Monday, January 30, 2012

You mean she was asking me to wear this ridiculous shirt on national TV, and I said 'Yes'?!

On Sunday in Sunday School we discussed my very favorite story in the Book of Mormon. It was the story of Nephi being told by the Lord to build a boat. I love Nephi's response to the Lord so much. "Whither shall I go that I may find ore to molten, that I may make tools to construct the ship after the manner which thou hast shown unto me?" 1 Ne 17:9. He did not doubt. He did not waver. He did not question. He just said "tell me what to do and I'll do it."

Here's what I would have said if I was Nephi: "What? I don't know how to make a ship. I can't do this. You have the wrong person. I'm just little ol' Nephi. Please ask someone else."

Chris and I had been married for about a year when we were called into the stake president's office. We were both given new callings. Chris was called as the Elders Quorum president. That didn't phase me. Chris is awesome. But then the stake president called me to serve in the stake YW presidency. I was floored. My response went something like this: "Do you know who I am? I am Jennifer Vos. I think this is a mistake. You might have the wrong person." He assured me that I was in fact the Jennifer Vos that he wanted to call to this calling. I accepted the calling and it turns out that I was really good at it. The Lord knew I could do it.

I have thought of Nephi being called to build the boat often lately. I have been called to add another child to my family. Although I am always willing to welcome a new baby to our home, I doubt my abilities. My first response is not always, "Whither shall I go that I may find diapers that I may change this baby?" Usually, it's more like this: "I am just Jennifer Vos. I don't know much. I don't do great. Are you sure that this is what you want for me to do? Why are you trusting me to do this?"

Sometimes I just don't feel equal to the task. It doesn't help that most of the world around me thinks I'm led away by the foolish imaginations of my heart. I'm lucky to have some very special Sams who always are encouraging and must see something in me that God sees for calling me to this work in the first place. I truly thank the Lord for Nephi's example and courage. Because of him, I'm a little more willing to trust the Lord's plan in my own life.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Fourteen years down the drain.

I throw up alot. Multiple times a day. Morning. Afternoon. Night. Any time.

Usually it's a smell that hits me. Like chicken or fish or cologne or poop or basically any smell that is strong. Good or bad. My husband is forbidden from wearing cologne for the next four months because I just can't take it. I hugged a woman at church on Sunday and almost threw up down her back because the perfume smell was sickening.

If Chris wants a kiss, he knows the drill. He must scrinch up his lips really tight so not one bit of air or saliva can escape. He can lightly brush my lips but must never ever exhale when he is close to me so that I don't get a whiff of his breath and have to make a mad dash to the toilet.

I threw up at Kroger outside the pop can return area. I threw up at Meijer at the Lobster tank. I threw up while driving the car, inside a bag. After, I hoped the bag just had some trash or something unimportant in it. It had Calvin's scriptures in it. He got new ones for Christmas.

I was going to throw up yesterday and Cameron could tell the signs. "Hurry, Mom," he says, "put a wipe under your nose. And use this cup." As I threw up in the cup, he ran and got me a can of coke, which settles my stomach. Lizzie rubbed my arm and said, "It's ok, Mama. It's ok." Emily laughs at how I can lean over the sink one minute, throw up and then turn and finish making dinner. But sometimes I just can't finish it. And then Chris is wonderful and brings home pizza.

I'm going to be 24 weeks on Friday and I wish, wish, wish that this throwing up would end. But I have a feeling that it's going to be with me all the way to May 5.
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