Random Thoughts from Jennifer Vos

I'm in a really bad mood.

It's really hard to have so many kids and today I'm really feeling it. My calendar over the next few weeks is incredibly busy. I feel like bricks are piled on my shoulders.

I have a lot of car seats. One is for Cameron that can move all over the place cuz it's really light and just uses the lapbelt. Lizzie and Genny's seats belt in with the latch system. Those latch hooks are so hard to get in and out. I really hate moving their seats around. I like to keep their seats on the ends of the first two benches closest to the doors because when I have to get them in the van it is so hard to hold on to both of them and climb in the van at the same time to get to the farther seats. If I let go of one of them, they will run away from me. So by putting their seats on the ends of the benches, I quickly and easily pop each girl up into their seat and then buckle them. I say quickly and easily but I really mean a little quicker and a little easier. It's still pretty slow and hard. I'm sorry to all the high school and middle school kids who I give rides to that have to climb over car seats to get to a seat. You are welcome to move them if you want to reattach them for me after you get out.

I have to say that I'm sorry to Tamara Howard for not being friendly when she first moved in to our ward. I am really scared to talk to people I don't know. I am worried what they might think of me. I'm fat and I don't dress cute. I had an experience about 13 years ago. We had just moved to Toledo and I didn't know too many people at church. I went to Relief Society and I told myself I was going to sit by someone who was alone and talk to her. I did but she was not receptive to my reaching out. She didn't reach back. It was awkward and uncomfortable and I told myself that I wouldn't do it anymore. I would just talk to people I knew from then on. And that's what I've done pretty much ever since. I wait until I get to know someone from playgroup or book club or a calling and then reach out. Tamara didn't do any of these things and I never got to know her. I didn't reach out or try to get to know her at all until we had to serve together in Young Women. And then I found out what an awesome person she is. And now she is moving away. What a waste. I vowed I wouldn't ever do that again.

I have put that promise into practice by reaching out to people who have come to our ward from the old Westland Ward. I've met lots of really great, nice women because I was willing to say, "Hi, my name is Jennifer Vos. Who are you?" Somehow I'm able to forget that I'm fat and frumpy. I try and focus on looking into their eyes and letting them know that I am sincerely welcoming them. It seems to be working ok. I wish I had a smile like my mom's. She had the greatest smile. It was so welcoming and reassuring. How could you not love her?

Facebook and social media and blogging is not the devil. I was really surprised when our Bishop used my name in his admonition yesterday that social media is a scourge. It really could have been taken wrong by members of the ward. I knew what he meant. A few years ago, he gave a talk about social media being bad and said he would call it "T squared W." Said to tell him if we figured it out. I figured out that it meant "total time waster." So he tells ward to beware social media and that it's a "T squared W" and just ask Jennifer Vos. Someone could take that to mean that Jennifer Vos wastes all her time on social media. Just ask her how that's working for her. It really took me aback. I wish he hadn't said my name. And I really don't think social media is a scourge.

I am doing the snack shack for Steeler Football again. I really love doing it. It's so much work. But I love helping and being involved. The boys had their first scrimmage on Saturday and their first game is this coming Saturday. I'm excited for it! They love playing so much and are really dedicated to it. The parents who participate as coaches and volunteers are some of the best people I have ever met. I'm so glad our family is involved in such a worthwhile organization.

Emily was moved up to the senior level of the varsity swim team. I'm so proud of her. Yesterday we were singing primary songs on the way to church and I picked "The Books of the New Testament." When it came to "Timothy, Timothy, Titus and Philemon," somehow I pronounced "Titus" as "Spidus." We all cracked up and then Emily held out her hands like Spiderman and yelled "Spidus!" We are going to add that to our "KISHKUMEN" joke.

I love my family.

Random Thoughts from Jennifer Vos

I don't like Fred. He drives me nuts.

Tomorrow is Spencer's baptism. Last night I was quiet and Chris could tell I was thinking about something. He asked me what was going on and I told him I was worried about the baptism. I was freaking out because I don't have an embroidered white towel for him to dry off with and I don't have a sign in book for people to wish him well and I didn't get all his relatives to write their testimonies down for him and then scrap them in a keepsake book... I could tell Chris thought I was crazy for a second and then he reminded me that it's the ordinance that's important. My mind went to this talk. Chris is right. It's the ordinance and not all the other junk. Why do I put such an emphasis on the junk sometimes?

Anna is due in 2 weeks. Due to have a sweet, delicious baby brother. I am super excited. We decided that society needs to create special pre-labor retreats for mothers to be. You can go your last two weeks of pregnancy and be pampered. Manicures and pedicures. Room service. Movies and TV on demand. Full library. You can have visitors upon your request. Sounds heavenly. I am in full support of a portion of my tax dollars going to fund these retreat locations. It's definitely better than paying for this. Who's with me?

