I've got it! Nurse, call the Anesthesiologist, this woman needs an enema!

I have officially entered my least favorite part of pregnancy. It is called the Prodromal Labor phase. This phase involves losing my mucous plug (sorry TMI, I know) and a lot of contractions that last for several hours at a time and are rather mild but uncomfortable. However, the contractions stop and go nowhere. It is frustrating and annoying. I have experienced this type of labor with my three previous pregnancies and was hoping to avoid it this time, but no such luck. My midwife says I have a lazy uterus. I guess it goes with the rest of me.

I saw a friend at the grocery store last weekend and she asked me how I'm doing and I said I was fine but ready for the baby to arrive. She has never been supportive of our choice to have a large family and snidely said, "Being pregnant at 33 is different from being pregnant at 23. Maybe this will be your last one." I felt discouraged for a moment but just let her comment go. I was pregnant at 21 and 23 and 25 and 28 and 31 and now 33 and the last 2-3 weeks are miserable no matter how old you are. At 21, I laid on the couch for a week straight in my nightgown eating bananas and pop tarts and reading books. I got up to pee and shower. The only reason I'm not doing that now is because I have kids to take care of. Age has nothing to do with pregnancy discomfort. It's uncomfortable for everyone.

So I'm taking sympathy for the next few weeks. I'm letting myself wallow in my pregnant misery. I don't feel wonderful and glowing nor am I having a burst of energy. I feel like "Mr. Richard Feder from Fort Lee, New Jersey writes in and says: "Dear Roseanne Roseannadanna, Last Thursday, I quit smokin'. Now, I'm depressed, I gained weight, my face broke out, I'm nauseous, I'm constipated, my feet swelled, my gums are bleedin', my sinuses are clogged, I got heartburn, I'm cranky and I have gas. ... What should I do?" ... Mr. Feder, you sound like a real attractive guy! ..."