It's my porcelain Udder Buddy

My house has cut-out hearts and I don't care.

I'm confessing it to the world.

Any of you who have been to my house already know it but I need the rest of the world to know.

Why the need for this confession? A few years ago, I went to a RS conference and took a decorating class. The teacher, who was extremely well-meaning, had a list of decorating don'ts. I'm fairly certain that my house broke each rule. It was an eye-opening experience for me. It was the first time that I realized that my house decorations are out-of-date. I started to feel really mad at the teacher. And terribly embarrassed by what was in my house.

I came home from the event and walked around my house. I looked from one wooden shelf with cut-out hearts (Don't #1) to another. I looked at hunter green and country blue (Don't). I looked at out-dated rafia (don't) and needlepoint and hats and wreaths. And I felt bad about my stuff.

I decided I would make some decorating changes. I started with my bathroom. In the bathroom for decorations, I have a hat hanging on the wall. I have some painted hearts hanging on two ribbons, one gray and one blue. And a tiny wooden shelf with a blue heart on it. I took down the hat. And the hearts. And the shelf.

I put the stuff on my bed and went back into the bathroom. I tried to imagine what else I could put on the walls in place of the things I had taken down. I stared at my treasures hastily tossed on the bed. I felt the tears welling in my eyes and I hurried to lovingly place my things back where they belonged. The hat, made by Anna at Girl Scouts, given to me as a gift from my sweet sister. It had to go back up. The painted hearts hanging on two ribbons. I chose the ribbons for my mom. She bought the hearts somewhere. Probably ordered them from a Home Interiors catalog because when she got them she was too weak to go out. She sent me to the store with my dad and told me to pick out a ribbon to go with the hearts. Something that would go with the blue in the hearts but also the gray of the bathroom trim. I stood in the store in front of the ribbons for a long time. I didn't know which color to buy. So I bought blue and gray. I took them to her and she declared them perfect and put them together with the hearts and hung them on the bathroom wall. The shelf was made by my grandpa and painted by hand by my aunts. Taking these things down, for me, was like taking the people they represented right out of my life.

The things on my walls and in my home represent love. The needlepoint design on my wall that my mom did. Her fingers touched that thread. Part of her is in that picture. The picture cut out from the Ensign of Emma Smith playing with her children that Chris gave to me because he said it reminded him of me with our children. It's framed and hanging over my desk reminding me of the good that I do each day. The artwork that my children and my sister have done over the years is placed around. A shelf full of Wades collected for me by my dad. Framed art from Carol, each picture she chose has special meaning for me. Hansen Statues and Willow Tree mothers (headed and headless) mingle with dollar store "Mom" plaques. Things I had in my room as a child, things from our first apartment, things that were my grandmother's...I could go on and on.

In my mind I am walking around each room in my home and I am seeing everything I have as decoration and everything has a special meaning for me. Taking it down is like taking down a piece of me. And to what end? So my house is updated? I don't care. It's my house. It's my home where I want to sit and feel the safety and love it affords me each day.

So come on over and look at my stuff. I welcome you with open arms. And cut-out hearts.