Friday, February 13, 2009

I'm sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.

There are some people out there that are so beautiful I just can't take my eyes off them. I'm talking both men and women. My eyes become transfixed on their faces. There was a another mom at preschool when Calvin was there who was so gorgeous that whenever I worked with her, I couldn't stop looking at her face. There's a high school girl in our ward that is so pretty, I can't look her in the eye. I had a HUGE crush on a guy once that was so good looking that whenever he got close to me, I backed away. I was frightened of his gorgeousness. I imagine this is how I would feel around Katie Holmes, Jason Lewis or Colby Donaldson. All of them are so good looking.

Yesterday I was wasting time on Facebook and I saw that a friend of a friend is a girl that Chris briefly dated in college. I have never met her but I have always liked her because she did a really great thing for Chris. She encouraged him to go on a mission. I have always been really thankful to her for doing this. Girls have such a big influence on boys in this area. I'm glad she used her influence for good. So, I logged in to Chris' Facebook account and requested she be his friend. **Aside Note--Chris rarely logs into FB. I manage his account for him.** She accepted "his" request and I looked at her photos and started to feel completely insecure. She is gorgeous! She is one of those people that you can't take your eyes off because they are so completely good looking.

I have been married to Chris for 14 years and never once have I worried that he wasn't in love with me or that he wished he had married one of the former girls that he dated--until now. This girl is so pretty. How can he not wish that he was with such a pretty wife? I called him right away (because he is in freakin' Texas!!) and had him reassure me that he does love me and thinks I'm pretty and that he won't leave me to go in search of his gorgeous ex-girlfriend. He tells me I'm pretty all the time but I never believe him because I am fat. Fat people aren't pretty. Telling them they are is just pitying them. The prettiest fat person isn't as pretty as a skinny normal person.

I don't worry that he is going to run off with her. She's married and looks pretty happy with her pretty husband. However, it's the thinking I worry about. He might be thinking he missed the boat on picking a pretty wife. He might be thinking why am I not as pretty as her. He might be wishing I was 10 or 100 pounds thinner.

I wish I had never found the friend of a friend. Facebook is the devil.

1 comment:

Nicole said...

Luckily Taylor didn't date too many people before me, but his ex-fiance made a huge impression on him, and he brings up how much she hurt him occasionally. Not only is she gorgeous...she contacted ME on FB to see how he was. Plus she admitted that she stalks my blog.

In other news, the boy I loved all through elementary school added me on FB yesterday, and told me he was in love with me too.

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