Did you see "Alien"? When the creature was in that guy's stomach? It feels like that. Freshman

My baby girl is starting high school in 10 days, 15 hours, 33 minutes and 57...56...55. Not that I'm thinking about it at all. Maybe just a smidge.

She went to school today for Freshman Orientation. She found out her schedule, got some books, got her picture taken. She said it was fun and she ate lunch with her swimming friends. Yay for swimming friends!

She had several outfits picked out to wear. I shouldn't call them outfits...I think that would make her gag. She had several really cool shirts picked out to choose between. In the car going somewhere yesterday, she asked me what I wore for my freshman picture day. I told her my uniform and a John Lennon pin that said "Give Peace a Chance." She made a face and thought the pin was really dumb. Why did I wear a pin?

I explained about the old St. Ursula uniform. Try to imagine this. It could be any fabric you wanted. Anything. I had a red one with bears, I had plaid, I had one with frogs...I can't remember the rest. It was a dress, three pleats in front, three in back, long sleeves and knee length, matching belt around the waist. If that wasn't hideous enough, we wore a white detachable collar with a pin that connected the two sides. It could be any pin as long as it wasn't offensive. When I googled "old st. ursula toledo uniform," no pictures of the uniform came up. This one did however, which I thought was HI-larious.

I had to scan my freshman yearbook to get these beauties. I had also forgotten that we could wear a matching sweater over our uniform. We were a collective hot mess.



Here's me in my monstrosity complete with ugly hair and cool John Lennon pin. Why did someone not tell me to wax my eyebrows?? I'm holding all the women in the Toledo 1st Ward responsible for not giving me this tip. I look like a Yeti.


The next year, we got much better uniforms. Traditional pleated shirt, oxford shirts and blazers. I loved wearing uniforms and I wish my kids wore them now.

I don't know if my John Lennon pin story wore off on Emily because she wore her Abbey Road t-shirt and Beatles hoodie. You can't really tell it's Beatles-wear but it is. She thinks the picture looks stupid. Honey, you think you look stupid?? Take a look at my beautiful mug two inches up. You are gorgeous.


Two most important tips for first day of Freshman Year:

1. Wear enough deodorant. I didn't and I felt like I stunk all day long.

2. Go to the correct classes. If you end up going to the wrong Biology class that is full of Sophomores, they will laugh at you and you will feel stupid.

But at ten they start the aquasonics Thirty-five geriatrics throwing elbows. It was like I was swimming through a flabby armed spanking machine.

Great news! Emily made the varsity swim team at Plymouth High School! I am so excited for her.
She's a great swimmer. She started when she was 7 swimming for clubs and has worked so hard to get where she is. I am just thrilled!

I can't wait until she gets her team suit and the "big coat." I found out that the "big coat" is actually called a "swim parka," but I am probably still going to call it the "big coat."

I had a lot of swimmer friends growing up and for some reason I was so jealous of that big coat. I just loved it. They would wear it before and after meets. I was so cool. So I keep telling Emily that while she's in school, I'm going to be going around the house wearing her big coat. She just rolls her eyes. Like it could even come close to fitting me.

Come out and see Emily swim in her meets. She's going to be great! Way to go, Emily!!

Love to! Love the bag, love the shoes, love everything. Love to!

On Saturday, Emily went to the Mock Prom at the Bloomfield Hills Stake Center. This dance included kids from four stakes in the area. It is a really fun event for the kids to be able to get dressed up and know that everyone is going to be modest. Since she just turned 14 last month, this was her first church dance. I was really excited for her!

She found a really pretty black dress at Target for $3.98. Unbelievable! Anna made her a shrug to go over her shoulders and a black cami filled in the blanks. It was perfect.

Since Anna and I were both gone to Toledo, my friend Jodi stepped in and took her to get her hair done. Unfortunately, Emily and the stylist interpreted the picture she took in very differently. I got a panicked call from Emily during intermission. She was crying and very upset because she said her hair was awful and she hated it and her day was ruined. I felt so bad being so far away and unable to help her. Jodi stepped in and saved the day with her can of hairspray and bobby pins. She came back to the house and fixed the hair so it was less Princess Leia episode 4 and more messy chignon. Lifesaver!

Chris made it home from the hospital in time to take pictures of Emily and her friends that were riding together. She looked beautiful.

From the accounts I received, she had a wonderful time and danced with five different boys. That is quite a success for a church dance. My first church dance was youth and young single adults together and one person that danced with me was 26. That was frightening. I hope they don't still do that. What a mistake! I didn't tell Emily this, but I only enjoyed one church dance I went to and that was at Youth Conference with another stake. Our church dances were always really LAME. Probably because there were 26 year olds there.

Trying to help Emily during her crisis, I was discreetly texting her after the show came back from intermission....read on...

