Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan armada.

Does anyone have a great system for limiting the time spent playing video games in their home? Other than just turning it off and saying no. I'm looking for a schedule/system...something to help our video game playing in moderation. Thanks for the help!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Open, Open Your eyes!

This Saturday was my Platte Family Christmas Party. I have posted about this party in past years...about the great food I get to eat and the wonderful family I get to see. This year my aunts made a scrapbook for Anna and me of many pictures that they had of my mom. It is really adorable. There are pictures in there of her that I had never seen from her childhood and young adult years. I loved looking at it. They also made a video of the pictures set to music that they are singing. My aunts are wonderful singers. I love the sound of their voices so much.

This year it seemed that my mom was everywhere at the party. She was holding babies. She was clapping and singing. She was in my Aunt Tina's smile. She was cooking and washing dishes. She hugged me with Aunt Pat's arms. She was laughing at the "Santa" gifts. She was eating glorified rice and vegetable pizza. She looked at me through Anna's eyes.

In August she will have been dead for 20 years. That seems like a really long time yet the pain I feel at missing her is still so new. I am never going to get over this. I am always going to be an emotional wreck.

Lately, I have been so angry at this loss. I have read and read and read and been reminded by friends and therapists that there are five stages of grief. Sometimes I feel like I am in all of them at the same time. I am so angry at God for taking her away and I am angry at everyone who has a mother and I am angry at everyone who is her age and is not my mother and I am angry at her for leaving. Pretty much I am angry at everyone. Except maybe Anna and the kids.

Someone commented to me today that I haven't been posting regularly lately. I think it's because my feelings have been so complicated and self-pitying and stupid of late. I can't seem to get it together to post something uplifting and inspiring. But I have been feeling like something is missing when I don't post often. So maybe this blog is going to follow me through this season I am in. I just hope it is a short one.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Random Thoughts by Jennifer Vos

I need to get into a regular posting schedule.

Sirius Black is my favorite Harry Potter character besides Harry Potter. Yesterday, someone told me that they have a hard time getting through the movies. Because he was a bit older than me, I forgive him, but he is on my list of people not to be trusted. I am considering camping out for movie 7 tickets now.

My favorite album besides Beatles is Hysteria.

I don't like my kids to play in the snow because it is such a mess when they come in.

I am making homemade macaroni and cheese for dinner.

My ultrasound is on January 29. Stay tuned for gender news! Tomorrow my baby is as big as a turnip.

I don't get the song "Push" by Matchbox Twenty. I don't want to push anyone around.

I love reading other people's blogs. I spend too much time on it.

My laundry room is becoming much more functional. I am thankful for Chris' hard work in there. I wish I had a webcam in there so that I would keep it clean. Knowing that people might be looking at it would be good incentive.

My new Primary class is great and I love them but I don't know if I am a good teacher to one of my students. He is a handful. I don't know quite how to deal with him.

I haven't taken a shower yet today.

I love being a mother but the hours aren't really convenient to my sleep schedule.
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