Tuesday, October 2, 2012

You know where I got this? I found it in the garbage can. It kept terrible time. I brought it over to Jimmy Sherman right here on 85th and Columbus. Gave it to me back the next day. Works great. What kind of idiot throws away a perfectly good watch?

Did you own a Swatch in the 80's?  In 1986, I was DYING to own a Swatch.  Everyone in my school had a Swatch.  EVERYONE.  I didn't own one.  There was no prospect of me getting one.  I seem to remember they cost $35.  My parents wouldn't have spent $35 on a watch for me ever.  Not only wouldn't they, but they couldn't have.  We were poor.  I wouldn't have ever even asked for a Swatch.  But, man, did I want one sooooo badly.

This is the Swatch that I really wanted.  It had the 9,6 and 3 really big.  And the Swatch protector.  So cool!

Being poor would have been ok if I didn't go to school with an entire student body that had money.  I went to private school on an academic and need-based scholarship.  I envied everything those other kids had.  Especially their Swatch's.  So one night, my mom and I are out shopping for Christmas and I discovered that you could buy just the Swatch protector.

The Swatch Guard.  I started thinking.  Could I put the Swatch Guard on my current watch and pretend I had a Swatch?  Would the other kids at school be fooled into believing I was cool?  I was willing to give it a try.  Please don't laugh when I show you the watch I was putting the guard on.

It wasn't this exact watch, but it was close.  So I put the guard on my Timex and thought I was the shiz.  And I went to school the next day.  I was pretty sure I was so cool.

A mean kid named Mike Kotnik, let me know how cool I was not.  He noticed my Swatch Guard on my very uncool Timex.  He grabbed my wrist and showed another boy in the class.  "She thinks she can put this on her watch and make it a Swatch!"  They both laughed.  They told other people.  I was humiliated.

I ripped the guard off my lame Timex and threw it away.  I remember how mad and embarrassed and stupid I felt.  I've never forgotten that day.

I never did get a Swatch.  My mom actually got one from my dad when she was dying.  She had a hard time seeing and she couldn't read her watch so he went to the store looking for a watch with really big numbers.  It was a Swatch he bought for her.  He had no idea how cool it was.  He just wanted a watch for his dying wife and he would have probably paid 8x the amount if he found one that worked for her.  After she died, I tried wearing her Swatch but I couldn't.  I still have it in a box.

When I met Chris, one time I was looking through a drawer in his room.  No lie, this is what it looked like.

That boy had the Swatch's.  He used to let me wear them.  I was in heaven.  I have no idea where they are now but we should find them because I would look cool wearing a vintage Swatch.

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