There is more than one way to spread your wings.

Saturday was the YW broadcast at church with the Mother/Daughter dinner beforehand. I had fun with Emily. I embarrassed her by getting in line for food before she thought we should. She gave me the blackberries from her dessert. I love blackberries. We made baby blankets as a service project.

We sat in the chapel and listened to the speakers tell the YW some very important things. I sat there hoping that Emily was taking the things they said to heart. I was also listening for things that pertained to me. Things that I could do to draw closer to the Lord. I was struck when one of the speakers talked about girls and mothers and grandmothers all working on personal progress. This was something I could do! While Emily is working on her personal progress, I can do it too.

I've completed the personal progress program twice in my life. Once as a youth and once as a leader. Now I'm doing it as a mother. I've decided to do it in a very straightforward way. I am going to choose a value and do all the experiences in order and then do the project. I am doing the values in alphabetical order starting with Choice and Accountability.

I'm excited about this opportunity to grow spiritually using a tool I hadn't considered necessarily for me. I'm also excited that this is something Emily and I can do together. Maybe we can team up on a project. That would be really fun to do together.

PS: If you want to find a picture of the YW logo to put on your blog, don't google the words "young women." It's really sad and yucky what comes up.

Sweet Emses

Emily a few moments old

Yesterday was Emily's 12th birthday. This was such a milestone day for both of us. I loved that she had a snowday and was able to spend the day at home. Her new Young Women leader and two of the Beehives visited her today. They brought her balloons in the value colors and all the YW books and pamphlets. I was delighted to see how they welcomed her so openly and helped her feel comfortable with this transition. She is very nervous about attending YW this Sunday. Seeing her being unsure of this new situation reminded me of how scared I was when I started YW. I remember how grown up and sophisticated the Laurels were and how tiny and young I felt. Emily is blessed to have associations with great leaders and also older girls that are setting such a good example for her. I am so excited for her! They gave her the torch necklace, which she secretly calls the "fire lady necklace." She put it right on and wore it to school today. Entering YW is such a landmark in the life of an LDS girl. She is not a child anymore and will only get more mature and competent from here on.

Emily 1 year old

Emily age 4

Another milestone completed was getting her ears pierced. My mom had a rule that I had to be 12 to get my ears pierced and I held to the same rule for Emily. After dinner of homemade pizza, (her dinner choice) we took a family trip to the Westland Mall. We stopped at the Piercing Pagoda where she looked at the spinning display of earrings and said she was so nervous. Anna and I reassured her that it doesn't hurt and that she could do it. (Anna, you should blog about your piercing experience.) I could tell by the look on her face that she was sooo scared! She chose a very cute pair of posts and then a few minutes later, she was pierced! She looks very beautiful and grown up.

Another landmark event today was her opening a letter written to her by my mother. My mother wrote it to her in 1987 and it was addressed on the envelop to "Jennifer's Future Daughter to be Opened on Her 12th Birthday." This letter has been sitting in my jewelry box for years waiting for Emily to turn 12. I have seen her come into my room and look at the envelop, turning it in her fingers, probably wondering what her Grandma Gloria is going to tell her. I am confident that Emily grasps that this is a most precious item. I feel so fortunate that my mom was so close to the Spirit to feel the need to pen such a note. The letter was the first thing Emily asked about in the morning. She opened it and read it and let me read it. It was one of the best things I have ever read. It was lovingly addressed and told of my mom's and my relationship at the time (I was 13 when it was written). My mother implored Emily to see me as her friend and develop our relationship as mother and daughter. She said some beautiful things that I will hold dear to my heart always. Emily was visibly touched by the moment.

Emily age 8

My daughter, Emily, has been so precious to me even before she was born. When I was expecting, I knew she was a girl and I knew her name would be Emily. I would talk to her and felt so close to her. When she was placed in my arms for the first time, I knew her! She was familiar to me already. She was the sweetest baby, a delightful toddler and so enjoyable as a child. That is not to say that she was perfect. She had her moments. I recall one of them being in the Lansing Ward building when I was on assignment to visit a ward there. I often traveled to various wards for my calling and because Chris' calling was such that he couldn't take a toddler with him, she would travel with me. For the most part, she would quietly play with toys or books. One day she was just out of sorts and was screaming and carrying on. I was at my wits end with her. I took her into a classroom and was going to punish her but was overcome with a feeling that I should sing a Primary song to her at that moment. I did so and she calmed down. I remember feeling thankful for parenting help from the Master Parent. At 12, she still has her moments, but in spite of them, she is just the most wonderful daughter that there ever was. I used to get upset at the thought of her growing up and leaving home. I don't so much anymore because I know that we will be great friends forever. She and I have a bond that time, age and distance cannot overcome.

Emily, you are so dear to me and I am a better mother because I have you for a daughter.

