On monday, I found out that the baby was still breech. I was scheduled for a c-section on Thursday. We went on Wednesday and made all the funeral arrangements based on a three day hospital stay. We arrived at the hospital on Thursday AM to find that she had turned head down.
Here's where Jennifer goes berzerk.
My cervix was a three and long. The doctor on call (my own doc not even there. Hate hate hate docs. Miss my midiwfe) says we can try the pills to ripen the cervix but it would take a long time and that's all they'll do for a "social induction."
Ok. I have a few issues with what she said. I tried to express them but they were falling on deaf ears. Of course the delicate genius knows so much about my labor and delivery since she's experienced the last SIX I've been through. I'm not an amature. I know what happens for me.
A. I have not gone into labor on my own with last 4 babies.
B. I don't consider wanting to have this baby so I can be guaranteed to be at my fil's funeral comforting my husband and children an induction for social reasons. Its not a party I'm missing. This is our life.
C. If I go overdue and have a 9lb 9oz baby that breaks his clavicle, I'm suing someone.
D. I've been induced from a completely closed, long unfavorable cervix. It turned out fine. They just didn't want to do it.
E. Don't tell me to trust my body. My body doesn't know what the heck its doing.
Can you tell I'm upset? I am really upset. Upset no one really listened to me and my feelings and fears. Upset that I may be sitting alone in a hospital on wednesday while my family grieves without me.
My faith is waning. I'm sorry.