the house and using them in his creations. You will often hear him saying about an old box or container, "Can I have that?" He takes it and glues it to another box or container and voile! he's got a mailbox or a restaurant or a spaceship. The items that he likes to take often includes items that I have put in the trash. Old milk bottles, pop cans, take-out containers...Spencer loves them all. Here's a photo of his most recent acquisitions. I made him throw most of them back in the trash cuz, GROSS!

Why don't you try squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon and see how hot YOU look?

2010-03-03T14:08:00.005-05:00

Have any of you ever seen this site?

Baby Center Slide Show

You can go there and see how big your growing fetus is compared to fruits and veggies.

I really like looking at this site. However, some of the fruits and veggies are leaving me cold. Truly, how often are we eating figs, rutabagas and crenshaw melons? In our house, not that often.

So for awhile I've been pondering a more "Jennifer-friendly" list of foods to compare my baby's size to.

I've only gotten to 20 weeks but I'll keep working and I welcome any suggestions.

Enjoy!

This free photo slideshow made with Smilebox

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

2010-03-03T13:27:00.004-05:00

Chris and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary last week. We got married on February 23, 1995 in the Toronto, Ontario, Canada LDS Temple. It was a cloudy, gray day outside but my heart was bright and sunny because my best friend and I were sealed together forever.

I think the best part of the experience was sitting with him all alone in the Celestial Room as we waited to be escorted into the sealing room. We looked in the eternity mirrors and our smiling faces went on forever and ever.

Over the past 15 years, we have had days with smiling faces and days full of tears. We have our yucky moments, like any married couple. Yet, Chris remains my very best friend. I love him and I also genuinely like him. Being together makes me so happy.

Chris, thanks for making me so happy! I love you.

You are not as charming as you think you are, Sir.

2010-02-26T08:33:00.003-05:00

Christopher turned 12 on February 7th. That is really hard to believe! He was ordained a Deacon the same day and was given the Aaronic Priesthood. I am a proud mom!

Christopher continues to amaze me on a daily basis as to his strength of character. I know that the word "good" is really generic and vague but Christopher is really GOOD. He tries hard to do what is right. He respects adults and treats his parents and leaders and teachers appropriately. He wants to share the Gospel with his friends and peers. He likes his siblings and being with them. He rarely complains about helping around the house. He is just really good.

When he was a little boy, he was a stinker. He and Emily shared a room until he was 4. When he was about 2, he would leave the room on a nightly basis to sneak food out of the kitchen. Sometimes we would catch him and sometimes we wouldn't. Finally, we put a baby gate up in the dining room so he couldn't get into the kitchen. He got a rocking chair from his room and climbed over. He dragged a dining room chair over to the gate to get back over. One night Chris sat at the bottom of the stairs and waited for Christopher to emerge from his room. The stairs were directly down the hall from his room and Chris had a straight view to see what he was doing. Christopher got out of bed and headed down the hall. Then he noticed Chris sitting there and froze. He was caught!

He really liked to play with Emily's collection of Beanie Babies. We kept them on a shelf over her bed. One night I caught him climbing on the rocking chair that he had lifted and placed on top of Emily (who was asleep) in her bed. He was standing and trying to reach the Beanie Babies. Emily never woke up.

A few days before Christopher's birthday, Chris and I took him to Sonic to give him a "Chastity/Puberty" talk. I don't think he will want to visit Sonic again for a really long time. We have may ruined it for him. It's the only time I've seen him speechless and not hungry in a long time.

I love that I can always count on Christopher to be good. I hope his goodness continues to stay with him throughout his life. Happy birthday, Sunny Son!

It's a Girl!

2010-02-24T17:21:00.003-05:00

Just 17 weeks til we get to meet our little cutie pie.

What's vacation, Momma?

2010-02-18T17:30:00.006-05:00

A shot of the wet play area.

Last November, the Steeler football team that the boys play for decided to sponsor a trip to Kalahari Water Park over mid-winter break in February. Chris and I looked at the price the team was offering and knew that we couldn't pass it up. Our family has not been on any sort of "real" vacation since 2005. That's a REALLY long time! So we took the plunge and made a reservation. Because of our great deal, we saved over 60% of what the cost would have been without it and we took all our own food to save money.