A bundle of nerves

So kiss me and smile for me

On the way home from church today, Emily pointed out to me that the date for Summer Girls Camp was on the church bulletin for future planning. She is very excited about the fact that she gets to go to camp this next summer. We were discussing it as a family and talking about how we don't know what we will do without her for an entire week. After a few minutes, Spencer burst into tears. It took several minutes of him sobbing uncontrollably before we could get out of him what was the matter. He looked at me with eyes full of tears and weeped, "I don't want Emily to go for a whole week. I'll miss her." I had seen similar eyes once before almost 15 years ago in the wee hours of the morning of August 1, 1993. This was the morning that I loaded up my little grey Chevette and headed to Utah to attend college. The eyes that were full of tears were Anna's. It was heartbreaking to leave her that day and I remember crying my way through several states.

I don't know if my father was really wise or really stupid for letting me drive myself to Utah from Ohio at age 18. I know that I wouldn't let my daughter do it in a million years. However, he let me exert some independence and because of that experience, I learned a great deal. I learned that I am not a follower of the crowd. I learned that I love my home and my family more than anything in the whole world. I learned that BYU isn't the only place on the earth for strong, happy, faithful LDS people to be after high school. I don't think I would have learned these lessons in any other way than doing what I did that August morning.

For some reason, I have been thinking a lot lately about leaving home and having children leave home. This experience that Emily will have this summer of going to Girls Camp and being independent of her family is the first of many that will come to her over the next few years. Before we know it, she will be 18 and heading out to the college of her choice (as long as it is MSU). I know it is 6 years away, but it is going to fly by. When she was born, my dad said something very wise. He was holding her in his arms, his first grandchild, and he looked at me and said, "In what will feel like 2 weeks, she will be driving." I laughed then and thought there was no way that that was true. However, I sit here almost 12 years after he said it and I know it is true. It feels like yesterday that she was born and tomorrow she will leave.

As I think about all these things, I wonder if I am feeling a small part of what Heavenly Father feels when He sends us to this earth and we leave Him for a little season. We come to this earth to exert our independence and try out new things. He hopes we will choose the right path and return home again one day. I picture Him releasing us to our new experience knowing that mortality is such a short time and knowing that we are going to make mistakes but that we are going to return to Him having learned so many things that we could only learn from our turn on earth. I am thankful to Him for giving us this opportunity.

I remember the teary eyes that greeted me home on December 19, 1993. The joy that I had when I ran into my home in Toledo and embraced my father and my sister after being separated from them for those 4 months is indescribable. There were tears shed on this morning, but they were tears of happiness and joy. This reunion could only possibly be eclipsed by the reunion that we will have one day with our Father and our Savior after mortality. As our family begins to navigate new waters of children experiencing life in new ways independent from our family, I pray that we will adapt to this change. Though the parting might hurt for a moment and we will miss each other, we are sealed together forever. Thankfully, this eternal bridge connects us no matter where mortality may take us.

The Emily Rising

Emily is starting a book discussion group at her middle school. They are meeting during lunch in the library to discuss, "The Tiger Rising," by Kate DiCamillo. She thinks that six people are going to attend today, but hopes to recruit more for next month. What a great idea she had to do this! I am anxious to hear how the discussion went when she gets home from school today.

Is mayonnaise an instrument?

Emily had her first band concert on Tuesday evening. She plays the french horn for 5th hour band at West. She is doing really well and we are very proud of her progress. The director singled her out as an outstanding student playing a very difficult instrument. It was fun to see her and I am proud of the way she is developing her talents. Nice Job, Em!

I don't think your parents will ever ask me to babysit again.

Emily babysat last night until around midnight. This morning I asked her how it went and she said fine but she was embarrassed because she feel asleep and the parents had to wake her up when they got home. She was so worried that the mom was mad at her for falling asleep. I was quickly reminded of an experience of my own babysitting and falling asleep. I was probably 14 or 15 and I was babysitting on a Friday night for a family. I was getting ready and trying to decide whether or not to wear a certain light yellow sweater. I decided against it and left. I babysat for their three monsters (they really were) and it got late and I dozed off. I was awakened by the parents when they returned home. I got up a little disoriented and gathered my stuff, including a yellow sweater that I was certain was mine. The parents kept trying to take it away from me, but I insisted and I left with it. I guess I was still half asleep. When I woke up in my own bed in the morning, I arose and saw this unfamiliar yellow sweater laying on my floor. I couldn't place it for a moment and then uh-oh, I knew. I had taken home the husband's sweater from babysitting the night before. I was absolutely humiliated. I had to return the sweater to them at church on Sunday and they snickered. They thought it was hilarious and I do too, now. At the time, I was horrified that this had happened to me. My children are so lucky to have a mom with an unending supply of embarrassing experiences to make them feel better through their growing up years.