Sunday, October 18, 2009

Vanessa, if you're still in, I'm still in

If you read my last post, you know my life is consumed with Steeler football right now. If I'm not washing football gear or taking boys to the field or working at the field or buying food for the shack then I'm thinking about doing it. Last Monday, I went to the board meeting and the members of the board were discussing which teams were going to make it to the playoffs and that the freshman team (Calvin's team) would most likely make it to the Super Bowl. As I was sitting and listening to them discuss the logistics of these games, I imagined in my mind Calvin's excitement of playing in the Super Bowl with his teammates and how much he would just love it.

Of course the Super Bowl and the other playoff games are all on the Sabbath.

If you have read other previous posts of mine, you know that we choose not to play on the Sabbath. This decision that we made is the right one. Its still really hard, though, when I know my kids are going to miss out on this good thing. I keep reminding myself of "Good, Better, Best." Football is good. Sabbath observance is best. Someday there will be a reward for our sacrifice. We were discussing it at dinner tonight and Christopher commented that most of the kids on his team think it's really weird that he won't play on Sunday. They ask him, can't he just come to the game after church? He tells them no because then he wouldn't be able to keep the day holy. One boy told him that he really respects him for that, 21 boys think he's weird.

As I have been thinking about this all week, I have been pondering our faith, our LDS religion. It seems more and more that we have to make decisions to either be in or out. The middle ground, gray area, is growing increasingly narrower. This becomes especially apparent to me as my children get older and the consequences of the decisions they are going to make can be perilous. Our 15 year olds should not be dating. Not even for Homecoming! They should be dressing modestly. All the time! They should not be skating on thin ice by paring up at such young ages. Serious dating is for after missions!

All of the decisions we are making right now as parents, as families require us to decide: Are we in or are we out? In my mind, there is just no half way. I want me and my family to be all in. I know that might make us weird. I'm so okay with it. I'm so okay with Christopher telling his date for a dance that he can't take her if her dress isn't modest. I'm so okay with missing swimmeets and games and parties to keep the Sabbath Day holy. I'm so okay with the fact that someday Lizzie might miss out on going to Homecoming because her birthday is in the fall and she might only be 15 and 11/12. I'm so okay with paying extra to alter an immodest dress or fly one here from Utah so my girls can be dressed properly for a formal.

I know it won't be easy. We have some tough teenage years ahead. I know sometimes I might even be sad. But, I've decided-no matter the consequences, not matter the judgements, no matter the sacrifice-we Vos' are all in.


Angie said...

It is true we are a peculiar people, and I think it's awesome that your family is "in". Not all families, even LDS, are this committed, and it's so refreshing to see one. You guys are awesome. You should also know that those around you notice it too. Emily is such a strength and example in Beehives, she's doing what she should and is respected for it.

Mark Brown said...

Thanks for your post...we were feeling like weirdos over here too. I took the girls to a Girl Scout event and they were the only ones wearing 1 piece bathing suits and the other girls kept pointing it out. I didn't expect things to start getting so hard so soon, but we are already having to make hard decisions too. The Brown's are in too. (Suzy wrote this even though I'm logged in as Mark. :-)

Rachel said...

Way to go Vos Family! I love coming to church on Sunday to hang out with the rest of the weirdos who are "all in." It's good to hear stories of other people making it work without compromising standards. Stick with it.

Teresa Murphy said...

You are right about it may get a little more challenging as your children grow. But it does give you an opportunity to decide if you are in or out - allowing others to have agency.
You are such a great example to me Jennifer - Thanks!

Lil said...

How true it is that the line gets thinner as our kids get older. I am just starting to face some of those challenges. Being the only member in my family has been difficult at times since we don't see eye to eye on many ways of doing things. But family is family and in the end they respect our choices. Friends are a whole other matter and can be the toughest at times. Not looking forward to those teenage years. :(

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