Tuesday, Grammy came and picked up Lizzie. Poor Liz didn't get to go but we decided it would be really hard with her and she wouldn't really care anyway. We headed out and arrived at Kalahari, in Sandusky, Ohio, that evening. Even after just going through the front door, I knew it was going to be amazing. There was African safari music playing and tons of African art and animal statues. My words can't do it justice. It was super cool. We had a great bell-hop who helped the kids and I make our way to our room while Chris parked the car. On the way to the room, he stopped at a giant window where we could look out over the water park facilities. Again, my words can't do it justice. Incredible...Amazing...Totally Cool! 180,000 square feet of water park fun. We unloaded at the room, threw our suits on and headed out.

It was upon the heading out that my water park virginity came into play. I learned a lot about what to do next time.

Tip #1. Bring a cover up so you don't have to walk through the crowded hotel lobby in your swimsuit.

Aside note: Even though I am fat, it doesn't really bother me that much. I am like a reverse anorexic. So it didn't really bug me to be in public in my swimsuit. But it was cold.

Me in wave pool

Tip #2. Make sure everyone brings sandals.
Tip #3. You don't need your own towels.
Tip #4. Don't go to a water park when you are pregnant.
Tip #5. Don't go to a water park if you want to relax.
Tip #6. When you enter the park, your kids lose all ability to listen to a word you say.

So that night we played in the wave pool, the wet play area, water slides, hot tub and the little baby area. We went to bed so excited about the next full day at the water park! I fell asleep to the sounds of Chris and the kids playing Chopsticks and I am A Child of God on his iPhone fart piano.

Spence overlooking wave pool from right outside our cabana Em in wave pool

Our room had two queen beds and a pull out couch. Definitely enough sleeping room. We had a small fridge and microwave. In the morning we ate cereal and Poptarts and headed to the park. We played all day. The only bummer was that the lazy river was closed. I was really looking forward to the lazy river since I couldn't go on any of the water slides. The Steelers had rented a cabana where we could keep our stuff and hang out and relax. It was great!

Tip #6. Give your kids some kind of a watch so they can meet you at designated times.

After we spent a long time looking for our kids, we went back to our room and ate sandwiches and snacks for lunch. Then, you guessed it, we headed back to the park. We took a small detour and played a few arcade games and did a round of mini golf.

Tip #7. Get some kind of waterproof bag that you can keep your camera in so it's available for pictures all the time. Also, see Tip #1. Tip #1 very important.

Tip #8. If you aren't careful, your wallet will open up and drain itself of money.
Aside note: Someday, I would really love to be able to buy all the food from the expensive snack vendors and drinks in cool shaped glasses and get everyone a t-shirt. I feel guilty that I want to but I really do want to. Someday. Just once.

Cam helping me enjoy my smoothie.

We decided not to purchase any of the yummy looking snacks from the snack stands all over but I did convince Chris to get me a fruit smoothie. A $4.50 smoothie. It was really good though. We laughed our selves silly at all the people losing their swimsuits in the surf board area. One of the football coaches did a really great job. A picture of him is below. Christopher got on too and kept his suit on the whole time! We didn't get any pictures of him, though.

We exhausted ourselves and headed back to our room after another round of "Hunt down your children in a building the size of over 3 football fields in a mob of people." It was like real live "Where's Waldo."

Calvin fell asleep at the foot of the bed immediately. We ate more sandwiches and decided to get a little treat of some loaded french fries and chicken wings. That was fun. Everyone went to bed early. Except Cameron. I woke up at 3am to the sound of him ripping open the Poptarts and helping himself to a nice glass of pop. Got him back in bed and then we slept in.

We had to check out by 11 but we could still use the park until 3. We checked out and went back to the park. The lazy river was open, hooray! I could have spent all day in there if Cameron would have cooperated. He didn't really love it. We played another game of "Where's Waldo," got everyone dressed and were on the road around 2pm.

It was serious fun and I really can't wait to do it again. I think that by following the tips of what I've learned, it will be an even better trip next time.

We picked up Lizzie as soon as we got home and she gave me the biggest, nicest hug. Totally rewarding! Nala was thrilled we were home too. She didn't have any accidents in the house while we were gone, thankfully!

