Wednesday, September 19, 2012

I am not going to hell and if you think I'm going to hell, you should care that I'm going to hell even though I am not.

When I was a freshman in high school, the vending machine sold Lipton Iced Tea.  I tried it and it was delicious.  I bought one every day at lunch.  It was my favorite drink.

About half way through the year, we had a lesson at church on the Word of Wisdom.  The teacher went through the usual no tobacco, no coffee, no tea. No tea, hot or iced she said.  I sat there horrified.  I had been breaking the Word of Wisdom!  It never occurred to me that iced tea was part of it.  I felt terribly guilty and I told my mom what I learned that day when I got home.  She assured me I wasn't headed straight for hell and to stop drinking it.

Stop drinking my favorite drink!  It was hard but I did it.

In 1996 the Prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, was interview by Mike Wallace on 60 minutes.  They discussed the Word of Wisdom.  Here's what was said:

Mike Wallace: No alcohol, no tobacco, no coffee, no tea, not even caffeinated soft drinks... 
Gordon B. Hinckley: Right

So I gave up caffeinated soft drinks.  Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper.  All of them.  Because the prophet of God said the word "right."  It was hard but I did it.  I haven't had a caffeinated pop in years with the exception of some Sunkist Lemonade that we didn't know was caffeinated and all spit out simultaneous as a family about 3 years ago.

Then the Church issues On Wednesday (Aug. 29), a statement on its website saying that “the church does not prohibit the use of caffeine” and that the faith’s health-code reference to “hot drinks” ‘’does not go beyond (tea and coffee).

Ok So this is confusing.  Was President Hinckley just giving an off-handed "right," when questioned by Mike Wallace?  Did he just not want to get into it with him?  Have I been teaching my family the right thing for the last 16 years?

I'm really not ready to start drinking caffeinated Coke.  It just seems not right.  However, when school started and I began getting up at 5AM every morning and going to bed at 11PM every night and getting up several times in the night to feed the baby, my butt started really dragging.  I mean really.  So I talked to my sister and told her I was considering a Coke or 5 Hour Energy or something.  I was desperate.  Anna told me about this really great thing called Water Joe.  Water Joe is water with natural caffeine.  Just water and caffeine.  Only two ingredients.  So I went to Meijer and bought it.  I felt about as sneaky as a 18 year old trying to buy a 6 pack of beer.  I didn't drink it for a couple of days but then finally when I was dying, I drank one.  It felt like on Desperate Housewives when Lynette takes her kids' Adderall.  I was worried I was going to get caught or in trouble.  But I didn't.  And the most AMAZING thing happened.  I don't feel tired.  It is keeping me awake all day.  And I still feel tired at night when it's time to go to bed.

So no coffee, no tea-hot or cold, no alcohol.  That's in the book.  Black and white.  No caffeine?  Still a grey area.


Michelle said...

I always find it totally fascinating when you talk about church things and I think it's really cool to learn about different religious beliefs. I knew you didn't drink, but didn't know about caffeine. {Says the girl who downed a quint shot latte this morning.}

Anna said...

you're opening cans all over the place

Angie said...

:) You make me smile. For what it's worth (I know you don't agree) I think yes to your question about President Hinckley just not wanting to get into it. It was part of a list and just easier to say "right" then to explain, "well, except caffeinated drinks" because really, is anyone touting caffeine as a health food? I mean, it's probably not the smartest thing ever to get started on healthwise, but as for worthiness I don't think it's an issue (unless of course you consider it a drug, which some people do). Anyway, another question (serious question, not arguing) is there a difference between natural caffeine and caffeine in Coke? I thought all caffeine was natural? And you know I don't think you're going to hell because I think caffeine is fine (as in worthiness) anyway and always have. I think it's cute that you snuck it though.

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