I think I just upset the wake up guy.

So what happened to me yesterday?

Yesterday I went to my normal doctor's appointment. My doctor checked my cervix and it had not changed since last week. He put me on the monitor and monitored the baby's heart for a while. Everything looked great he said. Lets have a baby today he said. Those were his exact words. He said he was sending me to the hospital to be induced. He said they would give me two pills to soften my cervix more and then start pitocin and then baby. He said the hospital can be sticklers about letting people in for induction so he wrote up an order for me on a prescription pad and said to tell them I was to be admitted for induction as soon as there was an open bed. He said this in front of Me, Chris and a nurse. The nurse hugged me and said congratulations and good luck. I asked the chance of me being sent home. He said no chance.

I was ecstatic.

We went home, got our bags, got Anna, got the kids all settled, said our goodbyes and see you soons.

We arrived at the hospital. The triage ladies were just like hostesses at a fancy restaurant. "Are you sure you belong here?" "Who sent you here?" "You aren't getting in." I started to worry. But they took me to a room and set me up on the monitor. Baby still looked great. A midwife checked my cervix. It hadn't changed. Still a 3 on outside and 1-2 on inside. Very long. Which the doctor knew when he sent me in. She left the room. She came back and said that she had consulted with the other doctor in my doctor's partnership and he was sending me home.

We asked to speak to my original doctor. He is unavailable. He went up north. He doesn't own a cell phone. A pager. He has dropped off the face of the earth.

New doctor tells me that he spoke with my original doctor and original doctor agrees I should be sent home.

I think new doctor is a liar. I don't think new doc talked to old doc at all.

Chris talks to new doctor. Chris is angry. Chris basically tells new doctor that he doesn't believe him. Chris demands to speak with original doctor. Chris is stonewalled. After much discussion during which new doctor does not listen to a word Chris is saying, finally new doctor says: "I have an office full of patients and I am hanging up now." And he hangs up. He hangs up on Chris. A professional doctor.

There's nothing we can do.

I start to cry. I get dressed. I'm pissed and sad and so upset.

They schedule me for induction on Tuesday morning at 7:45. I ask chances I could get sent home. There's still a chance.

They remind me to go to my regular doctor's appointment on Monday. In my head, I'm thinking, there's no chance and if Chris forgets about it, I'm not going. If I can feel Genny moving, I don't care what they have to say about it. What they say means nothing. They don't say what they mean. Or keep their word. They don't really care about patients. They care about insurance coverages, hospital policy and their precious schedule.

Last three labors for Jennifer Vos:

Dilated to 1-2. Unfavorable Cervix.
Induced on due date, one week over due, two weeks over due.
Induction takes a while to kick in. Takes 12-24 hours.
Finally get to a 4. Break water.
Go from 4-10 in about an hour.
Push 15 minutes.
Baby born.

My cervix isn't going to change in 4 days. What does it matter to them if they did it yesterday or Tuesday?

It mattered to me.

I've been on an emotional roller coaster for the past 3 months. To say that I am in a fragile state would be correct. I was ready. My kids were ready. The baby is ready. She is and don't even try to say for one second that she isn't or she knows best because she doesn't. My body doesn't work right at the end of pregnancy.

This doctor has met me once. I'll bet he didn't even read my history or care. I'll bet he doesn't know that I have had several big baby's with one breaking his shoulder during delivery. I'll bet he had tickets to something last night or reservations at some restaurant that he didn't want to mess up so he sent me home. Don't become an OB/GYN if you need your free time or like to have a schedule. You signed up for this.

Can I request that whatever staff doctor is on to deliver my baby so I don't have to see the other doctors? Because I really don't want either of them to deliver her now. I don't have any faith in them or their abilities. I don't think they care about me or my baby. Also, can I go somewhere else for my 6 week postpartum check up?

I'm not hard to get along with. I'm a nice person. I don't cause fights or problems when it's unwarranted. I'm not picky. I have had the same midwife care for me and deliver my last 3 children. If it weren't for an insurance change, I'd have them again. And I'd be happy.

Things could be different this time. My water could break. I could suddenly go into labor. I would LOVE that. But for now, I go Tuesday at 7:45am to be induced. But I'm not counting on it. I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm not going to take my bags into the hospital.

I'm having a really hard time smiling and saying everything is alright. Right now it just doesn't feel alright to me.