I am so glad we were able to do take this trip! I give it 4 out of 5 stars. We are definitely going back!

Don't make us go home!!

If we went to a Halloween party dressed as Batman and Robin, I'd go as Robin. That's how much you mean to me...

2010-02-15T10:25:00.003-05:00

It's winter Olympics time. I don't like the winter Olympics as much as the summer Olympics. I am only interested in a few events like the ice skating and the curling. Have you ever seen curling? It is a pretty interesting sport if you have the patience to give it a chance.

My dad had some friends who were curlers. Once we went to the ice arena to watch a curling match. It was pretty interesting and my dad loved it. His friends really wanted him to give it a try, but he walked with crutches then and crutches and ice rinks aren't the greatest mix. Finally, though, they convinced him and he headed out to the ice with their help. He really wanted to throw the stone all by himself. So that's what he did. They helped him out on the ice, stood next to him and handed him the stone. He threw the stone and his crutches went flying. He fell, spread eagle, on the ice and slid a little ways. Looking back, it was an absolutely hilarious scene. He was so proud of himself for getting out there and throwing the stone with no help.

We didn't take hardly any vacations when I was a kid. I can only remember three. One was a weekend trip to Grand Haven. We went to the beach on Lake Michigan. I remember it was really cold. My dad was walking with crutches then too. Mostly he sat in a lounge chair on the beach while we played. Finally, he gets up and starts walking towards the water. I watched him as he struggled in the sand and makes it to the water. He goes in until the water is about calf high and then he stops. The cold water is affecting his muscles and he can't move. Also the waves are causing the sand to move and he is sinking as well. He stands there for a while, getting lower and lower. My mom goes out to see if she can help, but she has congestive heart failure and is unable to exert herself at all. I was only 11 or 12 and couldn't do anything. Finally, some men come over and pick him up and carry him back to his chair. He didn't care about that. It was like with the stone. He was so proud of himself for getting out there by himself.

Our husbands can attest to the fact that Anna and I have both inherited, sometimes to our detriment, his "I can do it by myself" attitude. But most of the time this attitude is a good thing because it helps us get through things that are hard. I know that I can do anything. One thing I've learned in my old age though, is that sometimes it's better to ask for help.

Happy Birthday, Dad. And thanks for helping shape me into who I am.

Give me the money! Give me the money! Freeze, Police!

2010-02-12T10:15:00.003-05:00

Last night during book club, Teresa recommended a book that I am definitely going to read called, "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker. She said the author talks about how sometimes you'll get an icky feeling about someone. Maybe its a man on the elevator or someone who is trying to sell something at your door. The author says you should trust that icky feeling because more often than not, your instincts are right. It sounds like a very interesting book.

I have had some of those experiences where someone I was interacting with seemed "off." Thankfully, I have never been a victim of a crime as a result of one of those people. Usually, I listen to my gut. I have gotten off elevators at wrong floors because someone in there was creeping me out. I have driven around my block several times because it seemed like a car was following me and I didn't want them to know where i lived.

The discussion at book club made me remember one time when my instincts were really off. I was a young girl, maybe 11 or 12. My dad worked for an architectural firm in downtown Toledo. I thought that it was a really scary part of town. After being in truly scary parts of Detroit, I have come to realize that there isn't a scary part of Toledo. But, in my 11 year old mind, we were in grave danger every time we went to my dad's office. He and I would often go on Saturdays. He would do work and I would play with the office supplies. Every time we'd go home, I would try and hurry as fast as we could back to the car before the bad guys could get us. But fast as we could go was not very fast because my dad walked with crutches at the time. He was very slow. I used to imagine that men in big vans would pull up as we were hobbling along the sidewalk and grab me and kick him and he would fall and I would be taken away and he would be lying there unable to do anything. My imagination was very vivid! So, one Saturday, we are headed for the car but this time, Dad wants to bring home several boxes full of junk. So I am pushing a cart of boxes towards our car and we are going slowly and my worst nightmare comes true. A clunker car pulls up next to us and two big, black men hop out and start walking in our direction. I remember thinking, "This is it. I'm dead. My dad is dead. It's over." The men approached us and asked if they could help. !!! I was shocked. They loaded the boxes in the car and helped us take the cart back up to my dad's work. We got in the car and pulled away and I breathed a sigh of relief. We were safe. I'm glad I was wrong about those men.