My friend Jodi had a baby on July 4. He's a firecracker! He weighed 5lbs at birth and is the tiniest human I can remember holding. His mouth is delightful and he is too adorable. I just want to gobble him up. Jodi had some complications after his birth and is doing better now. I was watching her boys last Friday when her husband showed up at the back door with tears in his eyes and said that Jodi needed to see me right away. I raced around to the front of the house, thinking it was the baby. But it was her that had something wrong. I was relieved! Sorry, Jodi! I love you too but was just so happy Nolan was ok. Jodi is doing better. All is well! Hooray!

Our stake dissolved one of our wards due to the fact that attendance is so low. The economy here is so bad and people are moving out looking for better prospects elsewhere. Our ward is getting new families and I am really excited about it. I can't wait to meet everyone!

Go eat this. Now.

Chris went camping with the Boy Scouts from church last weekend. One of the leaders put the keys to another leader's truck in his pocket. Then he swam in Lake Michigan. And was pushed off his raft a zillion times and covered a lot of territory on the beach full of people. Everyone got back to the truck and the keys were gone. You knew I was going to say that, right? So they looked everywhere. No keys. So they said a prayer. Chris and five boys stood on the beach and walked out into the water in a straight line. Did I mention its Lake Michigan? I looked it up. Lake Michigan has 1.2993182339658045 quadrillion gallons of water. They walked a little ways out and then one of the boys steps on something. The keys. Unbelievable. Don't tell me prayer doesn't work. I won't believe you.

Random Thoughts by Jennifer Vos

The game "Axis and Allies" is truly the hardest and most ridiculous game ever. I am a smart person and I cannot understand the BOOK of instructions. I don't know why Santa thought this would be a good gift for our family. Not only is it impossible, but it comes with a billion parts that could get lost or stepped on or eaten. I wish I could take a class on how to play it.

"Mommy, guess what this owl does?"
"I don't know, you tell me."
"No, you have to guess."
"Um...flies?"
"No, guess again."
"I have no idea."
"GUESS!"
"Eats?"
"NO! Mommy, guess right!"
"I really don't know."
"Ok, I'll whisper it into your ear."
What I hear in my ear: "spit...spit...spit some more...spit...a little bit more spit."
"Mommy, what did I say?"
Crap.
"Um...Spit?"
"NO!!"
"Ok..."
This conversation goes on for infinity.

Yesterday, I woke up with a bump on my index finger near the knuckle and my finger was quite swollen. It hurt all day and bothered me. Finally, at bedtime, I googled pictures of "swollen finger bite bump." Big mistake. I could not sleep after looking at all the pictures of wolf spiders, recluse spiders and their horrible bites. I pulled the covers over my head and tried to sleep. This morning my finger is even more swollen and it hurts very much. I really don't know what to do. Could it be a bite? I didn't injure it. I am concerned.

I really like my kids' friends.

Our 16th wedding anniversary was on Wednesday. Hooray for us! Tonight we are going to Toledo to stay over at a hotel and go to some of our favorite places there. Thanks to Anna for staying with our kids. I'm really excited!

It bugs me when I hear a song on the radio that I really like and I'm singing along and maybe dancing a little and thinking how cool and hip I am and then I realize that the song is almost 20 years old and I am old and unhip.

Yesterday during the nightly kitchen clean-up, something got lodged in the garbage disposal. The disposal came to a grinding halt. My job is always the disposal unclogger. After a 10 minute hunt for the unclogging tool, I tried to turn the thing to unclog it but it won't turn. So then I realize that the thing clogging it is one of my new measuring spoons. It's a really nice one. Unlodging this spoon is going to require Chris' help. We work on the disposal together and somehow the entire disposal unhooks itself and ends up on the floor under the sink. Kerplunk. Dirty, stinky food water is all over the bottom of the cabinet. Ugh. We work on this spoon, finally unlodging it. It's bent to heck. So then we get the disposal hooked back up like its supposed to. Clean up all the water. Hooray. I don't know why this story seemed better before I typed it out.

Yesterday, Spencer went to a friend's house. I wasn't home when he left. He couldn't find his tennis shoes when he left, so he grabbed the closest pair he could find. They were a brand new pair of shoes that Grammy bought for Calvin but they were two sizes too big for Calvin. They still have a giant tag on them. So Spencer wore out in public a pair of shoes that are fives sizes too big for him and have a tag on them. Not just a little tag, the store display tag. Sometimes I'm surprised child protective services doesn't show up and take all the kids away.

If you iron your sheets, I can no longer be your friend.

Random Thoughts by Jennifer Vos

How can you cancel a tv show after just two episodes?

Around 2:15pm my chest starts to feel tight. My head feels like it is ready to explode.

If I had three wishes right this second, I would wish for our house to be complaint free, thicker skin and that I could never lose anything.

I need three more wishes.

