Does she know that I'm sorry for when I wouldn't ride home with her on my first day of first grade? I wanted to ride the bus home and she came to pick me up. I told her to go home. Does she know I'm sorry?
Does she know I'm sorry for every time I complained about having to clean the basement with her?
Does she know I'm sorry for dropping my library book in the sink full of water? I was reading it while I was doing the dishes. She had to pay for it.
Does she know I'm sorry for lying to my dad?
Does she know I'm sorry for the times I was mean to my sister? I didn't know she was going to be my best friend someday.
Does she know I'm sorry for the time I made her so mad at me that she bit me on the hand? Why did I push her to the point of being so angry? What was wrong with me?
Does she know I was wrong when I told her I wasn't going to get married and have kids? I told her that I was going to be a brain surgeon career woman and not end up in (my exact words) "out of date, ugly clothes with a mom-hairstyle."
Does she know I'm sorry for embarrassing her by telling one of my aunts that I thought she and all my aunts and cousins were red-neck hicks?
Does she know I'm sorry for not waving at her when I walked to school? I was so mad. I should have turned and waved but I didn't.
Does she know I'm sorry for the time I embarrassed her in front of Joe Vetter? I'm not going to say what I did. It's still pretty embarrassing. I'm really sorry. Does she know?
Has she forgiven me for every thoughtless comment and missed opportunity?
Does she know that I am currently living the best life ever as a mom in out of date, ugly clothes with a mom hairstyle? Does she know that my sister is my best friend and I love my aunts and cousins so much? Does she know that I am trying to raise my kids as well as she raised me? Does she know that I think about her almost every minute of every day and am trying to live up to the example she set for me?
Does she know I love her and miss her so much it takes my breath away?
I hope she does.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
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4 comments:
Yep, she knows. I think she does, anyway.
How could she not? Looking at who you've become because of and inspite of everyone that has crossed your path. It's a Godly thing, Jennifer. You are a lovely human being. I'm glad to know you and your beautifully real, family. MO
Beautiful question.
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