I'm also glad for "instinct" or "gut feelings" or "promptings" that I have that have not been wrong. Thanks, Teresa, for the great book suggestion.

So, Little Children, Let's You and I, Try, Try to be like Him. Try, Try, Try

2010-02-08T11:29:00.002-05:00

Yesterday during Primary Brother Kimball brought his favorite picture of Jesus and showed it to the children and talked about why it was his favorite. His favorite picture happens to be my favorite also. When I was a little girl, this picture hung in my room next to my bed. I can remember lying in bed looking at the picture and imagining that I was the girl that Jesus was looking at. I imagined that the other children in the picture were my cousins: Jeremy, Justin and Kara. I wondered what it would be like if Jesus visited us.

I've often heard that if Jesus were going to visit a church that the first places that he would visit would be the Nursery and the Primary. I believe that is true. Children are so sweet and pure. Even the difficult ones. I would rather spend my Sunday with a room full of difficult children than anywhere else.

We had a mess of theories about how to raise children. We still have a mess of children, but no theories

2010-02-04T15:44:00.002-05:00

Often I have people ask me, "How do you do it?" They mean raise 6 children and still have a bit of sanity.

When I really stop and think about it, I know that it's easy. It's easy because I have GREAT children.

I'm gonna gush and brag here for a little bit. I don't do it very often so please indulge me.

Lately, I've been very nauseated. The slightest odd smell from poopy diaper, to vomit, to burnt toast to garlic can send me heading for the nearest drain. Emily has really stepped up. She has had to change diapers, cook meals, clean and take care of so many "mom" things while I try and get through this time.

Often, she does this kind of stuff for me when I'm feeling fine too. She'll ask to put Lizzie to bed and I'll hear her in Lizzie's room singing to her and playing with her as she lays her down. She'll take care of laundry and cleaning that I know she doesn't really love but does because she knows how much it helps me.

Christopher is so good at helping out when he is needed. He heads out at the first bit of snowfall to clean the driveway. He is great at cleaning out the van, hanging up shirts, taking care of kids. This spring I am going to teach him how to mow the lawn. I know he looks forward to it.

Calvin is my speedy helper. Ask him to do something and he does it quick and is right back for another assignment. He is the best floor sweeper I've ever seen and also is great with Lizzie. I can trust him to take good care of her if I need him to.

Spencer is something of an enigma. Spencer cleans without being asked. He will wash dishes, sweep, put things away, vacuum all on his own. Yesterday he told me that he organized the dirty clothes in the laundry room for me. Indeed he had. Everything was neatly stacked in baskets. He loves to clean and organize. I can take no credit for it. It's all Chris.

Cam has yet to show any special skills towards anything other than making messes. However, after he is put to bed every night he always visits my room at least once for another kiss. His lips pucker up in the sweetest way as he tells me he loves me.

And Lizzie puts up with being last. She tolerates our fly by the seat of our pants schedule. She greets me each morning with the best hug. She eats what she's given and rarely puts up a fuss.

Sometimes I feel like the Country Bunny with the Little Gold Shoes. I am the luckiest mom in the world to have such wonderful children and I love and appreciate them with all my heart.

“I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus.”

2010-02-02T09:06:00.003-05:00

The reason I love the Beatles so much, besides the fact that they are the most talented and awesome band ever, all stems from one day in 1986. I was 12 years old and it was Christmas Eve. My dad and I had gone shopping for my mom's present weeks before. It wasn't hard. All she wanted was the "Abbey Road" cassette tape. We went to Peaches (Toledoans do you remember Peaches?! It was the ONLY place to buy music. I spent infinity time and money there.) and bought the tape. I remember thinking it was pretty stupid looking. Four guys with long hair in suits crossing the street. Definitely not my cup of tea. We wrapped it and set it under the tree to wait for Christmas Eve.