A house keeper, one meeeeellion dollars and a wardrobe entire made of clothing by Sigrid Olsen who is currently no longer designing clothes but I would wish her out of retirement.

Is that technically four more wishes?

I need some cider and donuts from Parmenters. Really fresh ones. Not the old hard ones that are on my counter. I also need a Coke. I wish that all the fountain pops here were like in Provo. Caffeine free. That's all I wish that was like Provo here. Except for fry sauce. And Sconecutter. But I think, technically, Sconecutter was in Orem. But that's it.

How many wishes am I up to now? 7?

If Jon Stewart ever quits television, I am too.

Not really.

Come visit me in the snack shack on Saturday. Bring me valium. Or anything you may have that is stronger. And doesn't transfer through breastmilk.

It's conference weekend. Big breakfast. Conference bingo. Hip Hip Hooray! Oh yea, and the only living prophet on the earth today will counsel us. Just a small detail I forgot.

Genny peed in my bed this morning. I still haven't changed the sheets. I'll know if Chris has read this by tonight if he asks be about it before he gets into bed.

Calvin has a project due tomorrow to display his family tree. We are supposed to work on it as a family which I think is teacher code for, "Mom does it." I found a cool picture of a tree and mounted it on posterboard. I printed out pictures of ancestors to glue on tree. We are writing names and details by the pictures. I think it will be cool. I talked to Calvin about it last night. He said a girl in class turned hers in already. Its a real tree with faces hanging from the branches. Its really cool, he says. I'm ready to disembowel myself. Chris whispers to me, "She's an only child." Sometimes he knows the exactly right thing to say.

Sometimes I'm pretty sure my children don't think of me as a real person.

Sometimes I'm pretty sure I'm really stupid.

Random Thoughts by Jennifer Vos

I'm way behind on my blogging. Most of what is happening here I deem unblogworthy. I read other people's blogs and they seem so relevant and sophisticated. Mine seems boring in comparison.

What's happening here?

Last month, Emily was awarded first prize for 7th graders at her school in a writing contest by the local Rotary Club. We got to go to a ceremony where she received a certificate and $100 savings bond. Great Job, Emily!

I went with Calvin's class on their field trip touring the Ren Cen and a boat ride up the Detroit River. It was super informative and I really enjoyed it. It seemed especially fitting to be touring the Ren Cen on the eve of GM's bankruptcy announcement. Calvin and I had a good time together looking at all the sights of Detroit and eating at the food court in the Ren Cen.

Poor GM. Poor Detroit. It's very sad. I feel like the maitre-d' in Ferris Bueller. I weep for the future.

Anna and I got all the plants planted in our garden. It is growing very nicely and we even have blossoms on our tomato plants. I read somewhere that animals will stay away if they smell human urine near the garden. My boys have loved going out and "watering" the perimeter of the garden. It seems to be working so far.

I spent 20 minutes last night in my van at the church watching two church boys jump from the back of our Bishop's pick-up to the top of their Ford E Series full size van. Then they would jump all the way to the ground. Sometimes they would vary it by jumping back into the Bishop's pick-up. I found it quite amusing and I was thankful that it would never occur to my boys to do something like that.

A dear friend turned 30 last week and I was able to participate in her surprise 30th birthday party. Surprise parties are my favorite. I love them.

Lizzie is scooting backward and loves being able to move herself around and find treasures on the floor to put in her mouth.

Only 7 more days of school. It's about time!! Love summer!

Random Thoughts from the Westland Mall

So, I'm still pregnant. Nothing is happening. I am almost hoping that it doesn't happen until after Saturday. Saturday is the boy's second and last football game. For Calvin, it is the only game he gets to play in. It is also Homecoming which means extra festivities that moms and dads need to be there for. If I go into labor by Thursday, I would be able to attend. If I go Friday or Saturday, I will miss. I will not have Chris miss. If the horrible happens and I go Saturday, Anna will have to be my coach. Chris has to be at the game with them. That's not selfish of me is it? Will Lizzie feel slighted later in life is Chris misses her birth for a football game? I hope not because if she does that's just too freaking bad. She has had ample time to come out and if she picks Saturday that's her own fault. :)

I went to the Westland Mall this morning to walk around and maybe get my slow moving cervix moving faster. I am not a mall frequenter. I can't remember the last time I went...maybe in March to get Emily's ears pierced. I am always shocked by the things I see there.

I am pretty sure that Satan and his minions live at Spencer's Gifts.

Some store called "Forever 21" was selling a crested sweater. The crest was exactly like the one on my HS uniform blazer. I could totally be in if I had saved that blazer!

Victoria's Secret is selling U of M t-shirts. Ok...it's been a long time since I've worn lingerie and even longer since I've been in a Victoria's Secret but since when are college t-shirts considered lingerie? I really want to know.

Charging $0.75 for a little kid to ride a little car for 3 seconds should be punishable by law.

All of my favorite scents are no longer available at Bath and Body Works. :(