What's happenin', Hot Stuff?

Today is my birthday. Happy birthday to me! It's hard to believe that I'm 33. Most of the time, I still feel like I am 15. Some of my favorite birthdays from years past:

1981: 7th birthday My mom had a party for my girlfriends from school. We made a Christmas ornament and homemade pizza. I got my first Monopoly game and played it nonstop for the next 13 years.

1990: 16th birthday My mom had died earlier this year and so many of my aunts came to my house, made me yummy food and gave me the best, softest comforter for my bed. I still have it and coincidentally, it is Chris' favorite blanket to snuggle with.

1992: 18th birthday My friends threw me the greatest surprise birthday party. We had the best food and watched "16 Candles" all night long. My dad gave me a letter my mom had written to me before she died to be opened on my 18th birthday. Possibly the best birthday I have ever had.

2000: 26th birthday Al Gore stepped down in his fight for the presidency making George W the winner. A great present! I had playgroup at my house with my friends and we ate yummy food. Chris got me a really great "Law and Order" cake.

I have a hard time on my birthday because, for some reason, the loss of my mom is magnified 1000 times. I don't know if it is because she gave birth to me or if it is because she would make the day so special or why I miss her so much on this day. I think it is because I selfishly wish for that one person who loves you more than anyone else and gives you all of her attention. I want to be spoiled by her for one day and it always hits me hard on my birthday.

I didn't mean for this to be a sad post. I meant for it to be happy because birthdays are happy days. My poor family tries so hard to make this day bright and wonderful for me. I love them so much and I wish that I could bottle up this loss that I feel and just be happy today. Emily is making me dinner tonight and we are going to put up the Christmas tree. I am very excited.