How can you cancel a tv show after just two episodes?
Around 2:15pm my chest starts to feel tight. My head feels like it is ready to explode.
If I had three wishes right this second, I would wish for our house to be complaint free, thicker skin and that I could never lose anything.
I need three more wishes.
A house keeper, one meeeeellion dollars and a wardrobe entire made of clothing by Sigrid Olsen who is currently no longer designing clothes but I would wish her out of retirement.
Is that technically four more wishes?
I need some cider and donuts from Parmenters. Really fresh ones. Not the old hard ones that are on my counter. I also need a Coke. I wish that all the fountain pops here were like in Provo. Caffeine free. That's all I wish that was like Provo here. Except for fry sauce. And Sconecutter. But I think, technically, Sconecutter was in Orem. But that's it.
How many wishes am I up to now? 7?
If Jon Stewart ever quits television, I am too.
Come visit me in the snack shack on Saturday. Bring me valium. Or anything you may have that is stronger. And doesn't transfer through breastmilk.
It's conference weekend. Big breakfast. Conference bingo. Hip Hip Hooray! Oh yea, and the only living prophet on the earth today will counsel us. Just a small detail I forgot.
Genny peed in my bed this morning. I still haven't changed the sheets. I'll know if Chris has read this by tonight if he asks be about it before he gets into bed.
Calvin has a project due tomorrow to display his family tree. We are supposed to work on it as a family which I think is teacher code for, "Mom does it." I found a cool picture of a tree and mounted it on posterboard. I printed out pictures of ancestors to glue on tree. We are writing names and details by the pictures. I think it will be cool. I talked to Calvin about it last night. He said a girl in class turned hers in already. Its a real tree with faces hanging from the branches. Its really cool, he says. I'm ready to disembowel myself. Chris whispers to me, "She's an only child." Sometimes he knows the exactly right thing to say.
Sometimes I'm pretty sure my children don't think of me as a real person.
Kids are back in school. I have five kids in four schools. Emily is a freshman. She is loving it and I am so glad. Her school consists of three high school buildings on 500 acres. The total student population is over 5,000. I went to her open house and was not loving walking between the buildings between classes. She gets 10 minutes "passing time." I was the only parent with a baby with me. What's up with that? Emily died of embarrassment when I told her that I nursed the baby during math class. She said her teacher is going to mark her down now. If anything, I think she would get a higher grade. At least out of sympathy for having such a kooky mom and krazy family. My Emily's mornings consist of trying to make it to Seminary on time and fighting with the kids to get the front seat in the van. My Her afternoons consist of trying to make it to swimming on time and yelling at everyone when we don't. She is doing a great job with swimming and her team has won all their meets so far. Way to go, Wildcats! Emily is supposed to take the bus home, but she cannot make it all the way from the far west end of Plymouth to the Salem bus loop before the bus leaves. I was picking her up every day at 2:15 and interrupting naps and getting very annoyed. A friend and I devised a carpool for that and I am not so annoyed any longer.
Christopher is in middle school with no other Vos' there to torment for support. I didn't make it to his open house because I am a bad mom I didn't have anyone to watch the four babies I would have had to take with me that night. Four babies is just too much to take to an open house. His mornings consist of getting to Orchestra on time and being happy he is the first one in the van and gets to choose his seat. His afternoons consist of complaining that he doesn't get to go to Grammy's house and FOOTBALL.
Calvin and Spencer are in elementary school. Spencer is learning how to ride the bus and how to eat lunch at school. He leaves each morning repeating the lunch choice over and over so he doesn't forget it. "Chicken sticks and mashed potatoes, chicken sticks and mashed potatoes..." Their mornings consist of hurrying to eat their chocolate cheerios and make the bus. Their afternoons consist of FOOTBALL.
Cameron is going to preschool. He seems to really enjoy it, although the only details I've gotten from him so far are that he does nothing there and the school has a gym in the basement. He is lucky to have three church friends going with him to his same class. He spends his mornings trying to figure out how to get fruit snacks out of the bin on top of the fridge and his afternoons sleeping in the van.
Lizzie and Genny are along for the ride. We go to the park sometimes and play. Sometimes Lizzie and I play outside while Cam is gone and Genny is sleeping. Lizzie and Genny spend alot of time in the van, as well.
As for me, I'm great. I get up at 5:55 to holler to Emily that she is going to be late for Seminary and then run around the house finding her missing sock and shirt 5:30 to see Emily off to Seminary. I get CV up at 6 and we leave to pick up the Seminary kids at 6:40. I come home and fall back asleep until 8:30 when I frantically race around getting Spencer and Calvin out the door and do laundry and dishes until it's time to get up Spencer and Calvin. I get them on the bus and then Lizzie and Cam are ready for breakfast. Somewhere in between all these comings and goings, Genny usually eats once or twice.
Some days I can stay home all day. Like today. I don't have to go anywhere until it's time to take Emily to swimming and the boys to football. I get to watch TV all day and order pizza and drink coke and read books and eat chocolate and play Plants vs. Zombies catch up on cleaning and laundry.
I am in charge of the volunteer job from hell snack shack again this year. I've spent a fair amount of time shopping for food and the like. Our first game was this past Saturday. We did a great job in the shack and sold $2300 worth of non-organic walking tacos and other tasty treats. We did have a couple of crazy moments like when the grill caught fire. Repeatedly. And when some of the Styrofoam cups had holes in them and coffee and hot cocoa went all over the floor. And any time Seth came in the building. Other than that, tho, it was great. The boys did a great job on the field. Spencer and Calvin's teams both won. Christopher's wasn't so lucky. The team they played was bigger and faster and just tougher than they were. I didn't get to see much of the games but I did take a break for a second to watch Christopher snap the football. I couldn't have been prouder of him. It brought tears to my eyes.
Some random notes:
We held our 2nd Annual Outdoor Movie Night. Tony made an awesome screen! It was so great. We watched "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" outside on the coldest night of the summer. It was super fun.
Jodi and I had our annual chocolate party that celebrates mourns the loss of our children for 6-7 hours a day. We had some really yummies like homemade fudge, fondue and fruit, chocolate lava cake, chocolate trifle, Irish coffee cheesecake and something else really yummy with a crust, chocolate and apricots. It was delish.
The Entertainment Weekly Fall TV Preview arrived. I love it. Fall TV season is here!
I ate my first Parmenters donut on Saturday.
You should try Ichiban Japanese Steakhouse on Ford Road. Yummy.
Fall Festival was a little lame this year. What's up with that? CV won a fish which thankfully sadly died in two days.
Jennifer Daughter of Blair and Gloria Wife of Chris Mother of Emily, Christopher, Calvin, Spencer, Cameron, Lizzie and Genny Had a super hard busy day yesterday Got up at 5:30 Went too many places None of them were for me Nursed the baby in four different parking lots Had to go to Open House with three babies Met the teachers Found Calvin's desk Read his bio-poem "I want less brothers and sisters and more money" Left the school blinking back the tears stinging my eyes My life's work to nurture and love seems to be for naught Finally fell into bed at 11:45 Feeling like a failure Vos