This was the first Christmas Eve in my life that we didn't spend at my grandma's house. The few weeks preceding Christmas were very tense in my house. My mom had a lump in her breast and she had a biopsy to determine it's threat level. This was the second time my mom had cancer in her body and just another issue for her in a long line of medical conditions and surgeries. My parents decided a trip to my grandma's would be too stressful this year. So we had our little Christmas Eve party at home. I remember getting a Michigan hat and gloves and scarf set. It was my favorite. Hard to believe I was ever a Michigan fan!

Just before we were set to open our presents there was a phone call. It was my mom's doctor telling her that the lump was not malignant. It would have to be removed but there wouldn't be chemo and radiation. This time. At the time, I didn't understand the magnitude of how wonderful that was. I just knew that my mom and dad were so happy.

My mom opened her tape and had me go get my boom box. She put the tape in and we listened to side one. It was ok. But then we flipped it to side two and I first heard the song, "Here comes the Sun." I remember my mom picked up my sister and danced around the living room with her singing that song. She would play it over and over and over. I loved the Beatles passionately from that moment on.

I like to believe that the words of the song spoke exactly how she felt at that moment. Here comes the sun and I say its all right.

Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan armada.

2010-01-20T14:46:00.004-05:00

Does anyone have a great system for limiting the time spent playing video games in their home? Other than just turning it off and saying no. I'm looking for a schedule/system...something to help our video game playing in moderation. Thanks for the help!

Open, Open Your eyes!

2010-01-19T20:32:00.004-05:00

This Saturday was my Platte Family Christmas Party. I have posted about this party in past years...about the great food I get to eat and the wonderful family I get to see. This year my aunts made a scrapbook for Anna and me of many pictures that they had of my mom. It is really adorable. There are pictures in there of her that I had never seen from her childhood and young adult years. I loved looking at it. They also made a video of the pictures set to music that they are singing. My aunts are wonderful singers. I love the sound of their voices so much.

This year it seemed that my mom was everywhere at the party. She was holding babies. She was clapping and singing. She was in my Aunt Tina's smile. She was cooking and washing dishes. She hugged me with Aunt Pat's arms. She was laughing at the "Santa" gifts. She was eating glorified rice and vegetable pizza. She looked at me through Anna's eyes.

In August she will have been dead for 20 years. That seems like a really long time yet the pain I feel at missing her is still so new. I am never going to get over this. I am always going to be an emotional wreck.

Lately, I have been so angry at this loss. I have read and read and read and been reminded by friends and therapists that there are five stages of grief. Sometimes I feel like I am in all of them at the same time. I am so angry at God for taking her away and I am angry at everyone who has a mother and I am angry at everyone who is her age and is not my mother and I am angry at her for leaving. Pretty much I am angry at everyone. Except maybe Anna and the kids.

Someone commented to me today that I haven't been posting regularly lately. I think it's because my feelings have been so complicated and self-pitying and stupid of late. I can't seem to get it together to post something uplifting and inspiring. But I have been feeling like something is missing when I don't post often. So maybe this blog is going to follow me through this season I am in. I just hope it is a short one.

Random Thoughts by Jennifer Vos

2010-01-11T17:06:00.006-05:00

I need to get into a regular posting schedule.

Sirius Black is my favorite Harry Potter character besides Harry Potter. Yesterday, someone told me that they have a hard time getting through the movies. Because he was a bit older than me, I forgive him, but he is on my list of people not to be trusted. I am considering camping out for movie 7 tickets now.

My favorite album besides Beatles is Hysteria.

I don't like my kids to play in the snow because it is such a mess when they come in.

I am making homemade macaroni and cheese for dinner.

My ultrasound is on January 29. Stay tuned for gender news! Tomorrow my baby is as big as a turnip.

I don't get the song "Push" by Matchbox Twenty. I don't want to push anyone around.

I love reading other people's blogs. I spend too much time on it.

My laundry room is becoming much more functional. I am thankful for Chris' hard work in there. I wish I had a webcam in there so that I would keep it clean. Knowing that people might be looking at it would be good incentive.

My new Primary class is great and I love them but I don't know if I am a good teacher to one of my students. He is a handful. I don't know quite how to deal with him.

I haven't taken a shower yet today.

I love being a mother but the hours aren't really convenient to my sleep schedule.